Search Results: texting phones

Me (26) and my girl (25) been together over 6 years, first year we were together she cheated on me very cold heartedly. On New Years I was supposed to work the day after so I couldn't make it but my boss let me off last minute so I surprised her at the bar she was going to with her "friends" caught her rubbing her ass on a guy, beat the shit out of him & got kicked out & wait outside the bar 4 hours til it closed and she walked past me with him and went home with him, I went to her house to grab my shit and he answered her door in just underwear. Traumatic af. Day after she came to my house to apologize and for me to break up w/ her and while she was crying in my washroom I went through her phone (she'd cheated on me multiple times with multiple people & fucked him before I beat him up in his hotel room & also secretly had a STI, I tested and didn't have it). Broke up & I hated her for months. Got back together via seeing her at a bar and hooking up, I stated no guy friends, no going out past 1, no hotels w/out me. Years have past and things have been smooth & live together, she's in Law school now & ever since she got in Law school she has forgotten all my boundaries. She's going out to parties and friends houses until 5am, she went on a school trip to a big hotel (majority of the students in her class didn't go too) for over a week (wouldn't text me until the noon after every day) & she has a Mexican girls trip now planned for this summer. I don't want to control her, I feel silly enough and honestly our past haunts me & she knows this because I've made it extremely clear but I don't trust her in those situations and personally I feel like it's avoidable to stay out every weekend until 4-5am & I would be down to go on trips with her too. Is it fair boundaries that If she can't change her current habits of hers I've mentioned given out past or is that unfair?

There are two types of long distance relationships:

1. When you meet, you live near each other, you begin a relationship, and then circumstances lead one of you to move away far enough that you can't see each other on a weekly basis. I am NOT asking about this type of LDR.

2. The second type is where you meet online, exchange texts, emails, phone calls, and clearly establish some romantic interest in each other. THIS is what I am asking about.

I have had the second type. I met a user on this site, who I will not name due to my respect for her. She is a beautiful lady who lives in Brazil, about 3,500 miles from my hometown. We talked, but not frequently, as she was somewhat shy, but we texted more frequently. I would have flown to Brazil to meet her, but this happened in 2020 - covid times. It became obvious that the international travel ban would not soon be lifted and there were some other factors that made me less hopeful about a future with her. We ended the regular communications and I have only heard from her sporadically since then.

I have a theory that shy people sometimes seek long distance relationships because they have an internal conflict: part of them wants to be in a relationship and part of them wants to run away from the idea. By finding a LDR, you can tell yourself that you are in a relationship without facing the prospect of actually meeting and dealing with all of the anxiety associated with that. But, of course, LDRs rarely materialize into real long term relationships. For most people, they are just a form of temporary "pretend" relationships.

What is your experience with LDRs?