I switched gyms and saw GC for the first time 4 months ago. He’s quiet and focused on his workouts. I planned to leave state for 2 months so I figured I’d start a small convo before leaving to get his number. We had 3 convos over 3 days. On the third day, he said “while you have your phone out, take my number”. Then he asked, will you come back at all [from your trip]?
I took this as in he was interested in me.
I sent him a text with my first name only. So I asked before we left the gym if he’d like to hang out before I leave state. He said, “I have to be transparent, I have a girlfriend but things have been rocky and I don’t want to cross boundaries. She has an PA exam in May and I’m waiting until then.” He also is moving to CO in the fall and already told her last week not to move out there for him.
Over the next two days, he made the first move to strike up convo at the gym. I asked why he gave me his number and he said, “I didn’t want to miss an opportunity if she and I break up.”
I told him I’d wait for him to text me to let me know if anything changes and I wouldn’t contact him to be respectful of his relationship.
He found my social media and looks at my stories but hasn’t followed me. I believe he visits his girlfriend on the weekend (yesterday and today) and he viewed my stories both days in the morning and evening. I also think he found out that I’m 5 years older than him.
They’ve been together for 7 years (17-25yo). They both have deep Christian faiths. Their parents were college roommates. They played coed sports together in HS.
Am I just a shiny toy, distraction, rebound?
He is interested in you and waiting to break up with his girlfriend
He’s bored in his relationship and you’re a shiny new toy
If he’s doubting the relationship 7 years in, that’s a bad sign
He’s a red flag, avoid
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Gym Crush gave me his number unsolicited, but told me he has a girlfriend after?
Probably the top one, guys will only try. Now it's up to you to set the boundaries, whether this develops into something more depends on how you play it. Being from a practising Christian background he should and probably will respect those boundaries.
I honestly didn’t read your post, but any man giving you his number in a relationship is a huge red flag. If he is willing to cheat with you, he will cheat on you/repeat the behavior
Sound advice is calling me a “hoe” when I said I didn’t text him after he said he had a girlfriend and I didn’t strike up convo? 👍🏼 Don’t be an assumptive asshole. I didn’t do anything wrong
Oh don’t act like you’ve never contemplated breaking up with someone. Doesn’t make someone a bad person. Usually people think “this relationship isn’t working out” and start thinking about what it’s like to be single and start dating again BEFORE they break up. It’s called listing pros and cons and deciding what is worthwhile. And that process goes for everything such as quitting a job and putting in applications to other jobs, interviewing, and accepting new jobs before quitting a current job. It goes for car shopping. It goes for anything. If someone wants to leave a person, they can. It’s called free will. So yes, I’m not pursuing him and waiting for a break up. And if that’s how it turns out, then that’s alright. And if they don’t break up, then it’s alright. 👍🏼
Does it matter? If someone doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me, they shouldn’t. And if my ex wants to date someone else even if I’m single, they should. If someone quits their job, are they not allowed to go out and find a new one? You act like because someone isn’t happy in a specific relationship, they’re not allowed to pursue another. That’s called insecurity. If he breaks up with her, then dates me or someone else, that’s not a promise to be there forever. You can’t make someone do something or be something just because you’re afraid of being hurt or lonely. Take responsibility for your own happiness and stop seeking it from others.
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