Search Results: are these feelings real

A few days ago I was talking on the phone with a close friend of mine from the last place I lived. I was telling him about this new girl I’m seeing and he asked, “Is she the only one?” I asked him what he meant by that.

He said that he was only telling me this because he “cared about me”. He said that not too long after I moved away, 1 girl I used to have feelings for had a gathering with him & several people to talk shit about me. They said I was too thirsty, the girls didn’t know which one of them I really wanted, & I didn’t make any of them feel special.

I lived in this city for 4 years & tried to get to know 5 different girls over time, not all at once. The girl who hosted this talk is the 1st I liked. She rejected me, I moved on.

The 2nd girl approached me first and made the first move. I talked to her 2 months after the 1st turned me down. The 2nd girl curved me & the 3rd girl approached me 3 months later. I talked to her until she popped up with a new boyfriend so I left that alone. 3 months after that, the 4th girl sat on my lap at a dinner party and we talked for 4 months before I even asked her out and when I did, she got upset because it wasn’t a group date then ghosted me. A year & a 1/2 went by until the 5th girl snatched my phone to take a picture with me and we talked until she was no longer interested.

While I was talking to each of these girls, I wasn’t talking to anyone else. My only focus was the current girl at the time. None of these girls are even close friends besides the 3rd and 4th girl.

Their ultimate conclusion was that they didn’t want to have the reputation of being “the 1st to give me some” or “the one I finally got”. My friend agreed with them, but he wasn’t acting like this when I was living there. He seems fake to me. Part of me is glad he told me, then the other part of me wants to cut him off for co-signing their bullshit. Is he real for telling me or did he stab me in the back?

There are a few times out of curiosity I’ve approached heavier girls and even though they were traditionally not very pretty there was something intangible about them I found attractive.

Surprisingly these girls were actually extremely bitchy when I gave them keen but innocent attention. The attention wasn’t sexual but of intense curiosity that might become sexual.

Anyway they got bizarre deluded sense of pride that they just had to play “hard to get”. Yet I would have no problem walking the second I felt a shit test happening. Admittedly attractive women are much more likely to get away with playing games with me (but I know where to draw the line). But it’s like a unattractive woman thinks that acting bitchy somehow puts her on par with the very pretty girls she is so jealous of.

I remember years ago I went to get a few drinks with a girl I didn’t find attractive at all. I’m not sure how it started by she ended up going mega bitch and saying something really nasty.

Then next day she messaged me and apologize profusely. She begged me for a second chance. I told her I felt better she apologized but I wasn’t interested in hanging out again. She sadly wished me best of luck and I did likewise.

But anyway why do these unattractive often self sabotage the few rare opportunities they do have to date a decent looking guy who gave them attention? Does the feeling of deluded pride of being “able to turn someone down because I think I am hot and have options” more satisfying then actually having a real tangible rare opportunity with someone?

I know no fat guy would turn down a woman who is a 7 or above. But why would a BBW woman turn down the same vice versa?