Guys, if you tell a girl you want to see them again at the end of the first date unprompted do you usually mean it?

[Anonymous]

... Or could it also just be a "polite parting"?

I would really appreciate some insights. After a string of first dates that didn't go anywhere or were just outright bad I'm feeling nervous after one I had Friday evening. I really liked the guy (we met on an app). Apart from a couple of short shy silences the conversation flowed really well, we laughed a lot and there seemed to be a real tangible "spark". He kept looking at me and beaming to himself: Both when we were just sitting and talking but also when I first took my jacket off, came back from the bathroom etc. He also complimented me on why he wanted to meet me from our chat, and things he liked about me etc. We went for a short walk, a drink then dinner. He didn't kiss me at the end of the date just gave me a warm hug. He did however say "he'd really like to do this again" and asked me to message him when home. I did send a brief message saying so, thanking him for a good time again and saying I hope he'd warmed up (it was cold out and also the restaurant left the doors open!) He first read and replied to the message early in the morning saying he'd crashed quickly, thanks etc but didn't reply to my message after that the rest of the day. Now I'm feeling a bit worried the "Id like to see you again" was just him trying to create a polite parting, especially combined with the no kiss. For context, before meeting he hasn't been a quick/frequent replier after the first batch of messages (he made contact first). I do think he's just not someone to be on his phone lots (he lives between 2 cities for work, first came back here a couple of days again and is mentioned he is catching up with friends etc this weekend). Not messaging me all of yesterday after one first thing in the morning is the longest gap though. I'm not sure what to think like perhaps messaging him when I got home looked too "keen" even though he asked me to!

[Anonymous]

In my opinion it’s too early to tell. Three day rule.

If the date was on Friday I wouldn’t text you again until Monday. There are many reasons for this. I won’t bother stating them, because I’m sure someone would find some problem with them. Even though they are “my” reasons lol.

For example, how do I know you don’t have another date the next day? It is the weekend after all and you’re an eligible, attractive woman. I don’t want to text and hear about an upcoming date or possibly interrupt you if you are on a date.

Nor do I want to text the next day and appear too eager or desperate.

If I really like a lady I’ll text on Sunday. Maybe. But Sunday is a little tricky. People go to church, some of them, or visit family for a meal. There is usually some big HBO show on or some gathering of people who watch Game of Thrones or something, why text and interrupt all that?

Plus, and this is something women really need to appreciate about men, the more we text, talk, communicate, the more you will analyze it, think about it, turn it over in your heads etc. This isn’t a criticism per se, just an observation. So it is often in men’s best interest to say little, and when you do communicate to keep it somewhat vague, open to interpretation. You’ll dissect what was said, how it was said, when it was said, and you even ask other people their opinions on what was said. Young women do this on GaG frequently, to the point of pasting screen shots of their texts between some guy they are seeing, soliciting opinions from strangers on the internet instead of deciding for themselves whether or not this man is worth their time and attention.

We know the more we give you, the more you’ll talk about it with friends and family. These are even more people we have to “win over.” And it’s only been one date.

So you text on Monday. You tell them again that you had a great date with them. You ask them how the rest of their weekend went (this is something you two can talk about and share) and all the while you hope they don’t say, “Oh I went out clubbing with some of my girlfriends. We went to this bar for a while then this club and danced for hours!”

Great. And how many guys hit on you while you were out looking hot?

Its sort of like that.

The not kissing you thing, I wouldn’t necessarily be bothered by that. I usually don’t kiss on the first date. I don’t know. It seems ungentlemanly. 🤷‍♂️

[Avicenna]

People do sometimes stay it when they don’t mean it or they do mean it before changing their minds. But usually they do mean it.

[Anonymous]

Guys will say anything. I let actions speak louder than words.

[spartan55]

Girls, do you mean it? Same deal.

[Asker]

For me personally: Yes. It's not like I was fishing for "feedback" or asked him if he wanted to. So I wouldn't just come out with that knowing I planned to later let them know actually I'm not interested which would make it seem odd. But I'm aware we're in times where many people have no intention of later letting the other person know but just ghosting anyway.

[spartan55]

Sometimes, mostly people just feel it's the polite way to end a date, then later they reconsider.

[Anonymous]

Yes!

[In_Trance]

of course