My boyfriend wants to "see me with a six pack"?

[Anonymous]

So I've been seeing this guy for about half a year now, and about two months ago, we started dating and became an official couple with the labels and all that jazz. A few weeks ago, I went to visit my sister out of the state, and my boyfriend called me up one night after having "a few drinks" (this is a common habit of his). We chatted about random stuff for a bit, and then, completely out of the blue he says, "I want to see you with a six pack." At first I thought I'd heard him wrong and hoped he had said he wanted to seem me "drink a six pack". To my complete astonishment, he repeated himself, and added on that I should be "ashamed of myself" that I don't have one and I'm 20 years old.

Now, I've been told by all my friends, and even their boyfriends that I'm skinny. I'll go ahead and say I'm 'average', and I'm not even close to having a six-pack. I do play sports and work out regularly though. I mean, it would be nice if I did have a six pack, and in fact, my stomach used to be something I obsessed over. I constantly compared myself to other girls, and in fact ANY girl that walked past me. It wasn't until recently that I got over it and started liking my body for what it was and feeling sexy in my own skin. Part of that was because I met him and he made me feel like a queen.

Hearing him say that he wanted to see a six-pack on me has completely torn me up, not only because part of me really DOES feel ashamed that I don't have one, but also because I wonder if he ever meant anything nice that he said about me and my body before. :-(

To finish off our conversation, he said that he thought I had "a f***ing hot body", that he was going to make dinner for me when I got back, and that he wished I were at home with him. When I got back, I couldn't figure out how to bring it up again, and he never did either. Lately, he's sort of hit a rut with his job, and despite what my friends have said about breaking up with him, I just can't to do it. I care about him a lot, and I want to be there to support him. ...But what does this conversation mean? He has called me before, completely intoxicated, and said some pretty hurtful things. Like one time he called me, hammered (possibly blacked out) from another state after his friend's bachelor party and told me about how he got free lap dances from strippers. Yet, when I'm with him, I feel like the apple of his eye, he's so sweet and a complete gentleman, and our sex-life is on fire...at least I think so. But is he secretly not attracted to me?

I've heard of instances where one person will ask their boy/girlfriend to go to the gym, usually if they are grossly obese and in danger of potential health problems. But I'd like to think I'm fairly active and athletic as it is it, I'm just not a size 0.

Does he really care about me? Or am I just being completely naive and refusing to see through his bullsh*t?

I guess it's time to ask the guys! :-(

[Cathrine]

That guy is just like my ex. lol. let me tell you something, someone who really likes you usually brings out the best of you, and pushes you forward. Not that they don't criticise, they do , but in a constructive way. he probably knows about your insecurities about your own body, so he should never say that in the first place. At least not that way...Some people often ditch other people because they're jealous and insecure, you know? I'll tell you a little about my story so you can take your own conclusions. my ex was not athletic, he was not a greek god, was not hot, was not very smart, was a dropout, wasn't good at anything. he sure had a big ego, but I think that was in fact insecurity. Then he used to point every kind of flaws on me, when other people had totally diff opinion ( that I was too good for him, and that's probably your friends opinion). You know how I know what he told me was not true? he cheated on me with girls who ( I'm sorry but it's a fact) didn't even have half of my qualities. That messed up my self esteem pretty bad, and I have scars today because of that. I never stood out for myself, demanding respect so he did what he want to me.he called me too when he was drunk telling he got blo*jobs from other girls...Now I hate to talk with drunk people! So I tell you...that guy does not valorate you the way he should, I'm pretty sure he doesn't deserve you, but don't let him have you on his hands...stand out for yourself, demand respect, tell him you like yourself the way you are and other guys apparently too, so if he's not satisfied, too bad for him. tell him to stop calling you when he's drunk, and oh, tell him to stop drinking so much, maybe he would have much better results at work. LOVE YOURSELF IN THE FIRST PLACE

[Asker]

My boyfriend is probably the complete of your ex based on your description, save for the big ego haha. He has never berated me in public, and not because he knows about my insecurities (I don't think he does). Like I said, when we're together, he's absolutely wonderful. There are just these isolated incidents on the phone that have me worried. Like they say, "Drunk mind, sober thoughts." Though I really appreciate you telling me your story and giving me advice. I need to work on being assertive.

[Anonymous]

Tell him that you want to see him with a d*** that's 3 inches bigger. If he has called you before and said insensitive things to you, this is a pattern. It's time to let the boyfriend know that you are not a guarantee and that you don't have to be with him. If he has a problem with you the way you are and disrespects you then you will leave him. If a guy thinks that you will be there no matter what and will always take his crap he will have no problem doing sh*t like that to you because he knows you won't go anywhere. If I were you I would either leave him or start taking new boyfriend applications behind his back and then dump him for another guy. He is not worth it.