Why do mediocre or below average men act like they have many options?

[Anonymous]

So i find a lot of these losers on OLD. one mediocre skinny guy even asked me out in real life then said he didn't feel the "spark." i know most of them on online dating apps just want to hookup and aren't looking for anything serious and are desperate to jump on the first woman that accepts their advances on the first date. but here's the thing: most of the guys on these apps are mediocre af or some even below average. If not mediocre, they are fat, balding, or have a horrible fashion sense. These aren't six pack men with a chiseled jaw and a six-figure salary. But they act like they are God's gift to the world and act super entitled, rude, and narcissistic.

Had one obese balding mother fucker with a 20-foot-long beard that called me ugly after I rejected him. And after 1 date with these mediocre scrawny short ass poor losers, they tell me they don't feel the "spark." Most of them tell me they don't feel the spark. Probably because i didn't jump on their neck and drop my panties after talking to them for 20 minutes. everywhere i look, i see a lot of the women looking put together, thin, pretty faces with model like bodies and their husbands or boyfriends are some fat ass balding old geezers. the fuck? what gives?

it seems like every 6/10 skinny loser with 0 muscle mass on dating apps thinks he deserves a barbie princess ballerina when he himself looks like a goddamn ogre that hasn't showered in a month. they judge you if you are 5 lbs fatter than they'd like you to be while they themselves being morbidly obese or scrawny skinny short dumb losers working minimum wage jobs. it makes me so mad when these losers act like they're a prize and then tell me they didn't "feel a spark" with me. like motherfucker, i am light years out of your league. you should be licking the crap off my shoes for even looking in your direction. hell at least hot men have a reason to be assholes, but mediocre or below average losers? what reason do they have to play hard to get?

Updates

3 mo

the quality of men these days is quickly declining and most of them have turned into frogs rather than princes. they want a free hooker instead of a life partner, have atrocious personalities to match their atrocious looks.

****sorry to the few decent men out there. I would like to remain hopeful that I will eventually find a good, decent guy who is somewhat intelligent and treats me well. just the assholes I've had the pleasure of interacting with over the past few years has really annoyed me

[Screenwriter]

The trouble is dating apps and online presences period. They are a giant Iron Curtain masking all kinds of flaws the people using them have.

A few years ago, I went online and advertised for an active man who like the outdoors and who lived nearby. I live in New Orleans. I got a few hits and went out with a few people who were OK. Finally met one pretty nice guy.

But the most striking case of mismatching was a man who lived somewhere in Mississippi, who explained he was wheelchair bound and was clearly looking for a woman who would be his nurse! I wondered how this man could've thought that someone who advertised for an "active, outdoorsy" partner would be looking for a wheelchair-bound man who needed a nurse?

The point is, what YOU want, has nothing to do with what the man answering the ad wants. THAT IS THE BOTTOM LINE. These kinds of men of myopic. Doesn't matter that you have wants, needs or preferences? It's ALL ABOUT THEM. They ARE entitled and think, for some bizarre reason, they are God's gift to the planet and to any woman whose ad they decide to answer.

These guys are simply throwing their spaghetti against the wall and seeing if it'll stick anywhere. If they answer 100 ads, none of which are looking for anyone like themselves, and only 1, ONE woman responds, they have succeeded.

I also had a guy who said he was 6 feet tall and weighed 300 lbs. For that selfsame dating app. I told him, quite honestly, that he had a serious weight problem and I hoped he got help, but I was looking for an active, healthy man to go out with...

AGAIN-- ALL ABOUT HIM!!! It was what was attractive to HIM... What I found attractive had nothing to do with his response. So remember this. Take it to heart.

When you find someone who pays attention to his own needs as well as yours, you'll find someone valuable.. A lot of frogs to avoid. Sad to say, many frogs believe they are princes... Must be wonderful to live deluded!

So, don't feel bad. Many men are completely selfish and blind.

[SphynxUK]

Those blokes are nice, saying they don’t feel a spark. What they really mean is you are an arrogant, self entitled piece of work they want no piece of. Your poor parents!

[JacobJordan]

My goodness off reading your rant and chain of insults sent at so many men I can't say I am all that surprised they didn't feel a spark you got some hate in you. Now as you seem to be aware that most of the guys on dating apps want a hook up I guess the question is why are you still using a dating app? I met my wife in person she worked at a restaurant I went their for lunch saw her thought "wow she is gorgeous" didn't want to rush things so I waited 2 months I did eat their everyday so I could see her and chat with her. Then I asked her out. Why not look for a guy in person? Perhaps it is the location you are searching that isn't great? Don't know your habits but based on language and speaking pattern I would gather you don't frequent the most healthy of venues in your off time. My point is you have preferences which is fine. You don't need to insult and degrade so many people to try and prove your point. If you want a good guy go where the good guys are. If you want a guy that treats you well go where they are. You will find one eventually...

One small detail

you have to be a good woman first though so if you aren't then no good guy will ever be with you. Anyways I wish the very best in your search

[Asker]

wow, took you 2 MONTHS to even approach your wife? wow. so i guess i should get a part time job at a restaurant and hope that one of the regulars will be brave enough to ask me out after 5 months or so. i get what you're saying and you seem like a nice guy, but i am so over this bullshit. most men in real life already have some woman with them. it seems like single men never leave their house. the only available ones are the mediocre fuckboys online who think they are far more attractive than they are. when i don't want to go to a hotel with them on the first date, they no longer "feel the spark."

[JacobJordan]

Takes time to make sure your feelings are feelings and not just being horny. I didn't want to jump the gun if I only felt the way I felt cause I was very attracted to her. So yes I waited because I wanted to make sure my feelings were not lust. While I get your point I would ask you to consider how you are talking about people. Now if you came across a post online and saw some dude shitting all over women and "how dare they think they can get a good man when they some loose sluts who trying to settle down" or whatever it is shitty guys say would you think "huh maybe I, not being one of those women, should give them a chance" I would presume you wouldn't and you would be disgusted (rightfully so I might add) I am simply saying that while everything you said is largely true there is a more tactful way to say it without also repulsing potential suitors. As for where single guys are if not home. Likely at work, or at the grocery store, park, waterfront etc. It is certainly possible to meet guys in the real world. I get your frustration I really do just don't let the shitty people close you off to finding something you want. It may take time but you will get there

[aceleon]

i could agree with all of the things

short (even though relative) bald, fat or scrawny, can get it, generally unattractive? i could get it but once you talked about money and acted like a narcisstic bitch you lost me here.

no one needs to lick the crap out of your shoes, just like they are nothing special you are not either just an average or below average chick you can find everywhere and even if you were a smoking hot chick with a personality like this only a cuck would stay with you after a hook up.

also what do you have to actually offer to any guy let alone a hot one? sex? sex is one of the easiest things people can find these days we don't live in 1800s.

really, for a girl who complains about guys acting narcisstic and entitled you are just as much fit the bill if not more.

you think they don't deserve you so let me ask you, do you genuinely believe you deserve a hot stud, with six packs, face of a greek god, smells like heaven to you, dresses like the absolute chad he is, has a 15 inch dick in his pants that can go for 10 round a night without taking any break and lasts hours every round (over exaggaration is intended)

[Asker]

i think i deserve a guy that is my equal. so makes decent money (at least 60k, which is my salary), decently attractive, and decent body. i'm not fat, i'm not ugly, and i am not stupid. yet so many men these days prefer hookups to anything serious. and i can see why a hot man would want a hookup, but even ugly and mediocre men with shitty jobs and shitty figures act like they're hot shit and deserve everything without offering anything in return. i am hot, which is why i can pull lots of hot men to ask me out but they get so damn handsy and always ask me to go to their place or a hotel afterwards. which is gross for a first date. then i try to downgrade and lower my standards since the hot assholes all want easy ass. i think a mediocre guy would have a nicer personality, but that is not the case. if anything, average and below average men are bigger assholes than the hot guys who only want sex because they are desperate to get laid. i am a bitch because i am fed up with the assholes i have met. maybe it's online dating that is shitty in general and i should try to be more active with guys i meet in real life. online dating is a swamp full of frogs and other swamp creatures.

[Asker]

and never said anything about "deserving" a hot stud with six packs and face of a greek god. i can pull of these type of men because they clearly wanna get in my pants right away. but i said i want something serious, so i lower my standards. i go for the mediocre average joe shmoes who flip burgers for a living thinking they may actually be decent men with good personalities, but most of the time they are even worse, ruder and more entitled than the Chads i date. sorry for expecting a decent human being that is somewhat attractive and treats me with respect. guess it is too much to ask for. of course when i date them i don't act like a crazy bitch. but they play shit games with me, play hard to get, play games. don't know why when they're nothing to holler about

[aceleon]

girl just think for a second? why would a man would go for online dating? someone he doesn't even knows, isn't it to obvious he wants to get laid? also not many man needs a reason to want anything serious cuz for us men in general doesn't havemuch to offer to us and not many girls are worth to gave up on everything we have for too little rewarding.

[aceleon]

also not asking if you can bed those hot stuffs i ask what do you have that would make them gave up on all the womans they can have for settling with you?

[Asker]

well, let's see. i have a good education, a good job making good money. i don't need to wear a lot of makeup or fake lashes to look good. i look younger than i am. i have nice clothes and dress well/stylishly and sexy without being slutty or cheap. i am a decent person and would not be a rude bitch to someone for no reason. i only become a rude bitch when someone is rude and mistreats me. i am not a vapid or dumb bitch. i like to think i am a decent person. i guess online dating is the problem and i need to try to meet men more organically. too bad most decent men these days are afraid to approach women or make eye contact.

[aceleon]

read what you write and realize that you didn't answer my question with any of the things you claim you have.
-your education level is irrevelant for most guys just like your income, we are not woman we don't look at money in girls. well i do actually but i'm a different case from most guyswhen it comes to my tastes in relationships.
- you beauty and such things comes down to sex and i ask again why would they gave up on rest of the other womans who has either your level of pretty or much prettier than you? beauty is not a reason for commitment.
- guys can't give any less damn about your senseof fashion if they are not the jealous type like me and only cares about you not dressing slutty, but how good your clothes looks on you is as unimportant to the guys as who won the who cares what war.
-decent person? sorry girl but even if you are a decent person it works only for guys who wants to settle themselves not to the guys who wants to fuck around.
my question still stands, why would a hot dude who can get with girls gave up on all of that for commiting you? what can you offer to him that the others can't?
and before you say it same goes for man too, i do agree with you, most guys doesn't have anything another guy can't offer but the gender who wants to settle down more is woman so answer the question accordingly since you are a woman too. why would they give up on other girls for YOU?

[Asker]

i don't think most women are primadonnas or have a helluva lot more to offer than i do. a lot of hot men (and the not so hot ones) just get bored easily and want a new shiny toy that they exchange once a week for an even newer toy. hell, even the super hot, wealthy, millionaire women get cheated on all the time by their husbands or partners. has nothing to do with what I have to offer, but with the nature of the disturbed man that doesn't want to settle down before the age of 90. so a good-looking guy won't care much about how hot, rich, or smart a woman is when he wants a newer shinier toy by the end of the week. can't really change the guy's mindset. but i am quite certain that i'll find a guy i am attracted to that is also decent. i just need to stop engaging with the swamp creatures on online dating apps/sites and need to start putting myself in more social situations to get to know more guys organically. these days most men are afraid to even make eye contact with a woman, so it'll be hard. but i think i can manage. just need to stop talking to the toads online and meet guys in person.

[aceleon]

you finally understanded what i actually meant, you as a woman don't have any initial value when it comes to guys and very few things can add to the level of value if he is not in the settling down mindset HİMSELF, rich or hot doesn't matter, even in it's most basic form a man's first instinct is spreading his genes as much as possible, it doesn't as important to us of how high qualitiy you are or high quality WE are, don't get upset about the law of nature, , instead let it go, go socialize like a normal human WİTHOUT expectations, as long as you expect something from life or from humans, you are doomed to fail and suffer, let things happens as they come, don't be desperate, don't settle down for the sake of it, settle down because you loved someone and they loved you in turn.

[Asker]

lol women don't have initial value to men? what bullshit. the future is looking rather sad for most men. i predict in the next few years, many women will become single mothers by choice and leave these "men" who fail to see value in any woman in the dust since these men are clearly low value and have nothing to offer a woman. a man's value comes from what he can provide in terms of protection, stability, safety, loyalty to a family. if he can't offer that or chooses not to, it will be a rather sad and lonely life for these men who don't want to settle down until their 60s. after 40, most hot women don't give a shit unless a man has six figures, is jacked, has a six pack, and can allow her to live like a pampered princess. the good women will be taken and only the gold diggers will remain to take advantage of these old men. so i guess these kinds of men who sleep around like whores until they're 60 and "ready to settle down" will end up single and childless since they didn't get their priorities straight when young. what a sad and lonely life that must be.

[aceleon]

what is sad is that you thinking settling down is happiness, really, giving up everything life has to offer for a pampered princess my ass and living like her financial servant is supposed to be happiness? do you even consider for a second that most guys reason for settling is just they want a regular lay and their own possesiveness that makes them commit so the girl (hopefully) won't go to other guys? sad and lonely? if anything marriage is sadder and lonelier, giving up your time with your family and friends for a shallow bitch who sees you as a credit card, family my ass you are a parasite.

[aceleon]

also you are the one who has nothing to offer, sex? even in old age the guy can go to prostitudes, own as much sex doll as he can buy or worse watch porn so i don't see an old guy getting sexually frustrated just because he is not married, if anything he would have a better sex life, instead of old average looking at best hag who is an average lay at best and probably witholds it for her manipulations, he can go and fuck a hot young ones whenever he wants and you can be sure as hell they would be cheaper than the leech he carries around, companionship? who wants a leeches company? a masochist? marriage is nothing more than masochism especially with girls like you, family and friends are the real companionship because they don't want anything back from you, they are not leeches they just want you around with them because they like you as a person not as an object, kids? adoption, pets, relatives or friend's kids etc, house chores? instead of some bitch dumping more than half of those in his shoulder he can make a relative or friend help him with that, can pay for someone to do it, get his fat ass up and do it himself in exchange for his freedom, so called desire for romance? let's assume it exists, he can always watch movies or read to sate it and fictional love is always the best one, cuz after the happy ending it ends, they don't deal with the gold digger bitches moods, endless expectations and foul mouthed naggings and her possible unfaithfullness.
now please do tell me, do you still see yourself and your kind as anything actually valueable for men? because to me you look even more dangerous than a Male-killing bacteria or tyranosaurus-starving parasite, man settles down because they are lazy and insecure not because you worth a damn.

[Asker]

you sound like such a frustrated incel. go suck your friend's dick, you're the parasite turd with dicks for brains. you have such a shit mentality to think women have no value beyond sucking your small below average wee wee. you're gonna be a lonely old geezer with the mentality you have. no one's gonna want your limp flacid tiny wiener. you really think you can pull off a hooker? well maybe, but she'll give you so many diseases. good luck with that. you sound like you really hate women. just a misogynist incel. and who the fuck says women are leeches? it's not the 1800s anymore, many women make the same money if not more than men nowadays.

[aceleon]

for the last time you damn misandryst, didn't you tell me that the only value of a man was providing? doesn't it make you or any woman who thinks like you a leech then? also incel thing got too old at the last century, if you are not living in the 1800s you need to find better than incel accusement, homophobia and small dick insults, none of them worths a shit nowadays and so are you, what i hate is creatures like you who attacks when they have nothing to come back and patheticly thinks being single is being lonely while most guys feels much more lonelier in their marriages, also beyond value? now i'm interested cuz appearantly you have something else to offer i didn't say can be gained from elsewhere in my previous comments, why not share that oh so valuable thing you have that any man caqn't get elsewhere from?

[Avicenna]

LOL, everyone knows who this is, despite the anonymity. Seeing how you express yourself here and how narcissistic you are, its' obvious why you can't get a boyfriend.

[Lionman95]

Lets face it nobody wants to be in a relationship with somebody just to be in a relationship. People are talking being mediocre down should remember the majority of people are mediocre that´s the point of that scale. The reasons guys tell you they don´t feel the spark might not be that they think they have options but because they don´t see a future with you.
I know it´s frustrating but probably guys could say about women. The problem of dating in m
odern days is that falling in love is hard. The majority of guy isn´t hot nor do they make six figures. They act like they have options because a person that is seen as pathetic by everyone else. Like no one wants to be that it´s the opposite of role model. So guys try to tell themselves they have the option to either date that woman or wait for someone else.

[Lionman95]

" ... because person that has no options is seen as pathetic by everyone else."

[Angelo75]

tldr intro.

But below-average-men will need some way of feeling better about themselves.
On the other hand it's a simple statistical thing.
If there is a group, there will be always some that are statistically above the average, some inside the average and some below the average.
No matter how hard everyone tries, all you'll get is that the collective values just shifts upwards.
But there will always be some below-average, average and above-average.

Thing is, self-value doesn't come from being average.
It comes from realizing that we're humans and "as a collective" we are valuable in the sense that we have enough variations.

If everybody was the same, life would be very very VERY dull.

[ByronWolf]

Recently divorced and haven’t started dating at all yet probably won’t for another couple months. With that said in talking to people that are in the dating world it is mostly about fucking now and not really saying or courting each other. We will see in the future. Last time I dated I did have a six pack and in great shape. I truly believe if you want to start dating and be in a relationship outside of hooking up both parties need to have honest conovs about what they want out of the date or relationship prior to even going down the first date road. I may be old fashioned but that is the approach I will be sticking with, maybe it won’t work. Hopefully it will.

[Anonymous]

Do you do a lot of dating apps? I guess I’m wondering what the main way is for you to meet guys? I know guys that do the dating apps and while not all of them are completely disgusting, they definitely are just looking to get laid. Not a good way to find someone to actually date.

[Asker]

true, dating apps are such a shitshow. don't even know why i bother. i should try to go out to more social events or meetups. it's annoying because most of the decent guys i meet in real life already have girlfriends lurking nearby. it's like the only single ones are on tinder.

[Opinion Owner]

I never did any but my wife did with the best of intentions but was left with the same impression as you. I really couldn’t tell you where to go to meet someone.

[SotiCoto]

Hypocrisy, ladies & gentlemen.

This isn't a problem of just men. Both men and women are presented with people from all over the world marketed as a potential dating pool, then seem surprised when most of them won't even give them the time of day. It makes everyone believe they have better chances than they do, and so they are quicker to criticise, less inclined to invest of themselves in anyone, and go through the dating process like picking out vegetables at the supermarket.

If you find yourself constantly pestered by ugly men and nobody else, that is probably just what you deserve.

[Asker]

no, i get lots of hot men who want to go to a hotel with me on the first date, but that's not what i am looking for. if i were some fat, ugly morbidly obese bitch they wouldn't be chasing my ass asking me to meet them at hotels. but i am not some cheap whore, so i lower my standards hoping that mediocre fuglies will have better personalities. they don't. usually worse than the hot guys. at least the hot men are honest about their intentions and tell you exactly what they are looking for. the mediocres and the fuglies act like they are morally superior and like they are looking for something serious, but then get all pissed when i tell them i don't want to go to their place after and be their bangmaid or that no, i don't want to be a stay at home mom and quit my job.

[SotiCoto]

Some guys are desperate. It is a shame their desperation is artificially inflating your ego.
And sure. You're "not some cheap whore". You're an expensive whore... and that is worse.

[Asker]

lol, expensive whore. i don't need anyone's dirty money. i can make my own because i have a brain and am capable of putting it to good use. as for the desperate men, wow. didn't know hot men were desperate. if they could easily get sex left right and centre, don't know why'd they'd bother trying to pursue me and convince me to go to their place. probably because they find me a more attractive option. and wow, some men are just so mad at facts and truth. they don't want to hear that. sorry to have hurt your fat friend's feelings. he was only looking for a bang maid after all. i should have been kinder to his ego.

[TheSpaceGnome]

You: "sorry to the few decent men out there. I would like to remain hopeful that I will eventually find a good, decent guy who is somewhat intelligent and treats me well."

Me: I mean ok, but your personality is horrible, I and most other guys just aren't going to want someone that judgy and cynical. What makes you so special that you think you are worth persuing? You just sound like an entitled brat with self esteem issues. If you want to be treated well, then you have to learn to treat people well.

[Asker]

lol. how the fuck you know my personality based off of one post? i am a nice person in real life and i treat these mediocre fuglies respectfully, but they get all sad when i tell them i don't want to go to a hotel with them on the first date.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Your post is very telling of your personality, as is your reply.

[patrick994]

if I can give you some advice avoid dating apps and try to meet a guy in real life.

[Asker]

yeah but how? all the guys in real life are literally ALWAYS with some woman near them. it's so annoying. like single men never leave the house.

[patrick994]

have you tried going to clubs or gyms? It is much easier to find single men, especially in gyms or swimming pools too.

[Billlewis]

This is one of the best questions I've seen in quite a while. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing the responses.

[LiamJHayden]

Because there are over four billion women on the planet so even if 95% exclude certain guys that still leaves over 200,000,000. I am a good example, as I am fit but average looking and I have dated some spectacular women because I am fun, have no fear of approaching, and do not get discouraged because I do not fit a random woman's preferences.

[Asker]

well at least you're fit and not morbidly obese expecting a princess.

[LiamJHayden]

I only requires that she not be obese and that she adores me.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Based on your description, you didn't feel much of a spark either, so why does it bother you if they politely say the same?

[dudeinohio]

You seem angry and definitely have a bad attitude. Definitely unattractive.

I'm ready for the insults you will surely hurl. at me.

[Asker]

well, i am actually quite a nice and rational person when i am not insulted and mistreated. so i will not insult you because you did not insult me. i only turn into a bitch when people are rude to me and mistreat me when all i do is try to be a decent person.

[dudeinohio]

OK. Well, I honestly wish you the best.

[Angxl3120]

Thats how some people are, they can't accept the rejection.

[NamerOfStars]

Sour grapes don't look better when you lie about them.

[zagor]

So what do YOU have to offer? Why would a hot, well-off man want to be with you?

[Asker]

i'm hot, which is why hot men always want to fuck me. even the mediocres and fuglies want to sleep with me but get all sad when i tell them i don't want to go to a hotel with them. i have a great job, make great money, and am intelligent. i am also a nice person in real life, but of course when i deal with assholes i no longer have any reason to be a nice person.

[Staximus]

Well I'm old, short, fat, bald, and broke so you can rule me out now haha. I don't do online dating because half the women are... Crazy as hell and looking for Mr. Perfect

[Nikki1989]

Like I always say, read the comments many men post on here, and you will see why they are single and probably always will be.

[Anonymous]

If all the guys you meet are assholes, then why can't you figure out how to meet a different kind of guy?

[Anonymous]

"I would like to remain hopeful that I will eventually find a good, decent guy who is somewhat intelligent and treats me well". Walk by me again, please. I must have have my head down and missed you. xo

[OddBeMe]

Because they do. This world has been the average man’s oyster by design.

[Asker]

lol lol lol. sure they do.