Search Results: want more than dating

So there are a few people in my life, thankfully not many, who I have these multiple-years long conflicts with. We're talking like active hostility, they'll block me if I tried reaching out, that sort of thing. I've learned to just respect the fact they don't want to be in touch lol.

Now, me personally, I know what the conflicts are about, but I just don't see them as that big of a deal. Like the one conflict happened because the guy thought I was abusive to my ex girlfriend (I wasn't). Another happened with a girl I dated, who it turned out that she had a fiance and was dating me on the side. There's a conflict I had with two other ladies who had dated my friends, and who blocked me after the relationships ended. I'm sure there are others.

None of these people have any interest in interacting with me whatsoever and seem to be actively repelled by the idea, even years later. I guess I just don't see the big deal? Like I get that we aren't going to be friends, but we can't even engage in small talk and pleasantries? Some of these conflicts happened more than 5 years ago.

I realize that I'm probably more comfortable with confrontation than most people, but I feel like this isn't normal. Like, if you briefly dated my friend 5-7 years ago, we should probably be able to at least talk. I think the one where she cheated on her fiance with me makes a bit more sense that she wouldn't want to be in contact, but even that I just feel like replying to a message online isn't that big of a deal.

Am I missing something here?

I am 28, and I have had horrid luck with women my entire life. I have never had a real girlfriend before, and I have only had sex with one girl my entire life during a weekend fling/hookup over 7 and a half years ago. She was 16; I was 20. Both virgins at the time supposedly. She didn't want anything to do with me romantically after that weekend, and she was really a stranger I drove across state lines to meet.

The thing is, I am short in height at 5'6, on the Autistic Spectrum (Aspergers), and have a lot of social deficits. I still live at home and recently lost my decently-paying job. My normally homeless friend has better luck with women than I do.

I am really wanting a woman that has never had a romantic bond with another guy before, meaning no previous boyfriends or even a first love. I don't know if I will ever find that, and I may end up alone the rest of my life. I do like younger women a lot more, but I may be too old at this point. I feel may be lucky to even find a woman that has never been married or never had kids before, which I may be stuck with single moms and divorced women at some point.