Is there such thing an attractive man that also commits?

Question

Even though I'm still in early 20's, I don't want to wait too long to select the right man.

It seems that the only 2 choices to select are:

- Attractive men that just know exactly what actions and words needed to seduce us. They may succeed but in the end it's a failure. They will either use us for sex, lie about wanting kids or keep us as a childless live-in girlfriend for 6+ years, wasting our reproductive years. Cads.

- He's either average or still cute but the woman feels like dating a great companion more than a romantic partner. He might even be bookish and this topics can be about his usual daily routines or he's a bit awkward. Or he's like a Jon Arbuckle type from Garfield. He'll give the woman commitment and kids but she's not sexually attractive to him nor feels passion.

The ideal, perfect man would be one that's attractive, we're in love him, can be booksmart, is a seductor but also gives us commitment and kids. Can a man fit all of that and still commit? Or are those two options the one men available nowadays?

suzzieQ · Accepted Answer

Oh yeah, absolutely. My father is a great example of that.

18Uma21 · Accepted Answer

The man who commits is attractive

jennifer_bloom · Answer

Men usually marry women equal to themselves in beauty or intelligence or personality.

Datboi65 · Answer

See my friend, I think you have hit this realization earlier than most women. Bravo 👏🏾

Women seem to think that they can have it all, and that's not true at all. Men are generally more realistic in our assessment, and most men don't date out of their league. Women want guys out of their league, but they also want said guys to commit to them. Spoiler alert: never ends well.

An attractive man will still talk to a woman that is below his level of attractiveness, but don't expect anything serious. They tend to pick women who are their level to settle down with. This is why I tell women that if you want a top man, make sure you are a top woman yourself. That means you have to compete with all the other women and come up on top, because not everyone can be a top woman. If everyone was rich, the currency value would depreciate and that will cause inflation. Same with dating, if all women became more attractive, the standard will just change to a new normal. Lucky for you, not all women want to put the work, so if you work harder than them at making yourself more presentable, you will do better, but also be realistic.

Average men on the other hand are the majority. That means you have more of a chance of getting an average man over an attractive man with lines of women waiting. Average man are important because they are your bankers, plumbers, electricians, accountants, maintenance workers, truck drivers, finance managers and store owners. If these men are to be childless, society will cease to exist. Powerful men need average men to work for them, so they will have to make sure they are happy. If women think these men aren't good enough to mate with, then they deserve everything that comes with it, all the cheating and lies from a man with more options who didn't care from the jump.

Average women dealing with elite men cannot expect commitment, and most of the time even the attractive women themselves can get cheated on. Rich and successful men are more likely to step out of their marriage, but their wives are less likely to leave. Why? Because a lot of the time there's an understanding that an abundance of resources and options does not mean that the man is going to leave his wife to be with another woman permanently, even if he wanted to sleep with another one. That poses an interesting question though. Would you rather be someone's number one, or someone's number 3001? I will leave that up for you to decide.

Bellona · Answer

Are you suggesting that a less attractive man is almost always, or always in this scenario, not sexually attractive? If so, that means you do not fully romantically love the man; if you did, sexual love should be as strong. (to add i just re read what you wrote and it seems you would consider being with someone who is just a great conpanion? Marriage or a (romantic) relationship is always based on romantic love, and you can find romantic love in non physical attractive attributes, like their personality?)

Also, your 'ideal' man can be commonly found in churches, and they usually want women who are of their religion and share the same values/morals.

Furthermore, if you are looking for a husband and do not want to waste time, it is good to be direct about what you want in a relationship on the first date. Eg a husband, or children... if a man agrees with you, he won't be intimidated because he is looking for the same, and the man you don't want or doesn't want you based on your words would feel intimidated and would not be interested in pursuing a relationship.

mickmrly · Answer

There is such a thing as attractive men that commit, but both of those traits are uncommon. Most people are average and commitment is not very common these days, heck my cousin hasn't even gotten married yet and she's had two kids with a guy. What he's waiting for I don't know. So you are searching for two uncommon things, which makes the combo rare indeed.

I commend you for not wanting to be stuck as a childless love in girlfriend , that is such a waste of time for both people involved, and I don't know why people keep that going for so long. Later on, your line "The ideal, perfect man" is probably setting yourself up for unrealistic expectations though. No one is perfect in every way, no man or woman. For instance you could marry an attractive nerd that lives in his moms basement and is willing to settle down with you, which would technically fulfil your main criteria but then you could have some issues with his living situation. You are looking for good things, but sadly they are rarer then they should be these days.

AdithyaR · Answer

You seem to be thinking on extremes. People aren't black and white, there's a lot of grey areas.
There's all sorts of men and if you convince yourself that there's only two kinds of men, you're gonna closed off from seeing depth in any of them. Keep your mind open.

Secondly, the whole thing about selecting a partner as soon as possible. I understand the feeling, we've all been there. But rushing it is not gonna get you anywhere, in fact might impede your progress. Finding a partner is a very random thing and can sometimes take time, you gotta be willing to let it take time if needed.

inhua · Answer

"attractive" is subjective. "commitment" is objective.

the "ideal" man is extremely rare and every woman is out there competing for him while every guy is being ignored. the "ideal" man has all the time to all the options to pick from so for you to get him, you really need to stand out from the others which can be difficult if not outright impossible.

there's plenty of guys out there who internally meet the requirements for the "ideal" man but lack the external qualities necessary i. e. looks, money, status. often they face rejection before getting a foot in the door so really you'll need to decide on your true priorities are.

MrOracle · Answer

If you are talking about the top 10% men, then you need to realize that it is EXTREMELY rare for them to commit to anyone - and in the rare instance they do, it's going to be a certified top 10% woman - and often they still cheat (or "have an understanding").

The idea that a woman who is not a solid 9.5 or higher (as in, she has been randomly stopped by scouts and offered a modeling contract or something similar) getting a commitment from such a guy is delusional and represents a complete lack of understanding of the bigger picture. Those guys have a dozen girls a day throwing themselves at them, and so they can afford to be extremely picky.

And, yet, these are the only men that most women even notice and the only ones that they will date. That's why they think all men are dogs - it's because all the top 100 men are dogs.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

I'm the first type. Since I get lots of women, I expect a spectacular woman. Average does not suffice. So I have a girlfriend and here's her stats:

Body count: just me

Age 16 years younger than myself so 20 now but 18 when we met.

Tits 32DD and a nice ass, long hair and cute face.

Cooks excellent she can make many different cultures cuisines as well as keep things healthy, cooks fresh bread no store bought shit.

Massages me every day.

Dresses very feminine and beautiful.

Very sweet and submissive.

Bisexual asf and let's me fuck all her girlfriends.

So I mean let's be honest, would I consider a woman who isn't on this level? Hell fucking no. I can get any kind of girl I want, why would I not have exactly what I want?

RavVid · Answer

The white knight has always been a myth though it encapsulates what women want. High social standing, pots of money, brave and strong. Can rescue maidens from dragons then ravish her.

You know what? With three requirements you can achieve two but you will slip on the third. How often are projects completed with the functionality required, on time and on budget? Usually budget or time slips or both no matter how well project managed.

So you are wanting something that escapes most people, governments and private enterprise companies.

Of your requirements I think you are best off scaling back on being seductive. Lots of guys feel inhibited in freely expressing passion but once he figures out you're receptive he will feel liberated to do so.

On the final point of romantic love it is ephemeral. The honeymoon period doesn't last forever.

jshm2 · Answer

Yes but you're still a kid and don't know that there is more to men than you know now.

Someone being "attractive" has no bearing on personality, responsibility or companionship qualities.

I've met attractive and alluring women, and men, who are fucking boring to talk to and very unreliable. You need to learn that there are always tradeoffs in life.

You're not going to get a cheap car that looks great and runs great, for example.

Anonymous · Answer

We’ll my boyfriend has commitment issues, we haven’t met family yet , don’t live together. But he never leaves my life. We date , go on trip vacation, gets me gifts, visits my apartment , shop at store together. Talk daily of our lives , helps me with anything I need. He feels like my partner. But it would be hard to comitt to a guy you aren’t attractive to. I was thinking to myself other day, I can’t commit to random guy I’m not attractive to & marrry have kids have intamicy have whole new life easily. You need pasión be attractive to guy u love and want spend life with. Maybe you can’t have a perfect man. & is not realistic unless u are super lucky. I can’t sleep with a man I’m not attracted to or make babies. I just can’t.

Anonymous · Answer

Well considering there are thousands of men who meet that description who get married every year, the answer is obviously yes. The question really is, why are you not able to attract and keep one like other women do? My suggestion to you is to do teh following:

1) Educate yourself on what good men actually want in a woman. Most women today get that wrong.

2) Do some serious soul searching about what you bring to the table as a woman. Are you a high value woman (by men's standards)? If not, what are you lacking, and can you increase your value? If you can't or are unwilling to, what makes you think you are deserving of a high value man?

RiseofArtemis · Answer

So you want to get only maybe 1% of men? While ignoring all the others? Lady you are gonna be single with that mindset. Forget about looks this Instant and look for character of a man. Looks fade with age and a good looking man who knows he can ger girls won't comit to one only. Western Woman mentality is gonna keep you single and childless.

Modern society caused this and it will be it's downfall.

Adam1978 · Answer

The few that exist is taken quickly and probably will be trashed by some unworthy women. And then they won't be that guy any longer. So yeah the nature of today's dating makes them extinct. And it's not the mens fault. It's the mistreatment of men and every one that does it.

Dinklex3 · Answer

There are plenty of attractive, sweet, committed men that just want love. At least in my opinion. Looks are subjective though, i don't know who you find attractive.  But i see them all the time.

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

Yes, I've seen it 😉... The sigma... Good news is they don't have a type.. She doesn't necessarily need to be that good looking or intelligent.. She even can be older.. They just choose a girl who they connect with... Bad news is that they're very rare and hard to find...

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

That exists, but are you attractive to any of the ones you will find? Attraction is relative, some guys like cute women, others hot women, others pretty women, some even like what most consider ugly women. You're hobbies also matter, or maybe they don't.

If you find him, but he's not into you, then it won't work and you have to keep looking, but never settle.

genericname85 · Answer

sure. but the few men that women find very attractive have all the choices in the world, so they don't have to commit like all us average joes that no woman wants but eventually settles on anyway, cause all the high value men are out of reach xD

Friendlybro79 · Answer

I'd say the same thing to a man who wrote to the same point about a woman. Looks don't last forever. I get that attraction is important but finding a good person is so number 1. Someone you can laugh with and have fun with and want to be with.. Good luck

letuswaltzforthedead · Answer

Yeah, I wouldn't only limit it to guys. I think it's the same for everyone where the most attractive people usually dont have the best personality or goals in mind. They may be more insensitive or lack commitment as you mentioned.

Is there such thing an attractive man that also commits?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Is there such thing an attractive man that also commits?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.