Search Results: drives guys away

I met a guy online YEARS ago, and when we 1st met, we were very much in love with each other, considering we were kids. We were dating for a few months online (lived 3 hours away, but he didn't have a car to visit, and I felt uncomfortable with the drive), so we never saw each other physically besides video calls/pics. I met a guy at my undergrad school and dropped him to pursue that relationship. But we have contacted each other at least once a year since the initial split to catch up. Each time I would hear from him, he would be with another girl while I was in the same relationship. He joined the military, and I was very excited to hear from him after he was finished because I still had feelings for him.

After he left boot camp, he informed me that he was stationed across the world without a choice and that we would figure out how to communicate best since there were time differences. Around this time, my dad passed, so I was in a bad mental state, but we were planning on seeing each other since he was going to move to a different location shortly while I was going to the same city for a school conference. He disclosed that he cheated on me with another girl by getting her pregnant (miscarriage), and he couldn't see me as promised due to military circumstances. I was devasted and told him never to contact me again. I spied on him via social media to see what he was up to, and he got engaged to another girl.

Recently, he kept popping up on my social media, and I decided to message him at the beginning of this month to check-in. He was thrilled I reached out. He told me that his engagement had been canceled, disclosed that he loved me, and said he'd pay for my flight to see him physically. I got weird vibes about it all since he didn't fully close the ex-fiance chapter and even had sex with her while we were discussing our future. I cut it off yesterday because he did not show that he changed. Do you think I did the right thing?

Sorry if this is confusing, but I (24f) and my guy friend, let’s call him Jake (23m) have been friends a few years, and our relationship has always been complicated. He can be a real jerk to our friend group (he tends to blame this on being autistic), but he’s always let his wall down around me. I first thought he liked me when he started going out of his way for me; like offering to pick me up from work since I don’t drive, or going to workout classes with me, for example. And then again, when we were watching one of our shows, and I curled up under a blanket on the opposite side of the couch and he asked to share, and put his arm around me. Although, he moved after 5 mins.

But what has me believing this is what happened at our group friendsgiving on Friday. First of all, during dinner he tried to take my drink, and then I told him to ask me for a sip, which he did. Then we were discussing his dating life as a group, and then he said something like “I wouldn’t sleep with (insert my name), but I wouldn’t mind second base” and winked at me. Then, we were all talking on the couch, and I was tired, so I told him to move so I could elevate my feet. He told me to just put them on him, then he proceeded to wrestle me off him. He also took my drink out of my hand to drink from it, and then, while I was talking, hugged me.

Later, all the friends were on my balcony, and when we started to go inside I noticed Jake hanging back, so I asked if he was okay, and he said he held himself to too high of a standard, and he said he felt bad pushing me away because he liked talking to me and that it was easy to talk to me. There was a weird tension between us, and I mentioned I hadn’t seen him in a while so I missed him. He said something snarky, but then admitted to missing me too.

All of our friends thought there was something up. He’s also going to a football game with me alone that he originally declined because no one else could go. I feel like he likes me, but I don’t know.