A guy from my past resurfaced recently, an old friend that I had brief “stage” with, I don’t even know what to call it. About a year after my breakup with my ex, this friend would occasionally message me flirty things and then we ended up sleeping together. I told him I had feelings for him but he said he didn’t, and we agreed to keep it friendly as I was moving anyway. We didn’t stay in contact but I moved back last year and now he’s the one that lives far away, about 3 hours. My feelings for him never changed but I respected that he didn’t have any.
Anyway he started messaging me again recently and I don’t know if this is the right thing to do but I’m nervous to show too much interest and push him away so I haven’t. He said something about taking me to a movie where he lives but he didn’t exactly ASK me so I didn’t say yes or anything. So then a little bit later he said he wants to come see me instead. I was surprised but said if he wanted to drive that far he can, and he said yes. But then we didn’t make any plans because he ended up leaving me on read and hasn’t followed up. This was yesterday, now it’s Monday and I know he’s got work and he’s busy and everything but it’s got me anxious about his intentions or his seriousness on if he’s actually coming to see me.
I’m scared about reaching out, coming on too strong, etc because I don’t want to push him away. Our relationship has been rocky the last few years and we’ve had our ups and downs and unfortunately it has made me constantly unsure of where we stand. I don’t want to be rejected by him yet again. I REALLY want to see him. My male friend said I didn’t sound interested and that made him think I’m not, but I don’t think I came off uninterested. I guess looking back, I could’ve though. Does he really want to see me? Why? As friends or something else? Why hasn’t he followed up?
Anyway he started messaging me again recently and I don’t know if this is the right thing to do but I’m nervous to show too much interest and push him away so I haven’t. He said something about taking me to a movie where he lives but he didn’t exactly ASK me so I didn’t say yes or anything. So then a little bit later he said he wants to come see me instead. I was surprised but said if he wanted to drive that far he can, and he said yes. But then we didn’t make any plans because he ended up leaving me on read and hasn’t followed up. This was yesterday, now it’s Monday and I know he’s got work and he’s busy and everything but it’s got me anxious about his intentions or his seriousness on if he’s actually coming to see me.
I’m scared about reaching out, coming on too strong, etc because I don’t want to push him away. Our relationship has been rocky the last few years and we’ve had our ups and downs and unfortunately it has made me constantly unsure of where we stand. I don’t want to be rejected by him yet again. I REALLY want to see him. My male friend said I didn’t sound interested and that made him think I’m not, but I don’t think I came off uninterested. I guess looking back, I could’ve though. Does he really want to see me? Why? As friends or something else? Why hasn’t he followed up?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Okay, so bear in mind I don't know you at all, but this answer is based on what you wrote. None of this is personal and please don't read it in a context where you might feel its some kind of personal criticism, but I'm going to be bluntly honest based on how I see what you wrote.
Short version: Don't waste your time on people who just want to see you for sex.
Longer version:
So, if someone truly cares, you don't need to play games like "not coming on too strong" (though they might politely warn you when you do to, "hey ease up; where not there YET"). Also, if the guy is feeling a girl is coming on too strong its probable their not the committing type and also likely their not with you for who you are as a person (which I would say is bad, but I respect whatever position you choose for yourself).
"I told him I had feelings for him but he said he didn’t, and we agreed to keep it friendly"
Guys have a term for this type of behaviour from a girl, it's called "being a doormat" and it's never a good thing; Whilst guys don't enjoy the other extreem either "the bitch", on the whole their more likely to be serious and respect the bitch vs the doormat (though ideally a girl should be somewhere in the middle).
Again, I'm not saying necessarily you ARE one, but what your writing is suggesting towards you being far too keen to please this guy without respecting yourself. Again, I'm a stranger so I only know what you wrote here and maybe I've misunderstood you).
Best of luck, hope whatever you hope for turns out for you *bow*