Search Results: Do guys only want sex

27F, I’ve officially come to terms with the fact I’ll end up alone. I’ve been on and off the apps for years, I really don’t think I’m that unattractive but the dating apps have indicated otherwise. I get a good bit of matches and guys reach out, it always either dies out or it isn’t reciprocated from the guy or I. I’ve tried almost every app, paid and free. I have one app installed, there was one time last year where I deleted the app for 6 months. Currently, I swipe on profiles maybe every other week or reply to messages 2-3 times per week. I don’t have friends so the apps are my only avenue considering I’m a homebody. I do know they work for some though, people have said I’m cute/attractive etc but guys never approach me in person. I used to purposely hold back and try to play hard to get, now I’m at the point where I have to force myself to open the app and remember to reply to this guy and so forth. I don’t want kids, id be down to get married but really worry about the reality that id have to be sexual knowing guys urges and so. I am not sexual, I haven’t had sex or masturbated in years. Maybe the right guy will change that?
Also, certain things about guys kinda turn me off, almost every guy I’ve known including my dad who I’m close with has dickish/macho tendencies and I don’t have patience for it lol.

TL;DR: does it sound like my dry spell/bad luck with dating apps stem from lack of interest? Or am I bitter?

My boyfriend and I have been together for the last 3+ years and we have had our fair shares of ups and downs. It’s still somewhat difficult to be in a relationship with him because he tends to keep the same unhealthy patterns going even though we have went to couple’s counseling about it.

Background: we met during undergraduate school when I was a junior and he was a freshman. I am currently enrolled in graduate school now, not working whereas he started his career after graduating in May.

The problem is that he lives 3 hours away from me and doesn’t like driving to a big city which is only a hour away from me to visit me. He prefers if I drove to him which I have done before but it costed me a lot anxiety driving and waking up early hours to hit the road to see him.

the last time he visited was because his friend had made a plan for a double date thing where he couldn’t really cancel. We went and he was worried about his finances the whole time. Then, we had sex in my car since he wanted it and didn’t finish me really. When I asked for him to do so, he claimed I was too “sweaty” now and didn’t want to do that. I was very upset since I felt used and he felt bad about it later as well.

recently, I was having back problems and asked him to help pay for my office visit since I was avoiding to go because didn’t have health insurance and he kept pushing me to schedule it. He said he would send money but kept asking if I could help in any way and I said “no hence why I asked you, you’re my last resource.” He didn’t send the money and I had to put it on my credit card which would be hard to pay off since my graduate program doesn’t allow me to work while in school. I’m not sure but I feel like I’m in the rude one when I just want him to do what he said he’d do and pursue me like how he’s supposed to. I tried to confront him about it but he kept apologizing and still didn’t send any sort of money to help. I just don’t know what to do.

I created a dating profile 3 weeks ago to get some confidence since I was going through an insecure time, wasn’t really looking for anyone. Some men messaged me, but one guy stood out. He gave off this “I come as is” vibe which struck a cord with me for some reason so I exchanged socials with him to remain contact and deleted the app. Time continues and we’re talking every day, and things are going great.

He disclosed that he had to join the army right out of high school since he had gotten his then-girlfriend pregnant and now has a baby girl. He just started working a full time job and plans to go to a community college to earn his degree whereas I’m in graduate school with no kids. I understood him and we continued to grow from there. Then, the other night, I told him to visit me (we live 2 hours away from each other, and I requested that we meet in the middle so drive isn’t too bad).

He disclosed he didn’t have a paycheck from his job yet but would only need about $40 for gas. I paid for his gas, food, and toy for his dog while we hanged out the following day. He then asked me what particular app we met on since he had over 5 that has been used for over a month. He stated that girls would talk for a couple of days then leave, but I never left so he deleted them all (or he claims). He had a very neutral decision on sex like “if you want it, sure. If not, it’s fine.” But we ended up having sex anyway because I was very smitten with him at that time.

I asked if we were together as boyfriend/girlfriend since the first date went great and he said he likes me but not ready for that yet since he wants to know me more (even though I told him I’m an open-book) and wants to go on more dates. I agreed since I didn’t really have a choice and now after a day has passed, he isn’t really talking to me much and doesn’t seem interested anymore like leaving me on read. I’m not sure what to do because I spent over $100 on the date and was hoping he’d help pay some of that back.