Search Results: get my boyfriend back

I didn't want to ask about this becouse im a bit ashamed of it, i just scared it with some people in DM's but i want some opinions on this.

I found out some messages of my ex with other girls i didn't know. They were talking about going to date, kissing and some dirty talks. He even went out with some of them.

I was mad so i confronted him but his reaction got me even more furious. He told its none if my business and he can do whatever he want and then even told me im a whore becouse i also meet other guys (he was talking about some guys i know from gym or bjj club but i never meet with them outside of the gym/club).

I got furious and pushed him to the wall, he pushed me back and then i hit him in the face. He fell down and i have him some more beating before leaving him in the appartment.

I know i shouldn't have done this, but is it at least understandable?

So my dad saw me at his home 6 months back and hit my boyfriend coz he thought we both had sex and my dad said him to have sex with me after marrying me. Now after this, my boyfriend stopped having sex with me since 6 months, but we met outside. He cheated on me on weekends but never broke up with me - I saw his phone where he downloaded bumble and also when I asked him to show me his phone, he hid from me. He never used to hide anything like his phone or laptop from me before. But he always told me that he loves me, never cheated on me and waited for me at the station for 30 minutes just to meet me post work and he kept telling me that I should trust him blindly and not ask him to check his phone coz it hurts his integrity. I got one number while checking his phone and I asked her on WhatsApp. That girl showed me call logs of long conversation with him ( this time when I was sure of him ignoring me) she said that he was looking for casual sex for which she denied and blocked him. I confronted my boyfriend and asked him and he said me that he can't have sex with me so he asked her ( coz my dad hit him). I never denied him to have sex with me but he always denied me when I asked him for sex, saying he respects my dad and won't have sex with me before marriage. Since I was sexually deprived and frustrated, I cheated on him after the day he hid his phone from me. And I slept with 3 different guys. And I also told him that I love him and am monogamous. Right now he is in his hometown to fight for me for marriage and he always said me that I'm his long term girl. Since I also slept with guys hookups, I don't feel sad or guilty anymore. He said me we will court marry if his parents disagree our intercaste marraige. I may times told him to block me and he kept telling me that he finds me in other girls, he tried to but is unable to. I am also unable to go away from him but to satisfy my vagina, am sleeping with other guys coz my boyfriend will fuck me after we marry.