Sometimes I find it really hard to put words to how I’m feeling and to express myself with fears of being invalidated. My boyfriend is great at not making me feel invalidated generally and we have a decently healthy relationship. We just came back from holidays a few days ago and yesterday I suggested maybe we could meet up and have a picnic and go for a swim as I was expressing to him that I was finding the adjustment a bit hard staying with him and spending lots of time with him over 2 weeks to going back to our normal living circumstances ( living separately). The whole time I was with him he visibly very tired and apologised but said he did feel up to do doing too much with I said was fine so I went for a swim and we chatted for a bit before I suggested he go home and get some rest. He slept for a few hours and did some things and in that time I was just doing my own thing which I didn’t mind and then he said he was playing a game with his friends. That was all good. He called me at maybe 12pm to talk to me for a bit when he was playing but it felt like he was a bit distracted because he was playing. I tried staying up and doing my own thing to wait so we could chat properly as I like doing that before we go to bed before I couldn’t stay up any longer at 1:30am and said I might go to sleep. I woke up again at nearly 3am and he was still playing and chatting with his friends. I know he doesn’t do this all the time and we were on holidays and he wanted to chat up with his friends but I don't know I feel a bit deflated and I don’t really know why.
1 mo
It’s difficult to interpret why I am feeling the way I feel, I was hoping for some outside insight? Female: 20 and Male: 22?
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Aww sis, I can understand why you'd be feeling a bit deflated in that situation. Even though you both had a great time on holiday, it's always an adjustment period coming back to normal life. And it makes sense you'd want to connect with him after being together so much.
A few thoughts on what might be going on for you:
- You suggested meeting up to ease back into things together slowly, but when he seemed too tired, it probably made you feel like a low priority.
- Getting a brief, distracted chat while he played games wasn't quality time with him. You just wanted undivided attention after being apart.
- Seeing him choose games over spending time with you when you were trying to stay up definitely hurts. Even if unintended on his part.
Try talking to him about how you're feeling - not in an accusatory way, just share your perspective honestly. Compromise is key. Maybe set aside special "just us" time each week as you settle back in. Don't shut down your needs. He seems caring, so I'm sure if you communicate, he can meet you halfway. Hang in there sis! 💕
You just overthink and enjoy the drama is all. You probably have narcissist tendencies too.
You feel this way because you have an unsupportive, toxic boyfriend.