Search Results: meeting someone on girlsaskguys

So I have dated very few people and only really thought of it after knowing them a long time ‘& only by the time I was already falling in love or already IN love, tho still was not ready for a relationship and even ambivalent about just dating. I have never ever dated to experience & learn better how to date- dating was only after thought to my interest in a specific person.

it occurred to me that this can be very problematic. If you very rarely like anyone I think you can have a false- positive impression of their character. Just bc I’m so very rarely interested in someone this does not mean that anyone I AM interested in os necessarily good for me as a person/ partner or is even a good person at all.

And ultimately in my opinion experience is crucial. Every train wreck I’ve encountered on romantic scenarios was not due to anyone being evil but bc I had no clue WTF I was doing bc I was not used to caring about someone that I was also “into”. And I was extremely uncomfortable dealing with certain inevitable vulnerability etc plus brain freeze 😂

Anyhow , I think in interest of self development & interpersonal capability , I should consider dating as part of regular life & not a rare artifact that maybe I’ll encounter in a lifetime.

Now, when I say date I mean meeting you getting acquainted. I do not mean hook ups or vetting people for whatever agenda. Just getting to know people in a romantic contexts.

Of course I’ll be upfront so no one’s tine will be wasted if they are expecting sex or something heavily physical quickly. I’m Audi not interested in anyone paying for anything so no one is getting explored with no return.

Would it bother you to be asked out by someone who wasn’t blown away by you but was open to getting to know you?

I was chatting with my roommate and she was telling me about these sites or apps that she's gone on to chat with guys such as meetup tagged and plenty of fish. At first I wasn't sure what she was looking for so I listened and I laughed at some of the messages she got and I shut my eyes @ some of the pictures she received oh boy! 😳🙈 Which to those she thankfully chewed them out! 😠

and finally I asked her "why are people on these apps? what are you hoping to gain?" in actuality I wanted to ask are you looking for a hookup or a date? not that I thought my friend was looking for a hookup but more because the responses she was getting from the guys. They seemed more interested in looking for a hookup... Anyhow her response was "I don't know just looking to talk... Get comfortable enough to meet with someone... Hopefully nice"...

I responded "yeah but is it me or do most of them just want hookups?"

To which she shrugged and said "well how else do we do this how else do we meet up with people?"

Sadly I can't say. Dating or getting to know someone now a days seems to have become so complicated.

So what are these site for? What other apps or sites are there? And what are they for?

I get eHarmony and match. com that's obvious they're looking for marriages but is it okay to look on eHarmony and you're not looking for marriages or romantic or a hookup?

• 1 Where do you look if you just want casual dating without a hookup?
• 2 Where do you look if you don't want the dating and you might just want a friend?
• 3 And for the hell of it since we are on the subject where do you look if you do want just to hook up?

Disclaimer: I DO NOT. I’m asking this bc i find it peculiar many people have this mind set & are bothered by someone providing pertinent data as if it is a decision. With so many playing games. I think honesty is refreshing.

Being upfront about personal relationship goals on the second date seems very early for some, for others it is just being efficient and not wasting time. Yea you can develop feelings for the person and perhaps give up stuff important to you, but I think many people don’t want to fall into that trap - which I understand.

I can see both approaches having merit. Being open free and seeing how things go not worrying about the future until you know how you feel is one technique tho probably best suited to 15-26 year olds or people for whom relationships are not a priority. Life keeps moving and while you’re seeing “how things go” with someone you may end up not wanting to be with bc turns out tho you fell in love, you want very different things— other people are meeting people they settle with who might’ve been a really good fit for you 🤷🏻‍♀️

Being upfront knowing what you want sure saves a lot of hassle - tho not everyone reacts well. & perhaps what you want changes. I think with major things like sex or marriage it’s crucial to be on the same page. I understand bringing it up as early as possible it is very unlikely to change. You may agree to compromise, but it may be to the point either or both are miserable.

If a guy doesn’t tell me what’s important to him up front, that’s fine as long as it doesn’t Interfere with my ability to make an informed decision. Likewise, If he tells me straight up on say date two or three, that’s fine too —unless his actions betray his words. Then he’s not being upfront he’s being shifty.

But to be upfront, I would not see that as needy or desperate & I CERTAINLY not as indicative of having made up his mind about ME. 😂