How can I bring up this issue to my roommates?

Question

We have a new girl that moved in and I’m not trying to put all the blame on her but we did not have this dirty of a kitchen until now. There are gnats every where because they wait forever to take out the trash. Someone isn’t cleaning up after themselves when they cook. There are crumbs all over the counters. It’s just nasty. I rarely cook but when I do, I make sure I clean up and I have found myself cleaning up after them from time to time because I don’t want to cook in a dirty kitchen. My mom thinks a meeting should be held to discuss this cause it’s really annoying. I’m not sure if it’s all 3 girls or just the new girl… I know that my other roommate will clean up the kitchen but it will be hours after she’s cooked. She will cook at like 2 am and then not clean it up until the next day.

genericname85 · Accepted Answer

well if she's at fault, why not confront her. you don't have to be an asshole about it. just get together with your roommates and discuss the expectations each of you have for feeling comfortable together and then see how each of you can compromise a little to make it work for everyone. maybe you'll have to end up making a schedule for the cleaning and then come up with punishments for when someone didn't fullfill their duty. can be funny punishments. like she gotta treat everyone to a bottle of wine or whatever.

caring__1 · Accepted Answer

Call a meeting of all the roommates in the kitchen. Ask each to share their thoughts and feelings about the condition of the kitchen. Then ask, "What can we do about it, if we don't like what we see?" Let them come up with the solutions rather than take on the role of mommy and tell them what they should be doing (which will only make them more resistant and less considerate of others). Just facilitate their exploration and discovery rather than judge them.

TrueConfection · Accepted Answer

This happened to me twice and this trick worked both times;

I piled all their junk up (even the paper cups and used paper plates that were not thrown away). I left their pile in their personal space.

In both instances, the slob at hand felt victimized and angry by my pettiness. The problem ceased and I can live with my pettiness easier than their garbage!

ShaTTeredMasterpeace · Accepted Answer

Oh hell nah. Hold a meeting ASAP. y'all are all adults and should be able to clean up after yourselves. Gnats are the least of the worries. Roaches and mice will be next. Having lived with quite a few roommates before, I've dealt with this. And nothing was changed until we all had a meeting about it.

melanieeeB · Answer

I would sit down with them and calmly discuss the issues and that you would wish, that they clean after themselves

Pyrofox · Answer

Just make a new rule that whoever fails to clean the kitchen after themselves gotta refill the snack shelves >.> of what the whole apartment can eat. And watch things be clean or even spotless when ya mention something of money value is on the line XD.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I agree with your mom. some rules need to be set up. some people are poorly trained at home. you may need to be commanding and demanding. I hate to say it... some people may not listen and follow the rules and as such, have to be kicked out. Boys can be especially bad I've seen.

one solution may be to hire a maid periodically, but that costs... much better to have some common rules for usage and cleanup expectations.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

When it comes to stuff like this, it really depends on how introverted versus extroverted you are. I feel like the best thing to do would be to bring everyone together and talk about this issue and how it can be solved rather than blaming any one in particular. Now, some people are more introverted, anxious, shy, or nervous so they will possibly be more nonconfrontational in these types of matters and will opt for a different way to address this issue.

hyperben · Answer

thats a real pain in the ass, I feel ya... can do one of two things, raise it as an issue now and get it sorted (risk being the villain) or just totally ignore it as far as reasonably possible and try not to contribute to the mess until it resolves itself. the other thing you could try, chat with the person you're closest to and get their thoughts, it might be that 2-3 of you are thinking the same but nobody wants to make a fuss

Msputiton · Answer

I think your momma's right. Have a meeting and figure out a plan. You be surprised how someone's behavior has been going on so long, that they don't even realize it is a problem to others.

Pudsmucker · Answer

I remember years ago I had roommates also that were not very clean. I decided to had one of each, pot, skillet, bowl, plate, fork spoon knife and sharp knife. This force me to clean my personal stuff up as soon as I ate off of it. It was still that way when I graduated.

Sour-rose · Answer

No dishes, no mess. Mofos gonna get the point. They WILL get the point, gdi. :) I ain't gonna be living with mofos who can't clean these damn dishes that I might pass one day and get PSTD thinking I saw something crawl over one.

Agape93 · Answer

Clean your own stuff and keep your stuff labeled. Never clean their stuff. They'll get the hint eventually. If not, gather their dishes and put them in their rooms if they aren't cleaned within a few hours.

A_Bell · Answer

Get trash bags and put this stuff in one every night if it hasn't been cleaned and toss it in her room.

TrillXHippy · Answer

Talk to your roommates like you’re the mom and they’re little kids cause that’s really uncalled for. That bothers me so much that I would wash those dishes and I didn’t even dirty up anything

AviatorTom · Answer

Your mother is right... ti e fir a group meeting if all the roommates and decide, together, how to handle cleanliness.

JDavid25 · Answer

Yeah you should probably have a meeting.. They can't get away with being dirty as hell on your watch...

Hardworkingguy · Answer

That is a particular problem that I had to face during my days living with roommates and I tried talking it out but it never had any positive effects. I am quite glad I don't have to live with roommates anymore

Alex8736 · Answer

Issue a notice stating "Anything unclaimed and/or unclean and abandoned after 7PM (night before trash is collected) will be considered as trash and will be removed to prevent rodents and unnecessary rent increases so please do your part "

Anonymous · Answer

Do not put things in the sink, stack them next to the sink, that way you do not disable the washing up facility and create a nightmarish hellscape that no one wants to go near.

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

Handle it the same way they do it here

ZenJen444 · Answer

Confront her.. Her uncleanliness is going to attract rodents. Last thing you want is roaches. Can you report to your housing to have her removed because this is basically damaging the property

Googlemyahoo · Answer

New rule, you cook you clean it up immediately after. Anything left gets dumped on your bed.

exitseven · Answer

Let thje place get really bad and then call the Board of Health on her.

How can I bring up this issue to my roommates?

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How can I bring up this issue to my roommates?

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