Search Results: only calls when he wants something

My friend called me this week saying that I say unnecessary things & those things take jabs at her. She's a "girl's girl" & some things sound like I'm competing
She gave me 2 examples out of many
1. She said someone was talking to us about shoes & I said I got them 1st (i specifically dont remember that moment, but I'll give it to her because people don't remember things unless it's attached to a filtering emotion)
2. She mentioned how her ex talked & hugged her & I said he does that with everybody
(That I explained as protection cuz they broken up twice & I've had my own breakup in which my ex liked me physically but didn't want to be with me
I know her ex is not extreme like that but I didn't want her to get her hopes up on something he does to everybody
She should look for other signs.) She still said I shouldn't say it like that
I could understand what she means however while we're in conversation I thought that phrase was precise & got my point across quickly & she never brought it up to me until now
How was I suppose to know she didn't like it & how am I suppose to hold a conversation & know which comments are unnecessary
In general conversations are unnecessary unless you need something from the other person (health/businesswise) Then she said she's upset that she keeps having to find out information from my ex in terms of my dad being sick or me being sick (my ex only knows because we still work together & when he ask wya, i tell him) but her schedule is random I don't know when she's sleep, on the road, etc so it's up to her. When I did reach out, it was at the wrong time, so I got tired of doing it. Also when I told her I was sick, specifically what I was going through, it felt like she forgot or didn't look up what's happening to me for herself. And when we went on outings/convos when my sickness played a role in our interaction, empathy wasn't present, so why tell her? Should I let her know or let it fade?

I have been with my husband for 7 years and we have a 1 year old daughter together. I also have a 9yo son from my previous relationship and my husband has adopted him. His family has always been toxic but it's always been in a "I feed off drama" way and nothing more. However, they really upped it last year. Basically my sister in laws husband hit my 9yo son in the back of the head out of anger (my son was playing tag with his cousin and ran inside and the door slammed behind him). It was a hard hit. Cops were called and the police did nothing because there was no witnesses outside of me and they called it a "he said she said" thing and stated that we needed to work through our own family conflict. They claimed my son wasn't a reliable witness because he wouldn't speak to them (he's incredibly shy, has ASD and was just assaulted by a grown ass man so he was already scared - he just kept hiding behind me saying "mum can you just tell them" and they took this as me making shit up and leading my son to say something that wasn't true).

When my sister in law found out what happened she was initially on our side and scolded her husband. But he threatened to divorce her, so she did a 180° and started claiming her husband did nothing wrong and that he only hit my son because my kid has been repeatedly told not to slam doors and didn't listen so her husband had an "impulse reaction" and claimed "no harm, no foul" because my son was fine. So, I cut all contact and when our daughter was born we refused to let her anywhere near her despite her being extremely excited for the baby and having made all these customized items for her. She was destroyed over it but oh well. Don't defend a child abuser.

Well, here it is a year later and my mother in law brought it up randomly and stated "I understand completely why he hit your son." So I told her to leave and she wasn't welcome back here around my children. Now my husband is upset because he wants his mother around.

He said let’s do a happy hour can you leave work early and I said absolutely! Around 4pm im packing up my things and he calls to ask if it is ok if he goes to meet up with a female coworker who wants to celebrate him for just a drink and then he’ll meet me at 5:30pm for our happy hour.

My disappointment comes from constantly communicating I always feel last to him and that he only makes me a priority when convenient. He goes to drinks with this coworker about once a week and though I’m not concerned about anything between them I don’t like feeling like im last in who he wants to share with. I later found out he had reached out to her to meet up sounded like she said something around lunch and then he followed up.

He ended up showing up 45 minutes late and then got upset when I responded to a message from my boss. He said it was disrespectful to do so in front of him especially being my boss is a man. I just said sorry and moved on.

It really bothers me that I try to tell him how I feel and it’s usually met with defensive responses and then he immediately gets upset with me when it comes to someone of the opposite sex.

Am I overreacting?