Search Results: too pretty to work with him

I’m 40, she’s 39 and both of us spent way too much time navigating the dating world. We’ve both been told since turning 30 to date men 10 to 20 years older. I’ve been more open to it than she was. She’s still not open to it. She’s really pretty so her looks aren’t an issue, but she gets passed over and dumped CONSTANTLY by men our age for younger women and the last time really hurt her.

I started dating a man age 54 last year and have never been happier, and dating him taught me two things: 1.) it’s really true that men like to be a little bit older than their women and 2.) men need to feel lucky to have a woman in order for a relationship to work (my boyfriend and I both know how lucky we are to have each other, but he courted and pursued me like no man my own age ever did). My friend has not accepted this yet, and it’s such a shame because my boyfriend has a friend who is perfect for her. The guy met her one time and has been begging me ever since to set him up with her and he’s been pursuing her nonstop but she won’t give him a chance just because he’s 60. She says the age gap is too big and she won’t date him because he’s 20 years older even though he treats women really well, can give her the life and love she deserves and can also respect all of the wonderful qualities that she has to offer.

That man has outright told me that he wants someone our age. How can I make her see that women our age are better off with men that age?

She said the oldest she’ll date is 50.

Am I right when I say middle aged women in their late 30’s should be dating men in their late 50’s/early 60’s? Is she right that the age gap is too big?

I felt like I had a strong connection with him because me and him would literally agree on everything and I felt like we were almost the same person with very similar points of view on everything, I should’ve seen that as a bit of a red flag too tbh. And the fact we are both autistic, and had very similar special interests.
Everyone says how amazing he is, but he’s leading me on (because I really really fancied him and he could tell), used me for sex once, then gaslights and manipulated me. All his answers are always vague. It’s like he’s either very blunt and cutting… or extremely vague and won’t give a direct answer. Also during sex he refused to use lube or condoms and I stupidly went with it, I’m worried he might’ve possibly done that to give me an sti (but he seemed pretty clean down there). He was also very selfish and I was on top the entire time. The afterwards he says he feels bad and that he’s crossed the line and that we both need to put a line there and not cross it again… but the next lesson starts flirting with me again… then I told him that I won’t be getting lessons for a while because I need to focus on coursework… so I’ve left it at that.
The whole time I felt like I was nothing to him, even though I was giving him everything pretty much and I was feeding his ego.
strange thing is, he got divorced AND left the Uni job (he taught me at uni too) at the same time and said it’s because the principle offered him no work after an argument happened and put it down to the principle being petty. He also said how he has a terrible temper and got a disciplinary after bursting into a rage at another staff member… so this is really suspicious. I also felt like he was opening up to me by telling me all this stuff… but really I was paying for lessons and he was using me as a therapist or thought he could take advantage. Also he’s very good at what he does, but seems to over inflate it and lies about how many gigs he’s done etc.

30F either DA or FA, want to say I’m some kind of avoidant. Based on life experiences, are these pretty tell tale signs I’m probably…well not attractive? I’ve always questioned how almost every pretty woman I’ve come across is always in a relationship with an equally attractive guy. When I was chubby younger, I thought losing weight would solve everything and it hasn’t. I feel like regardless of what anyone else says, I’ll always wholeheartedly believe attractive women have no issue finding a partner & they have life easier. I’ve been told I’m attractive by a variety of people for most of my life, even when I was chubby. I’m not thin, 5’7 women’s US 10 so midsize but I have that thicker thigh/flatter stomach build. The only time I get attention from guys I find attractive are on dating apps and that’s not telling in my opinion. I’ve been told this guy looked at me/this guy found me attractive from other people but the guy never makes it known to me. And there’s been very very few times where I would see an attractive guy making eye contact with me or at least caught my gaze but I just look away b/c I don’t see the point. I’m anxious/reserved but a lot of people with anxiety are in fulfilling relationships.

Last thing I’ll add was being bullied pretty badly as a kid, again I was chubby so I know this played a part. Worse in middle school, I didn’t have to be homeschooled but it still sucked really freaking bad. And in HS but not as extreme as middle school, HS was more mean girls if anything. As an adult at old jobs, I did have confrontation/clashing w/personalities too. And let’s not forget shit bosses. Since I’ve worked remotely for the past few years, I haven’t had drama with coworkers or mgmt. Let’s hope it stays that way, I’ve had to deal with toxic family members too but that’s a thing of the past.

I’M SO CONVINCED THESE THINGS DON’T HAPPEN TO ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE