Should I let myself get too attached to someone who may only want casual sex?

[Anonymous]

For reference, we work together at a livestock exchange and go to college together. He's 22 and I'm 18 if that matters. We hangout pretty often outside of work and just had sex for the first time together the other day. I tell him I have feelings for him and I like him and he says he does too and or that "I'm like the best" or "Very nice, sweet, and cute". He says I'm beautiful and kind and what not but I know he says he has a hard time with relationships and he didn't expand on that. Plus with work and the fact he plans on moving, he doesn't want a relationship holding him back. So I get that.

When we first started talking he said he liked this one gal, and before we ever did anything I was telling him maybe he could get her some flowers or go on a date and stuff. Like 2 weeks ago he says he actually hasn't seen her in over a year and he doesn't know if he would actually do that.

So we have this thing going on and I enjoy it and I'm happy and he's truly great and he said if things ever change he'll let me know and like he isn't opposed to a relationship in the future (It's because if he moved for work he doesn't want it hold anyone back.. as I explained earlier) so I appreciate that but I guess I don't know if I should let myself get attached or keep it as simply casual? Cause I do already really like him.

Updates

1 y

I can't believe I put my age wrong, I'm 19 😬😂

[Graptemys79]

You are already in a relationship. Hanging out, talking about things you wouldn't with others and having sex is what most people would define as "dating." The question is, how long will he want to date just you. You sound as if you want this to be long term. I think you should explain this to him as you did to us. He may not want anything more. I don't know if he is using you for sex, but sex is a strong motivator for guys to stick around and say nice things about you, even if he isn't doing it consciously.

[Asker]

Yeah I will definitely keep that in mind, cause it's hard for me too differentiate what he wants. But it is something I'd want long term and maybe it'll just be simply just what we have now and that's all it will be. So I will take it as it is. He doesn't seem to have any other person in mind to like either so it makes me feel better. But I hope it really isn't just sex, I know he has been saying the nice things since meeting but who knows. I appreciate your reply!

[Lliam]

Get as much enjoyment out of it as possible. Be infatuated, even if it's not destined to last.

[Asker]

Noted! It could be a good learning experience to say the least lol

[Daniela1982]

Too late, sounds like you already did. Good luck with that, especially if you are looking for something more lasting than a one-night stand.

[Asker]

Yeah sounding more like we are friends with benefits so I'll probably just enjoy it while it last, thank you! lol

[Founding_Daddy]

I think that is really risky!!! That can create complications with feelings, and total confusion! :O

Can I ask you for some advice? follow me if its okay?

[Asker]

No kidding, currently dealing with it right now 😪

[Founding_Daddy]

Ha! I was right! :(
but im sorryyy :((((

[Asker]

It is what it is unfortunatelyyyyy 😖

[ProbablyClueless]

What's the benefit in over investing?

[Asker]

I guess a good time and maybe just learning to just enjoy it while it last?

[ProbablyClueless]

Sounds like you'd be setting yourself up to be wanting more though. Do you think you'd be able to keep a cool head in a situation like that?

[Asker]

I'd like to tell myself I would, we have conversations about it, he says if anything were to change he'd let me know and he doesn't want me to get hurt. I would be lying if I said I didn't want more but unfortunately you can only take what you get. He says he likes me a lot and he's hesitant for a relationship from my guess is past stuff. So I just have to respect that, which I get completely as tough as it might be. 😪

[In_Trance]

Too late

[Asker]

Yess I'm realizing 😖