Search Results: girlfriend dates another guy

So there are a few people in my life, thankfully not many, who I have these multiple-years long conflicts with. We're talking like active hostility, they'll block me if I tried reaching out, that sort of thing. I've learned to just respect the fact they don't want to be in touch lol.

Now, me personally, I know what the conflicts are about, but I just don't see them as that big of a deal. Like the one conflict happened because the guy thought I was abusive to my ex girlfriend (I wasn't). Another happened with a girl I dated, who it turned out that she had a fiance and was dating me on the side. There's a conflict I had with two other ladies who had dated my friends, and who blocked me after the relationships ended. I'm sure there are others.

None of these people have any interest in interacting with me whatsoever and seem to be actively repelled by the idea, even years later. I guess I just don't see the big deal? Like I get that we aren't going to be friends, but we can't even engage in small talk and pleasantries? Some of these conflicts happened more than 5 years ago.

I realize that I'm probably more comfortable with confrontation than most people, but I feel like this isn't normal. Like, if you briefly dated my friend 5-7 years ago, we should probably be able to at least talk. I think the one where she cheated on her fiance with me makes a bit more sense that she wouldn't want to be in contact, but even that I just feel like replying to a message online isn't that big of a deal.

Am I missing something here?

Women are notorious for sending mixed messages and “shit testing” men. They say something is okay when it really isn’t. They want to see if the guy is self controlled and wise enough to pass the test.

However there are a few scenarios men are guilty of this as well. I can think of only two scenarios where men unfairly “shit test” women.

Shit Test #1: He pressures her to have sex early. She gives it up and he then later loses respect for her.

A lot of men judge women for being promiscuous/easy. If she initiating random sex with lots of guys that’s one thing. But if a guy pressures her to do it and she gives in (and enjoys it) then he really has no right to judge her. It was all his idea.

Yet there are some men who do this and frankly it’s a double standard bs. I actually stayed in long term relationships with all three of my past gfs despite having sex with all on them within 3 dates. One ex girlfriend said she would of done it on our first date (we did on the second) if I initiated. But I am actually glad I didn’t.

Shit Test #2: Telling her you don’t mind if she hangs out and talks (a lot) with other guys including exes. However when she does the man gets angry/jealous.

Jealousy is a tricky bastard. On one end a very controlling man is extremely insecure. He gets pissed off if another guy looks to long at his girlfriend or tries to chat with her (often the other guy doesn’t know she’s taken). It can actually be a compliment when other guys check out your girlfriend/wife JUST as long they are respectful about it. But when they cross a line it deserves an ass kicking.

On the flip side some guys seemingly don’t mind at all of their girlfriend/wife hang out with other guys and even do more with them. It’s like they are somehow demonstrating they aren’t controlled by jealousy.

But the truth is some guys “say” it’s alright when deep down they are not at all okay with it. It’s there way of “testing” their girlfriend/wife to make sure they really love them.