Age Does NOT Equal Wisdom

[BaileyisDarcy]

Backstory!

Alright, so, as a child (under the age of ten) I would get into these arguments with my grandmother. And I know there's this whole thing about 'be respectful to your elders!' Trust me, I was as respectful as I could be while hinting at the fact that the woman is an idiot.

I really was. I was the most 'need to please' child I have ever met. I might not have been very good at it, but I did my best to make people not want to smack me over the head. Seriously. I tried.

Anyway, these arguments I had with her, I can still say to this day that I was right. She would have been in her late forties/early fifties at the time, and she was arguing with a six to nine year old.

(could not find a more perfect picture. And could not find this perfect picture where it was not dreamtimed all over)

One of the arguments was about the sugar on our weetbix. It started off with me wanting to put the sugar on after I put the milk in, because I liked watching the way sugar looks while it's sucking up the milk. Grandma told me it's better to put the sugar on first, because that way the milk will dissolve it.

What? No, it won't, it just pushes the sugar off the weetbix. What the hell's the point of having sugar on your weetbix if you're eating it with the milk and not the biscuit? I might as well just pour a glass of milk and spoon some sugar into it.

But no. Apparently sugar dissolves into milk in only milliseconds. It does not.

So yeah. I do still stand by my six year old self.

Another argument was about wind.

Grandma made the comment about how windy it was when she opened the drivers side window while doing 90 down a very long straight. I frowned at her, double checked the trees on the side of the road, because I could have sworn they were not moving, and confirmed that yes, they were not moving. So I told her no, it's not windy. The trees aren't swaying.

She told me yes it is and opened the window further to prove her point.

I told her it wasn't. It just feels like it's windy because the car is moving into the air fast enough that it rushes into the car really fast when you open the window. (or something to that effect). She didn't believe me. So I dumbed it down and again, told her, that the trees aren't swaying. There was no wind outside because there hadn't been even a breeze before we got in the car, and not even a leaf was moving on those trees.

She just kept getting more and more agitated that I was fighting her on the issue so I dropped it. (I was nine)

Now, with that in mind, my grandmother is not a stupid woman. She's not the smartest person on earth by any means, but she isn't an idiot.

It does though raise the issue, why do our 'elderly' (anyone over thirty or forty. I don't class you as elderly until you're in a nursing home, but you are being put in a category. That being, older than myself.) believe that just because they are older and have more experience than us "young'uns" that they are smarter than us?

Why is it automatically assumed that just because we have a smaller number on our birthday cards that we also have a smaller IQ? That's shit.

Intelligence has nothing to do with age. Sure, the more experience you have the more you tend to know, but that really only counts if you keep an open mind and allow yourself to be proven wrong every now and then.

(I should really take my own advice there)

I know you grew up in a time where you didn't have the world at your finger tips and you had to ask real people questions and you had to find things out for yourself. I know you remember back when as a kid you knew nothing because there was no way your parents would tell you about this or that and you didn't have any way of finding that out.

But we do have ways of finding things out now.

My little brother, who is eleven this year, knows more about current events than I do.

I've always been able to pick up on things that I thought were obvious and had people ask me 'how did you know that?! You're a genius!' (hah, if only)

One of my friends is possibly the smartest person I know.

And you know, what happened fifty years ago, really doesn't much apply anymore. I know some of it does, but the way my grandparents go about teaching me stuff and trying to parent me. No. Just, no. That doesn't apply anymore.

So yeah. I don't have much else to say on the subject. Just, for you people who think you're so much smarter than anyone younger than you. Cut the crap. You might be smarter than some, but you aren't smarter than all.

And if a kid is trying to tell you something, even if you don't belive them, just smile and nod and at least pretend like they're right even if you don't think they are, just so they don't curse you out and call you stupid in their head. Because, chances are, they probably are right.

[Stacyzee]

People that are older in age tend to have a fair amount of life experience over someone much younger.

I must admit there are some who are very smart for their age (assuming we are talking about people under 18). But what they lack is life experience that often comes with time.

I've encountered many teens who seem wise. They are able to give advice and knowledge that extends way beyond their years. But something that lacks with someone who has not had much life experience is the quality of their answer. Usually they cannot advise further or deeper than what meets the eye. Someone who has actually been through what they advise about tends to give much deeper and knowledgeable insight.

Older people do not know it all.
No one knows everything despite their age.
But what people have that weighs over others is knowledge that they gained with time.

[ThisDudeHere]

This annoying old man (who was an asshole btw) once tried to lecture me on life. I told him that just because he had sat in front of the TV for 4 decades more than I have live, didn't mean that he had more wisdom on anything than I did.

[ConfusedGrocer]

I've been told I'm a "little girl using big words" and stuff like "LOL, I'm not going to discuss this with a 14yo." It was probably the worst thing someone ever said to me.

Elders want respect but they don't respect you at all. I hate it when people pull the "brain development" argument. It may be a scientific fact you continue to grow until your mid 20's, but how does that mean you're less capable than an adult? Everything is so adult-centered, I feel really restricted because my parents basically own me until I'm 18. They were thinking about moving to a different town (that I hated) and my opinion wasn't even asked. I simply had to go anywhere they went. It's even worse for people who are forced into things like conversion therapy by their ignorant parents because they legally can't make their own decisions about it.

I'm against age limits of any kind. Instead of "the age of consent", there could me a maximum age gap. Maybe 4 years once you're 13, and no age gap when you're 18? The drinking age in America is ridiculous, you can work at a bar once you're 18 but can't drink there until you're 21.

[BaileyisDarcy]

I agree with the bar thing. Luckily I just need to wait a few months till I'm eighteen and bam. Alcohol ahoy! My laws are a little different and in this case better = )

My stepmum used to control everything around me. I couldn't decide what clothes to wear, I couldn't decide how to wear my hair, I couldn't even choose what I wanted to do because it was never good enough for her. So because of the fact that I never developed proper decision making skills, people tend think I'm less mature than I am. Which brings out the whole 'I'm smarter than you are' thing, which is more prominent in those older than me.
Which is bullshit because the amount of times my grandparents have wondered something allowed and I've automatically without thinking answered them. The looks on their faces of 'oh mah gerd the gerl has some shmarts. Mehbe sheh ain't so stoopeed ahftah all.'

Yup.

[VampireEmpress]

you shouldn't believe the people who said that. when you get older you'll find out they made mistakes as adults that were way more stupid than anything you could ever do/say.

[Anonymous]

Your problem is you don't know that the word wisdom means.

"knowledge that is gained by having many experiences in life" .. hence wisdom comes with age and only age, IQ is something completely different altogether.

Wisdom is based on personal experiences, not book learning or factual knowledge, wisdom is more emotional based, a social or human skill so to speak. IQ is cognitive ability, something where youth is actually an advantage.

[Stacyzee]

Agreed.

[meatballs21]

Also agreed. See also: common sense, which can make someone who's otherwise intelligent and experienced do foolish things.

[Print]

Agreed..

[Scrambledagain]

Agreed. I was always a smart-ass as a kid. I have 3 diplomas, 2 degrees and a host of other academic things. I am a demon at general knowledge quizzes and hold my ground to anybody in an academic/hypothetical debate. Wisdom, accumulated through the years has shown me that all the above actually means nothing, and proves there is a massive difference between intelligent, wise and well educated. As everyone mentions though, only the old that were willing to learn are wise. It makes sense that older people are usually richer (and their kids even richer as the parents knew what to do before they were born). For example I already have my kids pension planned out as per my living circumstances at the moment and I havnt even had a kid. I just know to get that compound interest going!

[immaterial]

I would actually disagree. I would argue that wisdom is more than simply experience or knowledge. It's also insight, understanding and good judgement. Arguably none of which are inherently granted by experience.

Additionally It might be said that the problem with experience, is that it's like driving a car by looking through the rear view mirror. You might be on the same road, but the context changes.

On wisdom a couple of the well known philosophers:
Confucius seemingly said: “By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”
and Socrates apparently said: "True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us."

Neither of which would seem to require age. Something to contemplate on perhaps.

[Opinion Owner]

So you disagree with a dictionary defining and down vote for it... nice...

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/wisdom :

You are right about the definition being more than just that, but then your are entering the world of philosophy something I didn't intent to do.

[immaterial]

Words can possess many definitions, and even in the dictionary you yourself link, the majority of definitions would not seem to necessarily innately require experience. And many philosophers would also seem to suggest definitions which do not require experience.

If I down voted you, it's because you appear to have outright stated that the writer does not know what wisdom means, seemingly because they did not conform to the particular definition you have chosen.

Now I do not mean to suggest that definitional analysis is in and of itself unreasonable. But that does not make the writer wrong.

[Opinion Owner]

The definition I mentioned is what the OP was referring to when people say wisdom come with age, hence why she is wrong and did not understand the very definition.

You are however trying to change the issue by using philosophical definitions not really relevant to the issue at hand. And down vote based on lack of understanding.

I am not impressed with you at all.

[BaileyisDarcy]

Actually @immaterial is correct.

I class wisdom as knowledge. And that's just about it. It's knowledge that comes from having an open mind, from understanding new and different concepts, as well as the older ones.

It's also not arguing with a know-it-all kid. We all know we're going to lose the moment you start arguing with one.

[immaterial]

If I might be frank, I'm really not that concerned with whether or not an anonymous online poster is impressed with me.

I was perhaps overly subtle in my previous comment, so to rephrase, I downvoted you, not simply because I didn't agree with your opinion, but because I found the way you communicated it, wherein you seemed to imply that the take owner didn't know what they were talking about, to be somewhat rude. (Although, to be fair, Emily Post probably wouldn't advise pointing out others rudeness either)

Given the take owner stated above they were in fact using a different definition then yours, whether or not you agree with their definition being the most relevant, it seems like you might owe them an apology for maligning their grasp of basic vocabulary.

[Opinion Owner]

@BaileyisDarcy when I said "Your problem is you don't know that the word wisdom means" I meant it, saying immaterial is correct, doesn't make you right.

True knowledge is part of wisdom, but only knowledge is only knowledge.

If you incest on a philological definition of wisdom, then wisdom is the positive application of knowledge and experiences. Wisdom is also the ability to understand things that most other people cannot understand, unlike knowledge that anybody can acquire by reading a book or whatever.

Nevertheless when people say "Wisdom really does come with age" that they are in fact referring to is the definition "knowledge that is gained by having many experiences in life", and not any other kind of definition.

If you insist on a different definition of the word wisdom, than the one used by those you talk about, then communication failure is inevitable.

[Opinion Owner]

@immaterial I see a clear cultural difference here, I don't think anything I have said was rude when it is true.
Being rude is to be discourteous in a deliberate way, and that I am not.

My point was in enlighten not to be discourteous, but clearly it is pointless to go further into this, we can agree to disagree.

[immaterial]

The dictionary you yourself linked contained many definitions. You have chosen to believe that your personal connotative meaning is the only valid denotative one, seeming to sweep the others away as 'philosophical'. What you are offering is not truth, it's your opinion, and not a good one in my opinion. Now admittedly you did just try to argue why your definition is better, which is more fair. But still, it's just your opinion of why you feel your definition is better... it's not 'the truth'.

But since you don't consider it rude, allow me to respond to you in the manner which you began your thread with some statements that I'd argue are truer than yours:
You don't know basic communication principles. You don't know basic debate strategies. You don't know definitional analysis. You don't understand connotative vs denotative meaning. You don't know basic manners.

Now here is my question for you. Does any of that feel rude to you?

[Opinion Owner]

Nope not rude, just stupid and ignorant.

[immaterial]

I might note that between the two of us, at least one of us has a degree in communication studies (amongst other areas). And based on my knowledge, you don't really know what you're talking about. But if you want to think the person with an education is the ignorant one... knock yourself out I guess?

And I might note that you would seem a prime example of the authors point that age does not grant wisdom. And you are rude. So age apparently doesn't teach manners either it would seem.

[BaileyisDarcy]

@immaterial Oh god no, if anything age takes manners away. I'm sure many of the elderly people surrounding me were the most polite kids you ever came across but you wouldn't know that talking to them now.

How did I get my manners? The world will never know because it certainly wasn't from observing the people around me.

[Opinion Owner]

@immaterial Rude and you are not!!! haha that's a good one.

Education is good in many ways, unfortunately it doesn't bring wisdom and some education doesn't even brig fruitful knowledge. Women's studies for instance is really nothing more than feminist propaganda studies, it's not fruitful nor based on truth, but on a certain ideological belief systems.

I do not know you particular studies of communication, but it's a bad stated to down vote and speak like you do presuming you want actually communication without any kind of resentment - your studies should have told you this. You start-up being friendly - agreeing as much as possible with you opponent, and then slowly turn on the heat and the good relation is build, instead of starting-up by down vote and insults.

Is that viewed as good communication by you professors?

[Opinion Owner]

@BaileyisDarcy

Age have no relation to manner just like true wisdom have nothing to do with age.

But for any discussion of wisdom to make sense, we must first agree on what the definition of wisdom is in the context you are brining it in.

What is your definition of wisdom in this context?

[BaileyisDarcy]

I stated my definition in the first reply to this little conversation.

"I class wisdom as knowledge. And that's just about it. It's knowledge that comes from having an open mind, from understanding new and different concepts, as well as the older ones."
It should come easier as you grow older and let go of the stereotypes that got you through your childhood, but only if you let those stereotypes go and are open to being proven wrong.

I don't have a definitive definition, but that's pretty much the jist of it.

[Opinion Owner]

About knowledge you are certainly right, knowledge doesn't come with age but a open mind, people can be 90 years old and be ignorant or 12 yo and very knowledgeable. However knowledge is however also acquired by book learning so kid going to school have an advantage here, youth also meant a brain more suitable to learning.

It is however not the definition people are referring to, when saying "Wisdom come with age". It's really more a reference to experience, and naturally experience to come with age regardless of how you live your life.

In my personal view, true wisdom is however the positive and practical implementation of acquired knowledge. Meaning if you have learned smoking is bad for your health then a wise person would not begin to smoke, that is a positive and practical implementation (not smoking) based on acquired knowledge (the knowledge smoking is hazardous for your health).

[immaterial]

1. People get downvoted sometimes when others don't agree with them or feel their opinion is unhelpful. It's why the system is there. It's not an attack. You seem a little hung up on it.

2. I didn't start out insulting you. You chose to be dismissive of arguments, to suggest those disagreeing with you lacked understanding, noted how unimpressed you were, and keep bringing up the downvote. I'm not certain what kind of response you were expecting after acting like that.

3. I'm not really that concerned with establishing credibility so as to change your mind. Persuading people is generally not easy, especially if they think their opinion is the truth and if they start out being dismissive. The asker already suggested I was correct.

4. My communication teachers were quite impressed. But you'd have to take my word on that.

[immaterial]

@asker
Adults do often expect children to behave in a well mannered fashion with the threat of punishment if they don't. Whereas in the adult world, manners only matter in certain situations. It makes me wonder whether or not well mannered children are actually well mannered or simply faking it till they make it as it were.

Or in the alternative, could it be that people become more bitter or jaded due to life experiences. And that others acting rude to them as they grow older makes them treat the world as it treated them? (Although to be honest I'm not really sure if children or adults are more well mannered)

[Opinion Owner]

@immaterial
1. I still don't agree with that kind of use of downvoted, but never mind.

2. "I didn't start out insulting you" ... you said I was wrong but I am not, if it was insulting or not is puly subjective just like my "insult" where.

3. "Persuading people is generally not easy" agreed, as yo "The asker already suggested I was correct." that just mean see though like you, it doesn't make your statements true. Ask yourself, when people say 'wisdom comes with age', how do they define wisdom in that context, the way I defined it or the way you and OP defined it, it quite clear how they define wisdom in that context I should think?

4. My communication teachers were quite impressed. But you'd have to take my word on that.

[Twright96]

That's not the only definition,
dictionary. com
1. the quality or state of being wise; knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight.
2. scholarly knowledge or learning:

[angelling]

IQ isn't to do with wisdom. It's your experiences in life that give the wisdom hence why older people are said to be more wise because they have experienced more of life.

by the way, I also put my sugar on after I poured the milk so it's on the actual biscuit and not lost in milk lol

[immaterial]

Is it your experience in life that grants wisdom?

The oracle at Delphi supposedly said that Socrates was the wisest man in Athens. And it was apparently Socrates's belief that this might be so because he alone seemed to willing to admit his own ignorance. Wisdom in this context is not simply knowing what one knows, but rather, knowing that which one does not know.

In that sense, experience does not grant wisdom.

[angelling]

Ooh that's good and very true. I still think experience plays into it though.

[SIGguy]

@immaterial I would like to build a church in your honor, sir. I love Socrates!

[Anonymous]

Age only brings wisdom if you pay attention and allow experience to change you. Many if not most people decide how things should be and try to make reality fit their picture rather than fitting their picture to reality

Youth though, well there really isn't any possibility there at all. Youth is inevitably callow. At best it's like a philosopher who has one great insight and tries to make it explain everything.

[LittleSally]

Intelligence has nothing to do with age. Experience does.

And I agree - not all older people are smart. Look at Jessica Simpson. Hahaha

[VampireEmpress]

of course it doesn't! I know plenty of older people who have massive amounts of debt, and are still adding to it even now.

[VampireEmpress]

by the way, your mytake was featured on the new gagtake: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a21909-become-an-editor-for-girlsaskguys

[BaileyisDarcy]

Oh really? Thanks for letting me know.

[lime_rampljuset]

One can have experience, but not wisdom or vice-versa. Or you can have both, but not be able to use them properly. Same can be applied with intelligence, knowledge, and understanding.

[MysteriousFlower]

I think experience equals to wisdom. Being knowledgeable or smarter helps too 😀

[Twright96]

Wisdom can be gained through experience, but, a lot of times people do not learn from these experiences. Knowledge gained from other sources other than aging contributes more to your overall wisdom than experience from aging.

[Anonymous]

I yes I completely agree u might find someone 18 years got a lot more wisdom than a 60 years old great take