Does Age Matter?

It used to be that the man would go out to work, the woman would stay home with the 2.4 children waiting for the moment that hubby walked through the door so she could greet him with a cocktail and make him feel like the world revolved around him.

Although it has long been common practice for men to marry a younger woman, you hardly ever saw couples where the woman was significantly older than the man. But, times they are a changing and so are relationships.

So, does age matter?

The romantic in me wants to say no. If the two of you love each other, than go for it; love will conquer all.
"A man in his 20's who is hitting his sexual peak may be pretty desirable to an older woman."

But the pragmatist in me says differently. Most relationships are difficult enough as it is, why add the social stigma of a large age difference into the mix? As forward thinking and politically correct as most of us would like to think of ourselves, society seems to display a certain level of scorn towards a woman dating a much younger man. Women who mainly date younger men are labeled as cougars. A young woman in a relationship with an older man may be labeled either as naive or a gold digger.

In either case the man is likely to be labeled a stud either for scoring a mature, experienced woman, or a hot young thing.

If you are an older woman, you might be asking "What's the harm in dating someone younger than me?" Assuming both parties are of a legal and consenting age there is probably little harm in dating it can be great confidence booster to feel like you've still got it and can get a younger man. While women tend to hit their sexual peak in their mid 30's and it can last throughout their late 40's, this is the same time a man of the same age might start having problems. So a man in his 20's who is hitting his sexual peak may be pretty desirable to an older woman. Younger men also tend to be more accepting and supportive of a career woman versus an older man who may have more traditional views of women and their roles.

More serious thought should be given however if you intend for your relationship to become more serious and long term. While everything might seem great in the honeymoon stage, how are you going to feel 5 or 10 years into your relationship? Will you still feel as attractive, or will you be worried that he's looking for a younger model? What if he decides he wants children and your biological clock is no longer ticking?

On the flip side if you are a young woman dating a significantly older man, you may be asking "What's the harm in dating someone older than me?" Once again we'll assume that you are not 15 and he is 30. While it might seem great to date a man with a job and a car versus an immature 15 year old boy, whose mom still has to drive him around, you have to wonder what the motivation of the older man is.

Assuming once again that you are both old enough to make such a decision there are certain factors you need to consider. "One Adult, one child and one senior please!" If you want children, think about your family dynamic. Although men can father children well into old age, is he going to want to take on kids? If so, how will your child feel about having a dad as old as his friend's grandparents? Or maybe he wants kids and you are nowhere near that point in your life.
"Sometimes we forget to think about long term issues when we are blinded by love."

Although there are many erectile dysfunction drugs on the market these days, is that something you want to contend with? While sex isn't everything, most couples will admit it is a big part of their relationship. If he is feeling less than confident in the bedroom, that will almost certainly affect your level of intimacy.

If his health declines as he gets older are you willing to take care of him? Is money going to be an issue if he retires with a young family? Sometimes we forget to think about long term issues when we are blinded by love. While these things may not be enough to keep you apart, they are definitely things you will want to plan for.

So, I'm not sure if age matters but maturity plays a big role. If you are both at the same level and want the same things out of your relationship, then I say go for it. Most things that are worthwhile come with a challenge and a May/December relationship is no different.
Does Age Matter?
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Most Helpful Girl

  • siava
    I've been going out with a guy for 5 years now who is 5yrs younger than me, we're both in our 20s... our maturity level meets, I find him more mature than myself actually, I also look way younger than him ..we want the same things in life and are dedicated towards making a good life together, so both working hard for our future. He's mature than the older guys I dated .. all depends and varies from per to person, compatibility is the key. Difference should be closer to your age so as to avoid prbs
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Panopticus
    Much is said about "Love" but caring plays a huge part too. The first full flowering of love needs to have a good baseline of caring - if a 25 year old woman decides she wants a relationship with a 50 year old man its not an absolute that sex is a main component - it may be that she wants to share an interest and have conversations that her own age-group cannot possibly offer, the caring is a part of that deep level of attraction. If he ails and needs care she will be there for him willingly.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • luvlikearollacosta
    This made me think, the only relationships that we put age restrictins on, is In-love relationships, not really emphesized on friendships. Like people take care of their grandparents when they are old, but it can be different if it was over a wife/husband
  • rianneng
    I personally think that age is not the matter while involved in love relationship. But, in long term period , it's may have a problem on outlook matter and household planning with this of so-called

    May/December relationship.
  • the-temple-of-doom
    I belief not if the love is strong enough than nothing can stop it even you're worst enemey can't break you up
  • skyrocketbursts
    No age does not matter if people love each why should age matter
  • stephanie99
    This is a great and insightful article, thank you!