Bad mistakes smart people make

[DanHart]

(I just added a song that remembered me about my depression)

Intelligent people have lots of unusual issues.

As someone who has been through many unpleasant things due to being different from the rest, and who had to learn how to deal with being different, I thought I'd share my advice on how to avoid bad mistakes such people make.

Don't get me wrong, by "being different" I'm not referring to being something special that's "better than the rest", in fact the "being different" I mean makes you feel like you're the worst kind of person there is out there. That's how I used to feel.

To add some more details, I had a severe depression from 16 to 18 and needed therapy. I needed proffesional help and am glad I did it, although I refused at first- out of fear.

Dear people who notice they don't fit in or who feel like they are worthless, you are firstly not alone and secondly this is only a figment of your imagination.

Take care with the things you say, others might not be able to get your humor, smart people can crack jokes others may find "disturbing" or they won't get the irony - in my case they didn't get that I don't take myself too seriously.

Never ever talk about your IQ, if you have had to take such a test, and please don't take any online test seriously, those are for fun at most.

Don't be so hard on yourselves, others will not be as hard on you as you are on yourself. Don't judge the hell out of yourself, you are who you are and that is okay : ) (Really)

Give other people chances. Just because someone is not on your intellectual level, and you can't discuss your topics you are most intrigued of, doesn't mean those people won't make great friends for life - does a workout buddy need to know everything about North Korea ? No.

At parties, use your general knwoledge to strike up convos, but keep it simple and light and humorous, don't overdo the humor though.

Don't develop unpleasant habits. Smart people tend to develop traits that acutally contradict their personalities and do things to get attention, like uninetntionally talking about themselves, they do this because they subconsciously try to find out whether the other person is like-minded and on the same page.

Don't get stuck up with an ideology and don't be overly opinionated. Bright people often find joy in debating and defending their views- but this way you present yourself based on an ideology you chose for yourself, and not the acutal you with all your flaws and postivie sides.

People will value you for how well you can interact with them and not for how well you can show your viewpoint.

If you have bad grades at school, it could be for a ton of reasons : The syllabus and the teaching methods are not tailored for your needs and capability. It's not normal to start learning a language at native level without grammar books or excercises or learning words actively.

Don't let negative experiences you made with people influence you when it comes to completely new people. Smart people analyze a a lot and overthink and think logically - if this "normal" person traeted me like that, this new person is going to do the same with me. - Not true at all !

Don't talk about the things you are naturally good at - others will take notice and may cherish you for your gits.

I hope this is useful.

[NearlyNapping]

Many of these things apply to everyone, not just smart people. I don't agree with all of those but I won't go into it now. I'll add a few more though.

Humans are smart, not just smart humans. Even the average human is smart. even below average humans are smart. Give them some credit already.

A person with an IQ of 180 can be wrong about something, while a person with an IQ of 80 can be right.

A person with an IQ of 70 can teach a person with an IQ of 170.

High Intelligence is vastly over rated. People who are average or above average rate the importance higher than those with exceptionally high intelligence. People with exceptional intelligence tend to downplay it and write it off as if it's not a big deal.

Intelligence and happiness don't seem to correlate in any way whatsoever. So lighten up already, have fun, and don't be so damn serious. The world is not coming to an end because of whatever you are being serious about. Lighten up and have fun.

Emotions, love, fun, acting silly, human relationships - they are all logical whether you see the reason why or not. Accept it and join the crowd. There doesn't have to be a damn reason anyway. But there is.

[joaninhagirl]

I can relate a lot with everything you wrote in here. I myself also went through a depression because of the same reason. The number one thing that I learned and try to apply to my life is this: stop being the center of your world. We, smart people, tend to overthink so much but all we do is thinking about ourselves. It's me, me, me. We have to stop this and start living to make other people happy. We can do this in many simple ways, do voluntary work, helping someone with a jog/essay, interacting with animals. This is SO important.

[DanHart]

exactly, that's why you can easily come off as arrogant, which smart people are usually not : They are so smart , they don't take the fact that it's likely that anyone's is very good at something and cherish other too. Often, smart people are incredibly self-conscious and have a cripplingly low self-esteem - why? - because they were not appreciated by their peer group in many cases

[black_skinny_jeans]

I can relate to everything you said. I'd used to be so insecure because I've always had average grades and my mom used to ask me how can I be so stupid when I got a bad grade. She always pressured me about my grades because she and dad always got straight A's and never missed a day of school while I skipped a lot because I'd used to get bullied. I know I shouldn't talk about the topics I'm really good at but sometimes I can't help but say a thing or two about psychology and earn a few weird looks for it. I'm really interested in it and basically no one I've met understands my need to discuss it and try to figure it out even more :P
Then again, no one really understands me.

[Gommers]

I don't know how old you are but you know what depression is kind of like from 16-18 you got a glimpse. Now imagine being depressed for over a decade; waking up thinking about how you want to kill yourself, going to sleep disappointed that you haven't died.

It's so bad that even a decade of therapy can't fix my issues, I can't trust people I'm terrified of trusting anyone to the point that I find any reason I can to not go out, I can't hold jobs, I can't function as a normal member of society, I work shifts where I don't have to deal with anyone that would be considered normal functioning... My life is a clusterfuck a mere few years from death at the age of 25 almost 26. I probably won't make it to my mid 30s and I'll probably be homeless before the time of my death. I know these are the probabilities, I now that things won't get better for me I'll only get more numb.

[DanHart]

In depth psychology is likely to help you there. Really. The therapist will unlock your unconscious and will dig deep down there and find your issues

[MysteriousFlower]

I do believe I'm more insightful than most of my peers. I learned not to talk about things I'm good at, pure bases of people having jealously issues. I also come to a point of not letting most negative situations not effect me, especially while people can't understand why I am passionate about certain things or the way I think. It was useful 😉

[DanHart]

In a book, I read : "And they intuitively avoided the highly intelligent child" - the other kids practically smelled that other child's differentness from 1000 miles away.
There is also something called "fear of the unknown : Normal people will be afraid of you if you show some things of yourself too much to the outside world. They will avoid you therefore

[MysteriousFlower]

Sounds right :D

[bubble_tea]

Those mistakes aren't all that bad if those are the only mistakes smart people make :) May I ask you do you still go to therapy or is it not necessary anymore once you are cured?

[DanHart]

I used to make these mistakes often without knowing they are mistakes. It only got me into trouble.
If the person who is dealing with knows you well and understands you, then they are not such a big deal.
But they are a big deal when it comes to completely new people.
I started feeling much better about myself after turning 19. I grew up a lot and changed a lot.
I don't need therapy anymore, I quit about 1 year ago. I still feel blue sometimes though, but as long as this is not a prevalent feeling, it's natural

[bubble_tea]

Are you a little like Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory? I think it helps if you have a friend like Leonard who can jokingly tell a new person like Penny about your quirks. Or if you say it before or at the latest after their first shocked look haha.
I know that nobody likes to tell strangers about his own weaknesses right off the bat, but I think completely new people would make it less of a deal if they knew why someone acts weird.
Of course, your tips work as well.. but it sounds like you always have to watch out and stay on your toes. It seems rather stressful to me.

I'm glad to hear that :)

[DanHart]

I think I have a good insight into human nature and can tell who I am dealing with quickly, but am not fast with drawing a final picture of the, That's never good nor would I be right to do this because people are never "done" and keep developing.

No, I'm not like Sheldon Cooper. I'm actually an extrovert and a social butterfly, but how can a butterfly fly where there is no room for it? Feeling so out of place at school was one big reason as to why I got so depressed..

[Almageste]

Can I get your Skype or WhatsApp? I need to talk to someone about my own depression, some parts (every part) of your Take almost made me cry.

[DanHart]

I am deeply sorry to hear that :(( But I am by no means a therapist. I understand that you want to reach out to someone with similar experiences, but it would be much much better for you to consult a therapist. I know it's tough, but trust someone who know you with this, your parents for example if possible. I'm very sorry

[DanHart]

Maybe I could help out with first aid. Feel free to send me a message

[R3d_Anonymous]

I can so relate, most nearly the feeling alone and being super hard on myself.

Thanks!

[mexborough]

yes, and smart people are perfect.