Society & Politics

People who rationalize why they're doing the wrong thing



I live with someone who can't completely admit when they are wrong. They will admit it, but there is always a rationalization that follows.



For example:


I shouldn't argue with my grandmother as much as I do, BUT she's always saying stupid stuff.


I shouldn't have hit you; that was wrong, BUT it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't called me a liar.



That second example actually happened. I called them a liar over and over, annoyingly. I shouldn't have done that. I admit it. ....and there is no BUUUUUT coming, because im not going to make an excuse for it. I even told them that I was wrong and I shouldn't have done that. They replied with the second example. So in the end, I felt like I was the villain and they were the victim, even though I was the one with a bruised face.


If they had cut out the excuse part of that statement, I wouldn't have felt bad in the end.


For example: I shouldn't have hit you; that was wrong on my part. I am sorry.


This is an everyday occurence. They do something wrong, but then they make some half-assed excuse to make them feel like they didn't actually do anything wrong. During an argument, it would be surprising if they didn't do it at least twenty times. They will be the focus of the argument, but all of their rationalizing turns it around onto me or someone else in the house in the end. All of those excuses make it so you can't blame them for what they did. Yeah, I did it, but blahdy blah blah. (so therefore I didn't do anything wrong!)


People who rationalize why they're doing the wrong thing


It is as if they are using their admittance of doing something wrong as a way to perpetuate their behavior. They will admit their wrongdoing, then they make an excuse/rationalization that either puts someone else on the chopping block or makes it seem like what they did wasn't that bad. Afterwards, things are mixed up. They should be feeling bad, but it is the exact opposite. They're fine while everyone else who was involved in the argument feels like something didn't go right or as planned. And since the person made so many excuses and rationalizations as to why they did what they did, they feel it is alright for them to do it again, as long as they can keep using those rationalizations to defend themselves with. It is sickening and getting very old very quickly.



I am just curious to hear other people's stories about this particular subject so that I can gather ideas on how to deal with it. Thanks.



People who rationalize why they're doing the wrong thing
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