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I know, I know. A lot of people are gonna take this as a "sexist" post, even though it isn't, but a lot are already tuning this out, so for the rest of you interested in hearing a different perspective, let's walk and talk.
We've all heard it said that females mature faster than guys, according to studies, and that overall women are just more mature. But I beg to differ. Using the "studies have shown" argument to me just seems like a blanket way to dismiss the whole situation and say females are always above guys in this area, and especially when females themselves try to use it to prove their maturity, that seems immature to me.
There is a difference...
I think there is more to maturity than just a gender write-off of genetics or brain development. Both genders are actually mature/immature differently. Scientists (and females) like to note silly behavior from guys to denote our immaturity, when there can actually be a difference between silly behavior and maturity at times. A guy can make jokes about penises or joke about girls' bodies and play video games, while a girl doesn't do any that and has an appearance of maturity because of the way she talks, yet the guy's maturity could be tested and shown in a very serious situation where the female didn't have enough maturity to handle it or make a good judgment. For example, he might do all that silly stuff, but would maturely and courageously know how to stand up to somebody gossipping about him or someone else, while the female dildn't because she's worried about people disliking her, and because she herself is a gossip. Or, he might do all that silly stuff, but realize that a relationship he's in with a girl isn't working because she's toxic and actually hurting him, and he has the courage to tell her about herself and break it off; whereas a girl in a bad relationship isn't mature or courageous enough to walk away from it, even though she knows her guy is a cheater or abusive.
Also, society tends to be deaf and dumb to immaturity in women. We're programmed to not say anything bad about females and to see them as having superior maturity, even when they're acting dumb. Whenever a girl does silly stuff like a guy might, we as a society no doubt think she's being stupid, but we don't think of her as being immature because of her gender, and we will also think she's just doing that stuff to impress guys. Her gender's maturity doesn't come into question, just her behavior gets criticized. And at other times, people will even think it's funny when a female does the same immature stuff a guy might, but we'll think it's stupid when he does it.
Females have immaturity in their own ways...
Most people don't really think about it, but females have immaturity in their own ways. We're taught to zero in on any immaturity guys have, and don't even recognize what goes on vice versa. We may call these female immaturities silly or ridiculous, but won't recognize them for what they really are. But I'll tell you what I think:
I think it's immature when females have a particular dislike for someone and try to influence their girlfriends to dislike them too. I think it's immature when females want to call a guy "sexist" and "butthurt" for every little thing. I think it's immature that females gossip - and will hate it when guys talk about what girl they slept with among each other, yet women will talk about what girl they think - or may really know - is sleeping with everybody. I think it's immature for females to be so desperate for commitment yet are the ones who call for divorce 80% of the time.
I think it's immature when a female wants to have sex with other women under the guise of "experimenting" because they're irritated that guys they slept with didn't know how to get them off, so now she thinks sleeping with women will be better.
I think it's immature that females don't want people knowing their age because they want to look young forever, which is funny because in teenhood females love it when people say how grown up and developed they look, but then get older and want the reverse. Not to mention they think the male "midlife crisis" is a joke, yet they fear getting wrinkles and looking old and want to turn to Botox, hair dye, and younger men.
I think it's immature that females attempt suicide so much, turning to that for people to pay attention to them or because they can't deal. We talk about how male suicide rates are higher - which is true because males' methods are more full proof, but women attempt suicide at far greater rates, and if their methods were as successful as men's the female suicide rate would rival men's 3 to 1.
I think it's immature for women to want men of such high value - "having standards" they call it - yet don't even look at themselves to see if they're even worthy of such men, but will think so because a study said they're emotionally capable.
And I think it's immature when females are pretentious and want to convince us that soooo many guys hit on them or are into them more than they really are, just because a guy was polite or acted very kind or even got a bit flirty. Chill. We do it with lots of females because we just like being charming.
It isn't about biology...
It's also been said - and mostly by women - that females are more complex than males, and if this is really true it would actually indicate that it takes them longer to mature than guys. Brain sizes and brain growth differences in genders really means little at the end of the day, it's more about what goes on on the inside. Some people say the experiences we have can determine maturity in each of us, and I think that's true to an extent. Some people will have experiences that are supposed to mature them, but it ends up not working that way. It's about what's in the inside that makes us develop.
So I think maturity and immaturity differ with the genders, beyond just what experts like telling us.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Many guys tend to do the same exact things you said immature females do such as attempting suicide, hiding their age<---(guys also get botox, facelifts, hair dyes, and hair transplants as well), having higher standards <---(according to a survey I found online, most men were afraid of meeting someone "fat" online while most women were afraid of meeting a serial killer), and gossiping<---(there is nothing more gossipy than a male locker room). Do you deem those scenarios as "immature" when a guy does them? In that part, I disagree with you.
However, I do agree that maturity and immaturity differ with genders as there are both mature/immature males/females. Although, studies conducted by neurologists and psychologists have confirmed that the female brain tends to develop faster than the male brain, supporting the idea that girls mature quicker than boys.
Males definitely can do those things you stated, but I think it's more common among females, was the point.
Faster brain development is a physical thing, with no link to emotional or character development. Just like how girls can look grown and mature physically, but don't act like it.
So, what is your definition of maturity?
Being able to think and act with good judgment, developed character and understanding, and thinking for yourself.
I like that. Do you think that being self aware as well as being able to empathize with another person or gender should be included in your definition?
@juliaanita You could say that, yeah. But if you're trying to imply that this is already females I wouldn't entirely agree with you.
no, no. Not implying anything.
Just plumbing the depths of your take.
Maybe girls/women mature differently then men.
Different roles are expected from each gender, and so maybe emotional and social maturity looks different in a woman than in a man.
I am pretty sure that statistically though, we physically mature earlier then boys. I know that I had entered puberty, as did many of my girl friends, much earlier than the boys of the same age in my class.
Or maybe men and boys mature differently than women. I think males actually have more maturity than women and society really give us credit for, and that females are not by default as mature as they're given credit for.
Physical development has little to do with emotional and character development. A girl can have a developed chest and body and look grown, but act far from it, as we do see.
I think i will agree with that statement:)
I do think though that physical maturity does something to do with emotional and social maturity.
Not really it doesn't, but explain it if you can.
Rather than explain, i will just turn you on to a number of sources, all journalistically respected: <a target="_blank" class="media-link" href="https://healthland. time. com/2013/12/19/why-girls-brcercor. oxfordjournals. org/.../cercor. bht333. fully-girls-often-mature-faster-boysttp://www. eurekalert. org/pub_releases/2013-12/nu-bcm121913. php, as well as:
https://www. psychologytoday. com/blog/the-athletes-way/201312/scientists-identify-why-girls-often-mature-faster-boys and finally, most importantly:
https://cercor. oxfordjournals. org/content/early/2013/12/13/cercor. bht333. full
To be honest? None of these would be anything I haven't already heard, and wouldn't change my mind. That was the point of this post, to show how CONTRARY TO WHAT THE EXPERTS SAY, there's more to maturity than their overused dissertations.
Physical development and brain functions don't imply maturity. If females use both sides of the brain while the male uses one side, it might mean that the female NEEDS to use both sides. And just because a girl has periods before a boy has puberty doesn't imply sooner maturity, and if so then would mean girls should be doing stupid things less like getting pregnant and wanting to be in relatonships fast without having enough emotional development first. To name a few.
What i am thinking, from an objective point of view, is, should we believe the experts, the scientists and doctors who have studied in depth the question of gender based maturity and who can articulate with data proof a cogent argument?
Or should we believe you?
That isn't meant to insult.
But for expert advice on any subject, I think it is prudent to trust the experts.
That is why i go to a doctor when i am sick, and not to a carpenter.
Then that would be your problem. No one has to believe me, and I wouldn't really care, but if you choose to trust the experts in good faith that they understand it better than anyone else, it sort of says one doesn't have much of an incentive to deduce and think for themselves about a situation. These are the same people who now say that females are more sexually flexible just because they'll fuck anything and are open to sleeping with other women. These are the same people who are telling us foods are giving us cancer. The same people who mess up the census numbers every decade. The same people that say somebody is gonna grow up gay because they have more brothers than sisters or vice versa. And these people have done all the in depth research you mention, and come to nothing but less than intelligent conclusions to me.
Curious, though. I wonder if the experts did in depth research and proved males were actually more mature despite females' developing sooner if you'd doubt that.
No these are not the same people. Not by a long shot. That is an invalid statement for many different reasons.
I believe in the scientific method if you understand the full extent of what that means, which proposes a thesis and then proves or disproves it by experimentation and analytical data. If there is a preponderance of evidence for a thesis, then I would believe it, unless proven otherwise. You can make up any thesis you want, that pigs can fly, or cows can lay eggs, or that boys mature faster than girls. But if there is no evidence for such a statement other than anecdotal evidence or opinion (both of which have never been considered rigorous evidence either in science or a courtroom) then the thesis can hardly be taken as fact.
As for your last question; I am not prejudiced. If the preponderance of evidence did prove that boys emotionally matured more quickly than girls,
... I would be the first to accept it as fact.
Afterall, as a woman, I have been told about the superiority of the male species my whole life:)
Then that would probably be the most underlying basis for why you feel women are more mature. Females have a tendency to look for credit or we're-better-in-this-area to compensate for what they think they've been short-changed in.
Scientific theses and whatnot still don't cut it for me, no.
No, "females" don't tend to look for credit to compensate. And i have never been shortchanged in anything.
And there is no underlying basis, as you say.
The only basis upon which I believe any fact is a scientific basis.
Where do you get these ideas about women?
You know of course that the reason you go down the road in a vehicle powered by a liquid is on account of science.
or why a doc can see inside you without cutting you open like a fish is a result of science.
or why a 100 ton piece of metal can fly through the air without strings attached is a result of science.
My gosh, if you really don't believe in science but base your actions on opinion and conjecture, how do you find the courage to step out of your house in the morning? The sky might fall on you. You might float off the ground or fall of the side of a flat earth.
I don't doubt ALL science, and your argument isn't anything I haven't already heard, but when it comes to humanity concerning maturity and deep inner human things like that, I'd rather not trust science to help me out with that. For you, you need that to help you make a sound decision. For me, I go by using my own thinking, observation, and understanding of people, and have an ability to think for myself.
Here's another way to look at maturity in genders: males and females from other nations tend to be more or less mature than ones in other nations, particularly more mature than Americans. So it says something about their upbringing and culture, which can affect maturity far more than biology.
And, yes, women do tend to do that. I hear women more often than men talk about what they think they're better at or superior in than men, than vice versa. I guess they just need to feel good about something.
Here also is a link to an article on using critical thinking apart from science, a very wonderful article someone shared with me a few years ago: www.criticalthinking.org/.../408
So thank you for the conversation. i will concede that you have made many good points and I respect you because you haven't been at all nasty. I will say that I don't need something to feel good about myself.
I already do.
Anyway thank you for the good conversation! Anytime you want to think about things with me, let me know.
Yeah, that was actually all I was gonna have to say anyway, lol. For the record, I posted a question the other day about your idea that physical maturity affects overall maturity and most people said they didn't think so.
I have heard girls get matured faster...