Society & Politics

SPACE SOCIOLOGY (i was bored so I went to space)


SPACE SOCIOLOGY (i was bored so i went to space)



I was bored today so i decided to build a spaceship with an FTL-wormhole-warp-engine-thingy out of some old washing machine parts, a brick of cocaine, the soul of an ancient zoroastrian philosopher, loads of science and a zombie cat, which being simultaneously dead and alive enabled me to reverse and utilize schrodinger’s paradox.


I explored inter-stellar space for a while, which was pretty cool, but after a while became a bit samey, until i found a super advanced alien race! despite never having had any contact with earth, they just happened look exactly like humans, except for the lumpy heads, and they spoke perfect English, which was a dashed handy coincidence!


so me and some of their leaders got to chatting about stuff and it turned out that despite being technologically advanced well beyond humanity, there was a lot of stuff they hadn’t invented, like automatic guns, atomic and chemical weaponry and cassette players, which was a bummer ‘cause I’d brought a mix tape half way across the galaxy for them. so i taught them all about these things while they taught me all about their culture, which was very interesting, they viewed the leader’s both as servants and lowly administers to the people, and as paragons of honesty and justice. i was going to ask how they managed to keep the people convinced of their honesty but it turned out that they actually DID just tell the truth about stuff!!


Needless to say, they were awful at manipulating the people, and the poor guys had terrible quality of life, they had to live normal lives like commoners!! so i taught them how to better them selves by taking advantage of the people they have power over so as to gain even more power and have lotsa money and have affairs and stuff, which i also had to teach them about ‘cause they had this funny notion of relationship being important and meaningful and not to be exploited for some reason..


so, one of them asks me, “I say. what of the others? if we are to take all of the funds for our selves and our mistresses, then there would surely be an inadequacy of resources with regard to the remaining populous?” so i go on to explain that once they begin to establish the foundations of an inequitable class structure, the people at the bottom will slowly begin to accept their lot, and if it becomes too much of a problem they can always take extra resources from yonder lands with their new weapons technology!


all of this innovating would have made me very rich once I’d established an exploitative capitalist structure like a proper human society, but i couldn’t be arsed with all the bureaucracy involved in making a bank account, also they had this weird system of having their banking controlled by a trustworthy establishment body rather than handing their entire economic infrastructure to private individuals to gamble with, that was all far to complicated for me so i just came home, but they said they’d visit earth soon, once they’ve got the weapons manufacturing underway and got all of my reformative ideas in play, won’t that be nice.

SPACE SOCIOLOGY (i was bored so I went to space)
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