So why do you still smoke?

[helithchambers]

It's Wednesday afternoon. I had just finished some chores, cleaning and washing the floor. My mom's phone starts buzzing and the display shows "hidden number" -- it's my grandmother. I hand the phone to my mom and sit down next to her. I usually stand by when my mom talks to my grandmother because the conversation usually concludes with my mom bursting into tears. This time would be no different.

My grandmother has been battling lung cancer for 5 years now and 3 years ago the doctors gave her the death sentence. She's been through a lot of treatment but it all made her feel worse. She's denied further treatment and palliative care. The only medication she takes is for her pain.

My grandmother has been smoking her entire life and even though she hasn't got a lot of time left, she's still smoking. She's tried to quit, she knew she had to if she would have even a small chance to beat the cancer but it didn't last.

A small part of me thinks she's embraced the fact that she won't be here for Christmas. My grandmother didn't have it easy and neither did my mom. But knowing what I know about my mom's childhood, I feel more anger than sorrow when I see her cry. She's hurting. She's hurting bad and she's done everything in her power to remain strong, for herself, for us and for her mother. I dread the day I will share her pain. Because surely losing both parents the same way is a pain close to the indescribable.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who's lost grandparents to cancer. My grandfather died from lung cancer due to smoking back in 2008. His wife the year after, also lung cancer from smoking. So in terms of having proof of the damage caused by smoking, both my grandparents will be my argument.

I've always hated smoking. I hate the smell, the smoke and the selfishness that comes with the person holding the cigarette.

When I was 14, I found my best friend smoking a cigarette. The next day we weren't best friends anymore.

I simply won't get attached to someone who's so careless and selfish, dancing with death thinking that life is about taking as many risks as possible, using the idiotic quote that says you only live once. Yes, you do. And you don't get a second chance.

I know that I have no business telling others what to do. I know there's a bigger chance of being hit by a car than to get lung cancer from smoking, but it's all a coin toss. Having both my grandmother, grandfather, his wife, die from lung cancer is confirmation enough for me that no matter what, the coin may not land in your favor. You never know.

Statistics show that people who have been smoking for years and stop, still get cancer later in life as a result of their choices. The past literally comes back to bite you in the butt.

When I first learned that my brother had started to smoke, I became both sad and angry. I couldn't believe that he could do something so hurtful to his family and put us in risk of having to lose him one day. I still feel like that because he still smokes.

"He's just having fun" he says. And there's absolutely no changing his mind. He knows the dangers, the risks. He comes home coughing, the smell is as stuck to him as he is to it.

Saying that the day the coin doesn't land in his favor, he'll probably realize how stupid he's been, is both twisted and true. Merely telling him that he's not the best candidate for smoking, both due to tendency and risk factors, won't make him stop.

At times, I think that the consequences of smoking should be limited to the person alone and not the family. But the hurt that is the consequence, always affect the family and dear ones the most.

Not all choices should be your own. Especially this one.

[QuestionMan]

I heard a joke once about smoking.
2 guys go up to their friend at work and say "let's go out for a smoke break", the guy responds "I quit actually". The 2 guys are shocked since their friend would smoke more then them and now he suddenly quit. So they ask him "What made you quit?" he responded by saying "Someone told me to imagine that those cigarettes are penises and that every time I put one in my mouth I'm giving giving a guy a bj". The 2 guys spit out their cigarettes IMMEDIATELY. Then they saw one of their attractive female coworkers and one of them asked "Do you smoke?", she replied "No, I don't" and one of the guys said "You should start".

[Kiwedin]

I feel the same about people who just, generally, don't care about living healthy lifestyles. Nearly my whole family is obese and type 2 diabetic (among other health problems) but then go and eat McDonald's and have bacon for breakfast every morning. It pisses me off to hear them complain about their health problems because it's nobody else's fault but their own. I just hate the whole mindset of people having illnesses just "happening" to them, because in reality 80-90% of all illnesses are directly caused by poor diet and unhealthy lifestyles. 10-20% is genetics.

[Rainie_]

Well personally, ever since I lived in Beijing (one of the most polluted cities in the world) I've just cared less about smoking and what it does to your body because compared to the pollution it's literally nothing. 😐😐

I guess I also care less about it because my grandpa is a heavy smoker for life and strangely still going strong at 80, even though he's survived through prostate cancer as well, no sight of lung cancer yet.

Also, tried out smoking a few times, never got addicted, neither have I ever bought cigarettes for myself in my life, only do it socially if I feel like it. And of course I do still recognise the possible health effects of smoking but honestly to me I see smoking as no different than alcohol. Sure alcohol seems okay if you just drink it every now and then, I could say the same about smoking, it's fine if you do it once in a while. But as soon as you start doing it every day it becomes bad. Imagine drinking alcohol every day, several times a day. I'm pretty sure the effect would be almost as bad as smoking every day would be?

But even so, cancers, heart attacks, diseases can happen no matter how healthy you try to be so yeah, I ain't got no time to be all fussy about this and that 🙄

[DarkIndividual]

I honestly don't know why people continue to smoke. I had to watch my own father slowly kill himself day by day. He was diagnosed with lung cancer when I was 4 and given a death sentence 3 years later, but he hasn't died yet. Instead, he spends the rest of his life smoking a pack or two a day. Being a child, I used to cry and pray for his survival. It hurt me a lot to see him suffer from that, but he never once stopped! I guess it's his painkiller. Emotional pain, physical pain... He feels safer with it.
Personally, I despise cigarettes. I visited on weekends. Every night (that's two nights a week), I'd be kept up from all the heat, smoke, and coughing. His home would get very hot, especially in the winter (he has a wood stove), and the smell is awful. He smokes inside so often that the stench is permanent. Any items I brought there reeked of smoke for at least 2 years, and I started taking hand sanitizer because I hate the smell that lingers on my hands.
I still don't understand. Why don't they quit? They know they're dying, and they know it hurts others... Although, I can understand why he began smoking. It was to replace his alcohism. He wanted to raise children but was unable to, so he dropped it for his smoking addiction. And, according to EVERY smoker I know, it's addicting as hell. There's just something about it that they find unresistable.

[Spiorad_Aisce]

I smoked quite heavily for about 15 years - The best thing I ever did was give them up - Apart from long term health implications, your breath and clothes don't smell, your skin doesn't look like a 50 year old leather jacket, your fingers aren't yellow, you can train harder and can take part in sports better - You don't have to leave a bar or restaurant every half hour to go out in the wind and rain for quick cigarette - All this before the fact you will probably live 20/30 years longer without having breathing or lung problems in the latter stages of your life.

[Stacyzee]

This was a good article to read , I just disagree with the part where you refer to smoking as being selfish.
Everyone smokes for different reasons there is no need to group all people in one box.
Some smoke to be cool.
Some smoke as a way to escape their pain.
Someone who smokes as a way to escape their pain isn't selfish. They are a person that is hurt , that found the most destruction way to "help themselves cope".
I don't think you should judge those that do. I like to have empathy to understand every individual because I know everyone shares a different story.
"You made your bed so lie in it" I will not stop talking to someone because they are handling life in a way that I would not.
I feel so deeply for you that you've experienced pain in your life by seeing those you love succumb to their addiction , but offering resentment towards someones lives decision only worsens their blow and misery (depending on why they are smoking in the first place).

[helithchambers]

That was not at all what I meant. It's selfish because it doesn't just affect the person who smokes. It affects others and for multiple reasons. I'm not judging anyone but it seems that people who didn't read it all just automatically comest to the conclusion because I question their choice. This was meant to raise the concerns others have when one they care about smokes.

I'm not attacking anyone. My brother smokes because he thinks it's cool. And so I agree with you but I'm not passing judgment on anyone or looking down at people who smoke.

[Anonymous]

You're right. You don't have any business telling others what to do.

Literally everything everyone does is selfish. Everything is about the self. If a parent jumps in front of a bullet to save their child, they're not doing it for the child. They're doing it because they have weighed advantage and disadvantage and determined that they would rather die than watch their child die. They are saving *themselves* pain. That's not a bad thing. Selfishness isn't innately bad. But don't use it as a means to say "You're not thinking of me," because you're not thinking of them, either.

Too bad. Their choice. So stop being a judgmental bitch.

[helithchambers]

What a load of bullshit. Wanting someone else to live a long and happy life isn't selfish. That wish has nothing to do with one self. It's solely based on the desire to see people succeed in life and be happy. Your entire comment is based on the idea that we should not care about others and if we do, it's because we're selfish. That's complete and utter bullshit.

[Opinion Owner]

Delude yourself all you like. At some point, you're going to realize that the only reason you have the perceptions you do, is because you have something to gain from them.

[helithchambers]

The only one who's deluded is you with your extremely tragic view on people. I feel sorry for you. But hopefully one day someone will show you that people are perfectly capable of caring for others including someone like you.

Have a great day.

[Opinion Owner]

"Someone like you." That wasn't self-serving at all.

[Opinion Owner]

And like I said. Selfishness doesn't have to be a bad thing. You only perceive it that way. I never said people can't care about other people. But ultimately, the only reason anyone does anything or believes anything is because it benefits themselves. You're stuck in your perception of selfishness as equally bad, even after I explained it.

Sure. You have a good day bitching at cigarette smokers and whining about what other people do with their lives, selfishly telling them what they shouldn't do. What about fast food? What about exercise? Are you going to go around enforcing your perspective on how to live life? You would make a great fascist.

And I feel sorry for you. Because you're the deluded one, and it will be proven to you very harshly in the future. You'll learn that the only reality is the tragic one. Most everything else is delusion, trying to ignore reality to comfort yourself. And that will also lead to misunderstanding situations, causing pain.

[TripleAce]

Cancer usually occurs much later in your smoking career. If by chance you catch it early on its probably because your body was susceptible to the triggers more than the average person. There was a story about a bar tender that got cancer after 5 years of working from second hand smoke. She never smoked in her life (this was when smoking was allowed in bars).

Most people suffer from heart, strokes and various other smoking related problems before cancer ever hits you. But of course its a risk since we never know when it will just pop out of nowhere.

One doctor showed that most of his cancer smoking patients indicated signs of cancer around 300,000 smokes smoked. That's about 25 years of a pack a day.

Sorry to hear about her, cancer sucks. But this is probably the best time to smoke for her if she has been smoking her whole life. There's nothing left to lose... might as well enjoy what ever time you have left the way you want to.

[helithchambers]

I agree, but it still hurts like a bitch. I hate that it has to be this way. But I know you're right.

[Phoenix98]

I agree with the core message of the mytake, even as as smoker myself I don't like cigarettes, I mean I don't smoke them but I agree they are quite dangerous, it's not smoking itself or the tobacco that makes em dangerous though it's the man made chemicals and additives that we put into them to force you to get addicted to it and have horrible effects that make it so incredibly dangerous. If it weren't for those quitting for be incredibly easy.

But until a better alternative has been found to combat stress I'm afraid people will turn to drugs and cigarettes as an escape. But that being said smoking is anyone's right and our choice if we choose to do so and it's not anyone's place to say otherwise.

[BorehamBomber]

Smoking itself, is dangerous. Carbon Monoxide deprives blood cells of oxygen.

[BorehamBomber]

Also, meditation has been proven to combat stress.

[Phoenix98]

@BorehamBomber I never stated smoking itself wasn't dangerous I was referring specifically to what makes cigarettes as dangerous as they are the things man made things they add are more dangerous then the tobacco itself heck even the paper is more dangerous. And yes meditation will do that but most people don't have discipline or patience required for actual meditation or the mindset necessary.

[helithchambers]

Smoking is dangerous. The lungs weren't meant to be filled with particles or chemicals. We don't inhale sand either but that would probably be the best way to explain the damage of smoking. The lungs can clean themselves but not completely. And smoking puts a huge strain on the respiratory system and affects everything from your nose to your blood vessels.

I do agree with you. You're spot on. They deliberately made cigarettes addictive and you can probably guess why. The only ones who benefit from smoking are the companies that fabricates them. No man who has smoked has ever benefit from it. It's a short-term solution with long-term damage as a result for a problem that has so many other alternatives.

[Phoenix98]

Yeah your not telling me anything I don't already know, but I'll continue doing it anyway, life's to short and in reality death is a calculated risk, we have a X% chance to die or get sick or come down with something every second of every day.

Well they didn't used to be that way mind you not in the beginning they were no different then smoking pipe tobacco out of a tobacco pipe like I do now, but overtime they deliberately put chemicals and additives in there and made them what they are today. And agreed tis a short term solution.

[fueledbythc]

I try to quit and it's hard. Nicotine and the act of smoking is what I'm addicted to. I like vaping but it's just too bad for you as well. Going cold turkey is the best thing to do. I haven't had a smoke today due to being broke and I think I'll use this as an opportunity to quit.

[helithchambers]

Thumbs-up to you for trying. I'm in no way attacking smokers and sure, people can do whatever they want but I just want to keep my family safe and alive for as long as possible. I'm not forcing my brother to stop, but he knows where I stand and what think. If I could, then yes I would take that specific choice from him but I can't.

I get that it's one of the toughest things to do. So really, a round of applause to you and best wishes.

[fueledbythc]

I ended up throwing up and losing appetite because of the withdrawal. I also didn't do good on my clinical performance test today because of it and ended up venting on my teacher because of it. It's like I became another person. I still haven't had a smoke and I'm going to continue on it. I quit once before and I can do it again. Just gotta get past the first week.

[helithchambers]

You should be proud of yourself. And you have my deepest respect. Even if you don't make it, it's still a battle won because you tried.

[26ukdude]

Its an addiction. I smoked for 10 years and it took me half a dozen attempts to stop for good.

When the pain of withdrawal from a substance is greater than the want or need to stop so a person continues to use that drug despite negative consequences = addiction.

If you have never been addicted to nicotine, you cannot understand what it is like to stop.
I was only able to because I had a tailored plan and nicotine replacement therapy including patches and lozenges slowly tapered over several months plus meetings with a healthcare worker. Something like 3% of people can quit cold turkey and stay stopped...

[bluenose1872]

A fuck it we've all got to die of something. I've never been scared of it. My dad died of cancer 10 years ago and I tried to jack the smokes. Cut down but never got rid of them completely. It's stupid worrying about stuff like that. Worry is a big killer than cancer.

[Sojex]

I never understood why people are so against smoking but don't couldn't give 1 fuck about drinking. I think it's hypocritical. And I'm not assuming to know where you stand in the issue, I'm just saying that it's something that's always personally annoyed me.

[helithchambers]

People are against smoking because it's harmful to everyone no matter how much or little you smoke. Whereas alcohol can be controlled unless you're already addicted. I love beer and wine but I don't drink it every day and I don't chug down huge amounts.

"Almost six million people die from tobacco use and 2.5 million from harmful use of alcohol each year worldwide, the World Health Organization (WHO) reports."

If you smoke once, you're probably very likely to be drawn to the next and so on. The addiction builds itself up while people who drink are more likely to vomit than continue after a night in town. In my opinion, smoking is worse because it not only makes you a walking chimney but also has a higher chance of biting you in the ass later in life as mentioned in my take.

The liver can recover and regenerate which is quite lucky. Sadly the lungs don't possess such powers but they can restore most functionality after extensive smoking.

[Sojex]

There isn't even a term for someone who's addicted to smoking. The direct physical effects might be more damaging with smoking but in my opinion drinking is worse. I mean, you can stop smoking cold turkey, people do it. You can't do that with alcohol. Going cold turkey if your an alcoholic can cause hallucinations, convulsions, and even heart seizure that may result in death. And I'm just saying, you don't hear about families being torn apart due to someone smoking or terrible road accident caused by someone smoking. You never see people fight at bars or clubs cause they were smoking or domestic abuse related to smoking. I think people don't try and demonize alcohol cause that road was a failure with the whole prohibition thing. It's become so ingrained into society that it's sickening. I'm more concerned about that than I am cigarettes, honestly.

[helithchambers]

Luckily there's help for alcoholism but again here comes the funny thing. People guard their right to smoking with their lives. It's like if you just question it, they'll blow up in your face but with alcoholics it's different. "You shouldn't drink, you should get help, you know it's bad for you" - both things have a 50/50 chance of killing you. You never know. But people act differently to both. One they defend, the other they don't. Both are equally bad. That is what's hypocritical in my opinion.

And smoking does tear families apart. Especially when people die as a result from it.

But I respect your opinion.

[BlueCoyote]

@Sojex I completely agree. In fact, my uncle has died from life-long alcoholism. He's drank way too much over decades and well, one day 2 years ago his liver just couldn't take it anymore and my cousin had to find him dead on the kitchen floor. My mom on the other hand has been smoking for over 30 years and for all these years, she's always smoked exactly 2 cigarettes a day. One after lunch, one after dinner. Her smoking works like a Swiss clockwork. I can't remember a single day in my childhood where my mom was like "oh fuck it, today I'm gonna smoke a 5 cigarettes or 10 or maybe a whole box" It never happened. So this shows that it's not really about the substance. Some people can control themselves, other can't. Whether it's with tobacco or alcohol or fast food... you name it. I've smoked pot for a few years and I can't remember ever going overboard with it. I never smoked more than 1 joint a month. So it's not really right to say smoking is worse, it's about self-discipline.

[Song4TheBroken]

By your logic, people who drink are selfish, overweight people are selfish, people who don't exercise are selfish, people who eat excessive amounts of processed foods and red meats are selfish (links to cancer). There's a lot of people who do things that aren't good for their health. You gonna rant about them too?

But I agree that smoking is stupid, even though I used to do it. Just worry about yourself and stop trying to dictate how other people should live.

[helithchambers]

Perhaps I can dictate one last thing. Try and read it all again. If that's truly what you got from it, then it's not me that's faulty, it's you. There's not an ounce of judgment or dictation in that take. It's based solely on love for my family and those I care about. If you somehow missed that, get your glasses and read it again. Actually, read it until you get the real message: I care about my family and I don't want to lose them.

There's a ginormous difference between seeing someone whither away from cancer and seeing someone with diabetes or a bad liver. I've witnessed it 3 times and it's not pretty. It gets extremely ugly when they stop eating. The body slowly turns into a dressed skeleton. It's a sight you never forget.

Once again, I haven't said anything about forcing anyone to stop. I've actually said the opposite. I can't. But I wish.

Read it again.

[Song4TheBroken]

A bad liver? Right, because people don't die of liver failure or anything... or heart attacks and strokes from being overweight. The things I mentioned are just as tragic.

But yeah, I can appreciate how awful it is to lose a family member to cancer. I lost an auntie to cancer but not smoking related.

[Anonymous]

The biggest issue most people have is that they think people change because they know they should. People don't change because of what they know. People only change when they've discovered a better option. If she hasn't found something to replace her cravings for cigarettes it's not going away. Because that cigarette shaped hole will always beckon to be filled until something else can patch it up. Every smoker knows it's bad for them. Every smoker does it anyways.

[helithchambers]

Of course I know that. I've worked with smokers for 6 years and I know it's probably one of the toughest things to quit doing. But even if being faced with certain death, it just strikes you that the addiction is stronger than the mind. The physical craving beats the state of mind and has complete control. It's why hope that for some the battle ends before it starts. That people who contemplate or perhaps has just started, realize what they're about to enter. And that the risks aren't worth it.

It's not just about oneself either. I don't want my brother to stop for my sake. Well, I do but it's not the main argument I use. I want him to stop for his own so that he may live a long life without this unnecessary struggle. What use is there in adding more risks to a life that's already full of them? Life is short, it's fragile and it can end so sudden.

[Opinion Owner]

Your last sentence is the exact justification for most people's reckless behavior. You can live a life of caution and walk within the straight and narrow and still get killed at a random gas station for absolutely no reason. So many throw caution to the wind knowing that they're life probably wouldn't have been that much longer or more enjoyable anyways.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not justifying the smoking in just saying in my opinion it's better to just ignore a persons personally destructive vices and love what you can of them. Constantly aware of the inevitable death to come. Many people just don't believe a long life is better than a good one. You may feel like it's selfish but you can make absolutely everything sound like selfish behavior if you try hard enough.

[helithchambers]

Well, as I said in my take. My family is in the risk zone when it comes to cancer. My grandfather, his wife, both my grandmothers have it. You'd think that it would be enough to convince my brother to never start but it hasn't. He's saying he is just having fun but I think it's because all of his friends and his girlfriend smokes and he doesn't want to seem... Weak or something? My argument isn't just that smoking is bad and kills people. My argument is that it has killed most of my grandparents and they were all under 70. Sure, they could have died in other ways but it was lung cancer that claimed them.

I realize my brother might never stop. Perhaps it's too late to reach him. My grandmother didn't and she won't live to see another Christmas. But I wrote this hoping to keep some potential smokers or some who may just have started. Warning them about the damage it does not only to themselves but to others. Maybe not now but down the road.

[serious]

I never had that habit of smoking and not only that, I don't have any self destructive bad habits like smoking , drinking or drugs. I plan to lead a fit and healthy life.

[Decentguy]

i used to be a chain smoker 2 years ago, i smoke 2 packs a day, but i quited by making a promise to my self that i'll never smoke again. i used to smoke a lot because of the regular stress and depression, but then i thought that smoking is doing or helping nothing agains my stress tension or depression, my dad still smokes but when he does i just get out of that room. now by the grace of God its been 2 years im smoke free.

[NedfromtheNed]

Its what all the cool kids are doing!
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[lopflodin]

was like 8 when i first stole on of me mums smokes to try it choked on the fucker and vowed id never do it again so far so good probably for the best had some lung issues when young

[ChocoLada]

Good myTake, I completely agree, I hate smoking too.

[ColinHarvey]

Smoking is so sexy - Lester Young and James Dean looked hot AF holding a cig.

I just quit smoking last year, but when I see a picture of Billy Holiday with a glass of gin and a cig it makes me want to get back on the horse.

[helithchambers]

The only reason it looks cool is because of the attitude that follows and the signals it sends. "I take risks and therefore live life to it's fullest" - which is silly if you ask me.

Happy to hear you quit. Wishing you the best in all things and thank you for reading it.

[ColinHarvey]

You're right, kinda a badass look. I had to quit because I work in a high stress position, so it was something I found I was a slave to. But if I was in a different part of my life I believe I probably could handle not getting addicted, of course mine was a habitual addiction as I had no withdrawals.

Still, no fun!

[dwright9224]

I just quit about a little less than 2 months ago on 02/15/2016.