The War of Offensiveness

[Anonymous]

"I'm offended by that!"

"These are butt hurt comments!"

"That message is offensive to us!"

"We need to stop being so politically correct!"

"You don't get to decide what's offensive!"

"People are too sensitive!"

These phrases are the rally cries of the ongoing war that has been waged on the battle field of the internet for a few decades now. You have the offending, the offended, and everyone else with their opinion of who's allegedly "righter" or "wronger" than the other. We all but can't help ourselves now when it comes to the topic of what is or isn't offensive these days because rather than two people or a few people being able to deal with a small situation, someone has to post in on social media and get every single human being on planet earth involved often times creating more chaos than was ever necessary, because f--k you, that's why!

So let's talk about it.

So You're Offended...

Eleven years ago Donald Trump referenced grabbing a woman by the (redacted) and various other rapey style comments and since you had to hear this over your morning coffee while braiding little Susie's hair, you are offended and you're pretty sure your super highly intelligent two year old who was of course able to understand what was going on as well, was equally offended what with her tossing her Cheerios about like that! And you should be! The news you watch is generally so wholesome what with all of the first five minutes of coverage being of one minority group shooting at another, or the drunk drivers who smashed into and decapitated the group of school kids, or the Syrian refugees being gassed in their own homes, but never you mind, let's get back to being offended by what really matters in this world; the foul misdeeds of one orange hued Popsicle of a man.

Don't mind my shmarminess. I'm not discrediting your offense. You have the right to be offended like water has a right to be wet. All of this...is offensive to someone somewhere. Let's be real about this for a second. Being offended gets s--t done. You call attention to situations that other people want to skip right over and pretend don't exist. Sexism, racism, homophobia, war, pain, suffering, neglect...Crocs. All of that. You need you to be offended by all of it. You provide some checks and balances to a lot of the apathy we have in the world by people who often fail to see that anything can be offensive or damaging to someone else because it isn't happening to them personally. It's easy for them to say you're butt hurt or being politically correct because to them, they truly believe in the darkened patches where their hearts used to be, that everything is fair game, well you know, up until the moment you involve their mothers. Now...now you're crossing the line. When mom starts crying, it's game over and they realize that maybe there is a limit that exists out there.

Now before you pat a hole into your back for being who you think are the sole champions of what's good and right and holy in the universe, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Just because you are offended by something, doesn't necessarily mean something is actually offensive. Sometimes (a lot of times) you see the bait clickable posts and pictures of someone claiming something is offensive and before you even read or try to understand what's going on, you're crying foul. You, yeah, you...you're messing with the whole entire system of checks and balances by not even being able to see that you need to check your own balance from time to time. You also can't be offended for someone who is not offended by some offending action to you.

Offense is a personal matter. You know when you're triggered and when you're not but it's not a psychic connection, okay. You're not Professor X. All you can do is state your case and hope it sticks. The good news is, some times, you'll be right, and you'll get that group of Cheetoh puff eating laptop basement dwellers to agree with you, no problem, and you'll make America great again, or be stronger together, or whatever slogan from you have no ideawhereyougotisville pops into your head, but if you're offended everyday by everything and you leave no room for reason and logic and FACTS to be a part of your offensive Richter scale, than that's a problem. No offense.

So You're Not offended...

Wait, wait, wait, let me guess. No, I said, let me guuuueeeeessssss! Don't tell me! Oooo, oooo, oooo! It's like right there, right on the tip of my reptilian tongue. You're about to quote something called the...oh, yup, that took two seconds, there it is: "The First Amendment to the United States Constitution prohibits the making of any law respecting an establishment of religion, impeding the free exercise of religion, abridging the freedom of speech, infringing on the freedom of the press, interfering with the right to peaceably assemble, or prohibiting..."

Sorry, I fell asleep there for a moment. By God....and "by God"...you also mean that you have a right to use his, her, it's name in free speech...you are a card carrying member of these here United States of America (or wherever else, I forgot for a moment GaG is global...#differentrulesapply) and in turn, you have a right to say what you God d--m well please! (I'm censoring for my offended folks of course, but you f--king get it).

If you had a quarter for every offensive thing you said and did by someone elses account, you'd be that rich a-hole bank exec from Wells Fargo making your peasant slave employees get enough fake accounts so you could build your fifth home on some island with actual natives! But listen, you're putting your foot down. You refuse to be responsible for how everyone else feels and thinks about what you do and how offensive it allegedly all is. You're human. You're flawed. You say dumb s--t! So what? Your defense will always be...that we all do it. And you're right. Some of us just apparently do it better than others and we don't get caught. The world you want to live in is one where people don't take things so seriously all the time. A world where a person can be forgiven for their actions and not made to suffer for the rest of their lives over a few words. A world where a joke, is just a joke. Can we all just make that world happen you stupid cun...

Woah, woah, woah! Free speech is totally awesome, but free speech has never truly been free. There are consequences for what you say sometimes even if you don't believe there should be. Just try telling your girlfriend she's a fat cow on her birthday or your boyfriend, that your last boyfriend was a better lover...in the middle of having sex with him. How's that working out for you? Free speech, if anything, is a rather complicated ball of tangled Christmas lights. Just like those offendable offendees are offended by seemingly everything in your mind, it doesn't mean they are always wrong.

Sometimes you can't see the offense, phobia, or ism because you can't or don't want to see it. To see it may mean to acknowledge some horrible dark truth about yourself that years of therapy have yet to unearth so it's easier to tell some one, they need to get over it. Like the offendables...not to be confused with the lovable group of aged and once forgotten action celebs of the Expendables, you've got to employ some checks and balances and realize that for every thousand somethings that are supposedly offensive, a few actually are offensive and action does need to be taken against it or that person responsible for it.

[Anonymous]

I am team not offended. The problem with team offended is that they won't allow others to make the mistake of offending someone, and they don't know how to properly address an offense.

They want to tell you what you can and can't say, which only infuriates people and drives them to intentionally offend even more. The offended also like to blow things out of proportion (become triggered), and launch an all out attack on the offender (try to get them fired from their job, or dig up all of their personal information and send a mob after them) all over something that they said. Some of them literally demonize you for merely being associated with "wrong think" groups.

Yes some of us on team not offended do have our flaws, some of us like to push buttons, we like to question the voices of authority, some of us do it because hurting others makes us feel better about ourselves, but that doesn't describe all of us.

Offenders need to be allowed the freedom to offend, and offendeds need to be allowed the freedom to be offended, but we should not engage in a war over how the other doesn't actually have the right to offend or be offended. That is wrong, we all have the right, and it shouldn't turn into battles to suppress the other.

[Library]

I never try to offend people because I don't intend to offend people. It's not nice. I just try to accept all the different types of people there are and accept them as my equals :)

[myTake Owner]

I think in my entire life, I've been in two situations where I've done/said something that other people considered offensive, and called me out on it, and it was like auto correct. I think we teach people to respect other people and if they feel a level of disrespect from you, at least hear them out and if you truly feel that you are not offending them, then you state your case and let it be known. You simply can't expect respect for who it is you are and what you do, etc. if you don't first give it. This is not to say everyone who's ever cried offense is right, because people do get crazy with it from time to time, but I think its fair if both sides open their minds to at least talk about the situation.

[mostwomenshouldstfu]

Communication is a b****. With the amount of rhetoric we're bombarded with nowadays, it's hard to honestly discuss the most controversial topics without triggering someone, they just don't believe you when you say "no offense"<-this qualifier is sometimes abused as a ticket to be as offensive as one wants. Some people are just on tilt all the time, and could set off, unexpectedly. But you can't let fear silence you, that's intimidation. And ultimately, offensive or not, it's the truth we want, in whatever form it comes.

[myTake Owner]

@mostwomenshouldstfu I think the question to ask you, is if you truly believe that, why did you even bother to censor part of what you wrote or your screen name even? If you're into just telling it how it is, why hold back?

I seriously had a conversation with a guy about free speech once who said it would be perfectly fine with him if his wife's male boss called her a b---h repeatedly in a board room meeting in front of all her peers... because you know... free speech. How is that "the truth," just because he felt the need to say it. Offensiveness has it's place, but we can't go too overboard like you've mentioned, with just throwing a blanket in the air and calling anything that falls under it offensive, but there are things that do indeed cross a line and should be called out and stopped immediately.

[mostwomenshouldstfu]

Number of reasons: 1) Intelligent people usually don't swear unless it's necessary to emphasize a point. 2) There might be underage prying eyes 3) You still understood what I meant, and just as easy as typing it out 4) My context is different 5) I'm free to censor as much as my own speech as I please, it has an interesting effect when I do 6) Speech is an evolving language.

As far as the board thing, companies can censor as much speech as they like while you're on the clock under contract. As far as calling a girl a b****, if it's warranted, then it's fine. Those occasions are rare. Usually doesn't help situation though.

[myTake Owner]

@mostwomenshouldstfu just because you don't type out the curse word fully doesn't mean you're in your words, an intelligent person, for the same exact reason you point out... because we do understand exactly what you meant to say, so that's a moot point.

Second, we precisely have those rules in place in an office setting in particular because people do get offended and it has in the past made work places extremely difficult places for certain people or certain groups to work in simply because they were actually in many cases targeted for who they were and things they couldn't change like their race, disability, gender. That doesn't warrant someone being able to make fun of or use derogatory language with them. It's like making fun of a tree... because it's a tree! Add to that again, free speech really isn't all that free because a boss is not going to win the right in a court case to be able to freely call, in this case, his female employees a b---h around the workplace.

[mostwomenshouldstfu]

Never said I was, nor was it intently implied, though it could be assumed so.

That's why I said, workplaces are free to censor as much as they like. Calling people names rarely garners productivity. And I've found those "rare" occurences are in physically demanding jobs, where it's a coping mechanism to deal with the stresses of labor. But they do it face to face, to each other, and it builds camaraderie in a strange way, which is why it's typical you'll only find this in males. Scheming, rallying people against each other, not helpful. Builds mistrust, some are particularily bad with this sometimes. Build your own rumor mill and supervisors have to step in to dismantle it if it gets out of hand. Or turn the mill against itself to destroy it <-usually a bad idea to lower yourself to subordinate level like that though, you want to lead workforce where you want them to go, not out-subordinate them

[pnl86]

cdn.someecards.com/.../...lease-stand-by-6ea8c.png

If you take a "sample" of any cohort in the US, on average, more females than males will "be offended" by what others say.

It's a manipulation tactic. Basically, "I need my opponent to shut the fuck up and stop talking. I need his point to stop getting attention/support/resources/etc. so that the attention/support/resources/etc. can be focused back on me." But, I can't just "demand" for people to stop giving my opponent those social benefits, and I can't simply just ask my opponent to stop. What if... Yes. What if I would openly state to my opponent and to others that what my opponent is saying is "HURTING MY FEELINGS." It's totally subjective, and yes, while it's just as easy for me to grow a backbone and thick skin, it's also just as easy for my opponent to just shut the fuck up.

What a precarious position that puts everyone in. It bestows upon me the "victim status." Everyone else automatically sympathizes with me, and my opponent feels ashamed and guilty. Now, my opponent feels the pressure to shut the fuck up, and everyone else feels the social pressure to become group cohesive in support of me (and against my opponent), as if they're rushing to my aid and support. They feel like "good" people for protecting my and defending me against "HURT FEELINGS," and want to avoid feeling like "bad" people for either not supporting me or supporting my opponent.

I've had grown ass older female lawyers try to pull that on me, to which I state on the record, "There's a waiting area in the hallway for children. Put your adult hat on for a moment, we're not here to pay attention to anyone's feelings, we're here to discuss the facts and the law, that's it. You being offended is not my problem. Grow a backbone. If you need help with that, I know an excellent psychologist I can recommend to you after we're finished over here."

I'm not looking to be "liked" in front of a judge or a rational audience. I'm looking to not have someone's attempts at BS sidetrack the main arguments and issues.

Unfortunately, in "the real world," most audiences can't be dispassionate and rational. They're emotion driven, and that's why this victimization manipulation technique is so effective and popular.

[PrincessofNohr]

The biggest problem with the whole "war" is that no one can accept that there are other people who may not share their own views or ideas, and anyone who doesn't agree 100% with everyone they believe is immediately the enemy and can never be anything different. We immediately go from zero to sixty when faced with an alternative perspective and resort to name calling and screaming to protect our delicate little egos, determined to remain in the right.

If we were all to take a step back and realize that most of this stuff isn't worth getting worked up over, we'd be in a better place. For example, I find that rape and sexual assault jokes make me uncomfortable in general, simply because it's a serious issue and I find making light of it to be in bad taste. However, if someone does make a joke like this, I'll usually just go "meh" and ignore it. There has only been once when I spoke up about it, and it ended with a "sorry" and a different line of conversation. No one's life was changed, no one stopped being friends, we simply moved on. Could we all deal with things so simply, this "war" wouldn't exist in the first place.

On an aside, I've come to the conclusion that there are no "sides" in this conflict. Everyone involved is equally offended. Those who claim not to be are clearly offended by the idea that someone could be offended. Everyone's guilty.

[Anonymous]

I see so many people spending so much time, energy and money on being "politically correct" or countering political correctness nowadays. You know what I do? I go downtown every weekend with a few trash bags, find a homeless person and offer them ten bucks to clean up the block. While working I ask about their story and life. After I'm done I offer to pray (if they accept great, but if they don't no big deal... freedom religion... their choice) and wish them a best of luck for the day. I'm always in a better mood afterwards no matter how my day is going.

I've met white, black, muslim, latino, old, young, atheist, christian, gay, straight people... but after working them for 15 minutes I always see that all blood is RED. I don't "celebrate" their diversity but I don't discriminate against the either.

Point being is people need to get their f***ing priorities straight. If you protest and cry "victim" you will only make things worse instead of better. You will get attention, but you won't get respect. I don't care how many likes you get on facebook or "cool" it is nowadays. If you avoid people of different races, orientations, beliefs, etc bother you... you might miss out on a opportunity to make a very good friend, learn something about them and ultimately yourself.

I reiterate again, Instead of bitching about being "offended"... go out and help someone directly! You will be surprised how much better you feel.

[Brokenheartedx]

I think everyone should lighten the Fk up... if it isn't breastfeeding mums getting offended by someone who found them offensive by breastfeeding publically then it's teenagers being offended by everything and if it isn't them it's Muslims being offended by Halloween costumes and thus the list goes on

Meanwhile I'm like I wish I was young again so I can make dirt pies and climb trees.. but pc gone mad has got offended by that..

no one will ever be happy unless there is something to be offended by...

[Major_Vybz]

Oh dirt pies 😂😂 I remember those..

[Saoirse_Nua]

That was a bit of a blanket bombing but you did get a couple of fair hits in there - I love the internet but I also hate it - Everything becomes an issue and the real stuff gets lost in the white noise but there is a touch of car crash TV about it, I find myself hooked - I love the defences people put forward, in the last 48 hours
Hillary (Lincoln did the same, what?) and Donald surrogates saying what he said is the same as "50 Shades Of Grey" ( So when he wants to jail her, he wants to put her in a sex dungeon for BDSM, ah makes sense now)

[Fathoms77]

If I hear the word "trigger" one more time...

Actually, to me the most illogical, irrational part about this whole war has been the "intent is irrelevant" part. The idea is that if somebody finds something offensive, the offender has no defense; it doesn't matter if that person meant to be offensive or not, because the "victim" is all that matters.

It's the most insanely idiotic rule ever. The intent is the ONLY thing that matters! If someone did not mean to offend someone else, there is no hate or bias; at worst, there is ignorance, but there is not overt dislike of another person or culture or creed because that person didn't mean to hurt anyone else. THAT'S what we should be caring most about.

[youtoo]

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions" ;)

[genuinlysensitive]

So what then the road to Heaven is paved with bad ones?

[mostwomenshouldstfu]

@genuinlysensitive Nobody walks to heaven, you float.

[youtoo]

"Promises and plans must be put into action, or else they are useless"

[Ahersheykiss]

Thanks for the Take! It made me laugh while getting across your Take.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you so much.

[NJ_Casanova]

Way too much to read... but I LOVE the pictures, LOL ;-)

I do think being PC is complete BS... All it really is is special treatment for a group/s.

I do think people should live by the old sayings...
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"

[myTake Owner]

That's kind of a flawed argument, is it not? If everyone was in fact doing unto others, we wouldn't have things like mistreatment by one group of another and vice versa... which tends to lead to offense. I mean if people hadn't been offended throughout history and brought up things like bosses slapping their secretaries on the behinds and calling them sweetcheeks and thinking that was okay... because no one said anything or challenged the systems in place... we wouldn't have policies that protect women in the workplace and men for that matter from harassment. Someone had to point out to the one group, the problem with the other in order for it to get solved.

However... there are far far too many people with too many things that offend them like jokes and such to the point where we are now, that when something does need changing, everyone's so sick of hearing about everything of no consequence that real problems can get lost in the shuffle.

[youtoo]

I get where you're coming from Anon but I think NJ meant that in a more ideal sense... but, as you said, we don't live in an ideal world. "Treat others as you yourself would like to be treated" is the cornerstone of the world's four major religions: Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Christianity, so, again, ideally lol

[NJ_Casanova]

@youtoo The problem is that groups push their beliefs and opinions on others. Just like solicitors in front of a store. The only way to deal with those people are to be rude/nasty.

[youtoo]

I agree, but I also try to remember that not all them are that way. Usually those types are peddlers trying to make a living while using religion as a front and earning brownie points with the powers that be..

[mostwomenshouldstfu]

Legally, ANYTHING can be said in open dialogue, as long as no harmful intent/call to action is perceived to exist. But be civil, there's a constructive way and a destructive way of doing it.

[Anonymous]

Im offended by stupidity and the fact that there are a lot of "butt hurt" people in the world. So stop offending me 😆 TBH everyone needs to lighten up, grow up, put on those big boy or big girl pants and move on. Its life dont sweat every detail and thought.

[Anonymous]

I don't ever get offended but if there's one thing that offends me is when see someone use the word retarded towards me on the in the internet but if I were to ask people a question on gag on what there opinion is on gay marriage people seem to get offended or angry when I ask that question but when I see other people ask this question other people don't seem to get offended by others when they ask this question and that's what I don't understand

[myTake Owner]

You've literally just contradicted yourself in your first sentence there: "I don't ever get offended but if there's one thing that offends me is..."

Everyone gets offended. Some far less than others for sure, but it's like when people say, I'm not a liar.. but that is in fact a lie... it's like that when people say, they never get offended. Some things are offensive, and it's okay to admit that. Whether you want to challenge it or them is a different matter.

[Opinion Owner]

oh I see

[myTake Owner]

case in point, I gather, the other comment was removed...

It happens.

[Opinion Owner]

that's ok

[VictoriousSausage]

Really awesome Take, nice job

[myTake Owner]

thank you

[COCOCHANEL]

hold on i need a few minutes to get properly offended

[Kiran04]

It's not that I don't want to see the offense, I just don't give a shit. If people are offended about what I do or say, that's their personal problem. I am not obligated to give a damn about it.

[JustWorthlessMe]

I've learned that it's always the ones who broadcast how PC the world is and how they're all crybabies who cry the LOUDEST when something goes against them.

[sedrftvgyhujik]

Im offended that you'd have a go at me for being offended.
honestly can't we be offended in peace!

[AlwaysBelieving]

Sounds like those people just need to remove the stick.

[jacquesvol]

Some think that insulting is a basic civil right.

[Jager66]

It absolutely is.
Offensive speech is the most important speech, with out it we would lose vast amounts art, culture, science, comedy, music, and human rights. But, just become someone is insulting does not mean they are right, often they are just an asshole, part of living in a world with the previously mentioned things is learning how to cope with being insulted.

[myTake Owner]

@Jager66 Although I agree with you, it should not just be... everyone else needs to deal with that a-hole who thinks he or she can say what they want because that too has real world consequences... lack of relationships, friendships, losing jobs, etc. if they are the type that feels it's okay to say whatever whenever to whomever. Half those who are like that on GaG are busy asking questions, like why am I forever alone or why don't girls or guys like me...

[Jager66]

Yeah I agree with that, everything has consequences and if you're an asshole you should suffer those social consequences. But if someone wants to be an asshole they should be allowed to be, just like the other person should be allowed to tell them to fuck off or ask to leave etc..

[jacquesvol]

@Jager66 Did you ever read ME insulting someone? Even after I'm insulted I do not fight in the gutter.

[Jager66]

By my standards No, which I think reflects well you, others might think it reflects poorly on you. My standards for what's offensive are probably a fair bit different than yours are I'd wager.

Who is to be the arbiter of what's gutter talk? I'm betting it wouldn't be hard to find someone who thinks "Pro Choice" is a highly offensive gutter talk euphemism for murder. Or saying: Muhammad was a pedophile, Gays have to be killed, Black Lives Matter, Men's rights are Human Right's, Women's Rights are Human Right's, Plenty of people use the "N" word as part of normal speech and we havn;t even touched on poor grammar or pronunciation, and on and on and on... There is probably an infinite amount of examples that could be given for every word and every belief.

Restricting insulting speech is the creation of thought crime. Rights to free speech end at harassment, slander, calling to violence and fraud, there are probably other ethical boundaries as well like between a counselor and client.

[jacquesvol]

@Jager66 That's why humans created euphemisms.

[Jager66]

Yup, but not everyone is going to see it that way. Some people will find euphemisms insulting. So should we make euphemisms illegal or should people learn how to cope with other peoples offensive opinions?

[Djaaaaaay]

Being offended is a choice... to be or not to be.

[simxc]

No one has the right to not be offended.