Guy Culture in a Nutshell and Why It's Awesome

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Guy Culture in a Nutshell and Why It's Awesome

(Insert dick joke here)

Being a guy doesn't just mean having a penis and using your penis (although that's a big part of it), being a guy means being awesome. Living life. Taking risks and chances. Fucking with and fucking girls.

Overall, I like being a guy. In a lot of ways I'm not your stereotypical "guy." But in other ways, I am. For instance, I hate football. I'm tall but skinny and I hate all the pausing and resuming. On the other hand, I like video games. And girls. And technology. And creating.

So without further ado, here's what it means to be a guy.

Guy Culture in a Nutshell and Why It's Awesome

Video Games

Yes, I'm well aware women play video games too. Most women treat it as a hobby though. For guys, it's a way of life.

Video games are, in some sense, a rite of passage. I remember for my fifth birthday I got three video game consoles that didn't work before I stumbled upon the Nintendo plug and play console. I fucking loved that thing. PaperBoy, Ice Climbers, Kung Fu, and Bomberman- amazing. I don't remember what my first E10+ game was, but I'm pretty sure my first T game was Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess (I know, it doesn't sound very masculine.) My first M game was Bioshock (my favorite game to this day).

I even remember how I stumbled across it. Years before my dad was talking about a game he read about where you're trying to survive after a plane crash. Years later, on a whim, I decided to look that game up and see what had become of it. And I'm glad I did.

Guy Culture in a Nutshell and Why It's Awesome

(Would you like some painkillers before your operation?)

I'm a huge fan of dystopian literature, probably thanks to this game. I don't even have the words to describe this game. It's fucking amazing. Play it if you haven't.

Looking back on it, I probably only did karate because of Kung-Fu the game. Crazy women didn't throw bees at me, but I had some weird encounters.

Dick Jokes/Talk/Having a dick

(Mentally Insert image here)

Penises are amazing. Usually. There are exceptions. Laying down in the floor in tight sweatpants doing yoga... ouch. Ball pain from running... ouch. But for the most part, having a penis is awesome. And they make for good topics of conversation.

I was watching a podcast recently and this really well known, respected, super intelligent Youtuber was talking about... whether you could judge the size of a guy's junk by how it sounds when he's peeing.

A woman could spend two hours stimulating herself and absolutely nothing happens. If a guy wants to, he could probably get off in five minutes. Believe me, I've masturbated at three in the morning while I felt like crap and I was still able to orgasm. No batteries required.

And the dick jokes... the fucking dick jokes.


Trust me on this- having a dick is awesome.

You don't need to shave

Granted, some guys should shave. I have a very young looking face (that's not me bragging by the way, I look like I'm about 14-15) and I have a mustache. It looks really fucking weird. And terrible. At some point I'll get around to shaving it.

Some women spend hours shaving and even waxing. I've ripped off a super sticky bandaid before and it hurt like hell. I've never attempted to rip the hairs out of my own legs, but I'd imagine it would hurt.

Guy Culture in a Nutshell and Why It's Awesome

And yes, technically women don't need to shave either. In fact, while I'm on the subject of shaving I don't understand how anybody- man or woman- puts a razor anywhere near their genitals. Trimming is one thing, but shaving just seems unnecessary. And even though most guys don't mind, many women do shave their genitals.

Little off topic rant there. Anyways, I'm glad I don't need to shave.

Humor

As a guy it's important to have a cultivated well rounded sense of humor. For dating and for bonding in general.

Guy Culture in a Nutshell and Why It's Awesome

Typically guys develop their brand of humor from a young age, when seeing somebody fall down is amusing. From there, the humor develops into something everybody can appreciate. Or, it doesn't, and the guy becomes a full fledged Sociopath.

Dumb joke, but you get the idea. Humor is a cornerstone of guy culture. If you're in the mood for a laugh, here's a pretty funny stand up routine I saw by Donald Glover, creator of Atlanta. (funny show- check it out if you haven't yet).

It's the perfect blend of toilet humor and more evolved comedy. Check it out.

To be continued?

Is there more to being a guy. Definitely. But guys get bored fairly easily, so I'll leave it at that. Thanks for reading, hopefully you enjoyed. If you did, click that like button and I'll make a part two.

Guy Culture in a Nutshell and Why It's Awesome
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Most Helpful Guy

  • "Fucking with and fucking girls."

    That's where we are at disadvantage unless we look good or are filthy rich.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Adigelunar
    Good post.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

12
  • Jazzigirl
    Hey, not only guys can orgasm in five minutes, girls can in less than five too including me. A having a pussy kinda sucks though.
  • TheInvisibleMan
    Video games are for kids actually. Im not talking shit about those who play them nor am I saying you shouldn't play, I just thinks it doesn't belong on the list, its not a manly thing at all, its a childish thing, but thats ok.
    • I'm not a mature person, so I couldn't care less whether something I do is for kids. On the other hand, if you say something that's proven wrong by just about every piece of data and statistics, I'm going to try to correct you.

      But let me first say this: what about fantasy football? Is that any more mature then video games?

      Anyways, I'm going to give a few reasons why video games are not for kids

      1) It is illegal to buy games rated M and AO if you are underage. And in order to purchase an AO game you must be 18 years old. You must be an adult. Yes, AO games are a niche market but they wouldn't exist if adults didn't play video games. And M games are very common.

      2) Demographics from the three major console manufacturers all show the same thing- most gamers are adults. And even just look at the audience at an E3 event. Mostly adults.

      3) How do you measure whether something is or is not "for kids?"

    • @theinvisibleman my last, and final point. Is controlling a character in a story any more immature then watching a character in a movie? Why is watching a fake storyline unfold any more mature then controlling a character through a video game. And there are video games that deal with some very mature themes like Bioshock.

      Just something to think about, but nevertheless, thanks for your response.

    • Butthurt much? I had no bad intention. Anyway, not to go deeper in the topic of who is the target group for video games, my point was that its not a manly thing at all, and that I don't think it belongs on the list.

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  • Harpesian
    Whaaat. This is the fourth time I've come to the conclusion that I must not be a guy or something from reading a myTake on here lol.

    ... Yes, I'm counting.
    • @Harpesian

      You have a dick
      I assume you have a sense of humor
      As a guy, society does not pressure you to shave. You don't "need" to.

      Do you not play video games? That's fine. obviously you're still a guy if you don't play video games. I should have specified that, but that's fairly obvious.

      Still, 3/4 match unless I'm missing something here.

    • Harpesian

      I was thinking of it in a different way.

      Yes, of course I have one but I never MENTION it. Bleugh. >.<
      The humour thing; not exactly what I was thinking of.
      I see where you're coming from on the shaving thing now.

      Now I like video games, but I don't think of them as like a "way of life" or whatever. They're on no different level than watching movies and reading books in the sense that they're just passtimes.

      So it wasn't so much what I do so much as the mentality; how I think of it.

    • Harpesian

      Those are the segments of the myTake as a whole but there were certain small comments here and there as well, like "Taking risks and chances. Fucking with and fucking girls." – that's completely alien to me.

    • Show All
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