Guy Culture in a Nutshell and Why It's Awesome

[WhateversCheapest]

(Insert dick joke here)

Being a guy doesn't just mean having a penis and using your penis (although that's a big part of it), being a guy means being awesome. Living life. Taking risks and chances. Fucking with and fucking girls.

Overall, I like being a guy. In a lot of ways I'm not your stereotypical "guy." But in other ways, I am. For instance, I hate football. I'm tall but skinny and I hate all the pausing and resuming. On the other hand, I like video games. And girls. And technology. And creating.

So without further ado, here's what it means to be a guy.

Video Games

Yes, I'm well aware women play video games too. Most women treat it as a hobby though. For guys, it's a way of life.

Video games are, in some sense, a rite of passage. I remember for my fifth birthday I got three video game consoles that didn't work before I stumbled upon the Nintendo plug and play console. I fucking loved that thing. PaperBoy, Ice Climbers, Kung Fu, and Bomberman- amazing. I don't remember what my first E10+ game was, but I'm pretty sure my first T game was Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess (I know, it doesn't sound very masculine.) My first M game was Bioshock (my favorite game to this day).

I even remember how I stumbled across it. Years before my dad was talking about a game he read about where you're trying to survive after a plane crash. Years later, on a whim, I decided to look that game up and see what had become of it. And I'm glad I did.

(Would you like some painkillers before your operation?)

I'm a huge fan of dystopian literature, probably thanks to this game. I don't even have the words to describe this game. It's fucking amazing. Play it if you haven't.

Looking back on it, I probably only did karate because of Kung-Fu the game. Crazy women didn't throw bees at me, but I had some weird encounters.

Dick Jokes/Talk/Having a dick

(Mentally Insert image here)

Penises are amazing. Usually. There are exceptions. Laying down in the floor in tight sweatpants doing yoga... ouch. Ball pain from running... ouch. But for the most part, having a penis is awesome. And they make for good topics of conversation.

I was watching a podcast recently and this really well known, respected, super intelligent Youtuber was talking about... whether you could judge the size of a guy's junk by how it sounds when he's peeing.

A woman could spend two hours stimulating herself and absolutely nothing happens. If a guy wants to, he could probably get off in five minutes. Believe me, I've masturbated at three in the morning while I felt like crap and I was still able to orgasm. No batteries required.

And the dick jokes... the fucking dick jokes.

Trust me on this- having a dick is awesome.

You don't need to shave

Granted, some guys should shave. I have a very young looking face (that's not me bragging by the way, I look like I'm about 14-15) and I have a mustache. It looks really fucking weird. And terrible. At some point I'll get around to shaving it.

Some women spend hours shaving and even waxing. I've ripped off a super sticky bandaid before and it hurt like hell. I've never attempted to rip the hairs out of my own legs, but I'd imagine it would hurt.

And yes, technically women don't need to shave either. In fact, while I'm on the subject of shaving I don't understand how anybody- man or woman- puts a razor anywhere near their genitals. Trimming is one thing, but shaving just seems unnecessary. And even though most guys don't mind, many women do shave their genitals.

Little off topic rant there. Anyways, I'm glad I don't need to shave.

Humor

As a guy it's important to have a cultivated well rounded sense of humor. For dating and for bonding in general.

Typically guys develop their brand of humor from a young age, when seeing somebody fall down is amusing. From there, the humor develops into something everybody can appreciate. Or, it doesn't, and the guy becomes a full fledged Sociopath.

Dumb joke, but you get the idea. Humor is a cornerstone of guy culture. If you're in the mood for a laugh, here's a pretty funny stand up routine I saw by Donald Glover, creator of Atlanta. (funny show- check it out if you haven't yet).

It's the perfect blend of toilet humor and more evolved comedy. Check it out.

To be continued?

Is there more to being a guy. Definitely. But guys get bored fairly easily, so I'll leave it at that. Thanks for reading, hopefully you enjoyed. If you did, click that like button and I'll make a part two.

[Unit1]

"Fucking with and fucking girls."

That's where we are at disadvantage unless we look good or are filthy rich.

[Adigelunar]

Good post.

[TheInvisibleMan]

Video games are for kids actually. Im not talking shit about those who play them nor am I saying you shouldn't play, I just thinks it doesn't belong on the list, its not a manly thing at all, its a childish thing, but thats ok.

[WhateversCheapest]

I'm not a mature person, so I couldn't care less whether something I do is for kids. On the other hand, if you say something that's proven wrong by just about every piece of data and statistics, I'm going to try to correct you.

But let me first say this: what about fantasy football? Is that any more mature then video games?

Anyways, I'm going to give a few reasons why video games are not for kids

1) It is illegal to buy games rated M and AO if you are underage. And in order to purchase an AO game you must be 18 years old. You must be an adult. Yes, AO games are a niche market but they wouldn't exist if adults didn't play video games. And M games are very common.

2) Demographics from the three major console manufacturers all show the same thing- most gamers are adults. And even just look at the audience at an E3 event. Mostly adults.

3) How do you measure whether something is or is not "for kids?"

[WhateversCheapest]

@theinvisibleman my last, and final point. Is controlling a character in a story any more immature then watching a character in a movie? Why is watching a fake storyline unfold any more mature then controlling a character through a video game. And there are video games that deal with some very mature themes like Bioshock.

Just something to think about, but nevertheless, thanks for your response.

[TheInvisibleMan]

Butthurt much? I had no bad intention. Anyway, not to go deeper in the topic of who is the target group for video games, my point was that its not a manly thing at all, and that I don't think it belongs on the list.

[WhateversCheapest]

@theinvisibleMan you can't criticize something as immature and use the term "butthurt much" when somebody responds. I was just trying to have a conversation and respond to you.

You're basically conceding defeat with this comment.

[TheInvisibleMan]

"Defeat"? This is not any kind of a duel. You keep missing my point and barking at me for something I wrote on the side and something thats a very long and deep discussion, and I don't plan on having it with you here.

[WhateversCheapest]

@theinvisibleman Ok, fair enough bad choice of words. Can't go back and edit unfortunately.

You made your point, I countered your point. I understand why you think that, and I'm explaining why it is wrong. I wouldn't say that's "barking."

Long and deep discussion... er... no

[TheInvisibleMan]

No, you are still missing my point. Focus. The Point: Video games are not a manly thing, and they don't belong on your list. Thats it. I just wrote they were mostly for children, that is my attitude about it. Your opinion is different and thats your thing. I see no need to discuss that since it wasn't the point. Get it now?

[WhateversCheapest]

@theinvisibleman I have a question. Do you think your opinion is fact or an opinion? Do you think because you feel a certain way about something that's just how it is?

Kind of ironic you're talking about maturity.

[TheInvisibleMan]

Well about manliness - it's a fact.
About games being for children - thats an opinion.

[WhateversCheapest]

@TheInvisibleMan if most video games are played by men how is it a "fact" that they aren't manly.

Seems that you don't like to have your opinion criticized.

[TheInvisibleMan]

They are played by guys, not men. Just because you are male doesn't mean you are a man. And its not manly because its a useless, childish waste of time, and every real man lives in the real world and has real life activities, has real experiences.

[WhateversCheapest]

@theinvisibleMan you really hate video games huh?

No offense, but you don't seem like a "real man" to me.

[TheInvisibleMan]

I never said I was. I am working on myself and I hope I will be one when Im older. But first, nobody my age is a real man, no matter how he behaves. And I don't hate video games, I used to play them when I was younger, I hate the degenerate losers that are called men nowadays (im not talking about you, i dont know you). you have motherfuckers who are in their 40s and playing video games

[WhateversCheapest]

@TheInvisibleMan I agree with most of what you said. but, regarding the "degenerate losers." These guys work hard all day and want to come home and relax and you're about to tell them what is and isn't appropriate to do in their spare time.

You're entitled to your own opinion though. Agree to disagree I guess.

[TheInvisibleMan]

There are other methods of relaxing far better and far more normal for that age. But you are right, best thing to do is agree to disagree. We obviously see certain things different ways.

[DizzyAster]

What?
Have you played games like papers please, where you have to decide who to let and who not to let into a paranoid country so you can feed your family?
Have you played Darkest Dungeon, a look into psychology, human resource management, and loot bad guys while ignoring the mental health of your team?

While there are many childish games, they are not made by childish people. Some are as deep as a good movie or book, but in their own way.

If you disagree, then stop watching media because it's all the same.

[TheInvisibleMan]

@DizzyAster They only seem deep to people with lower levels of intelligence and I can see you are one of them based on the shit you wrote on that other question. And its not same in any way. Video games are not a hobby or even an actual activity. And only losers can choose virtual bullshit over real life experiences.

[WhateversCheapest]

@TheInvisibleMan what the actual fuck is your problem? There are two possibilities here. Either

A) You troll people and piss them off because your life fucking sucks
or
B) Your life fucking sucks so you spend it trying to piss people off

Maybe if you weren't so hostile, immature, and didn't throw hissy fits you'd actually have friends.
or
Maybe you'd have friends if you didn't waste your life trolling people.

[WhateversCheapest]

@TheInvisibleMan either way, your life fucking sucks. You're like those hacking collective on the internet. Acting tough and badass behind a keyboard. Yet in real life, they're disgusting, repulsive, and grotesque.

I feel bad for anybody who is forced to deal with you. I've only dealt with your BS for five minutes and already you piss me off.

[TheInvisibleMan]

I actually have friends and Im writing the truth. The fact your IQ is lower than your shoe size and your stances and opinions are formed by the bullshit you see on TV is your own problem. And you are calling me immature while you just wrote two messages attempting to insult me? Very mature. Just fuck off and stop embarassing yourself, you look fucking pathetic

[DizzyAster]

Bottom line is that all ages of people play from young to old.
To say it's childish is ignorant.
And I have no time for ignorance.
Good bye.

[WhateversCheapest]

@theinvisibleman I'm not going to respond to most of that, because most of it is incoherent nonsense and dribble.

You're one of these reverse sheep I run into sometimes on the internet. You think you're some sort of genius because you have an opinion very few share. You only have this stance because other people don't. If a bunch of people go one way, you go the other because fuck people they aren't as great as you are.

You're basically a contrarian fuckwit. And I never said I was mature. I just said you were immature, which you are.

One more thing: In order for me take people at their word, I have to respect them. I have no respect for you and I don't believe anything you say as a result. So don't bother telling me you have friends.

[WhateversCheapest]

@TheInvisibleMan One more dumb response on either question and I'm blocking you. Because I can't stand you. There's no point trying to argue with you. You're very annoying and a total narcissist.

[TheInvisibleMan]

I don't give a flying fuck whether you believe me or not. You already showed me you are retarded, so it doesn't even matter. And you are calling me immature while you wrote two messages of insults without a point? Great job, fucktard. Do us all a favor and go kill yourself. Also many people share my opinion, just most people like me don't spend a lot of time discussing topics with idiots (like I'm doing here). And on the internet, there are many childish brainwashed idiots like you.

[Jazzigirl]

Hey, not only guys can orgasm in five minutes, girls can in less than five too including me. A having a pussy kinda sucks though.

[Harpesian]

Whaaat. This is the fourth time I've come to the conclusion that I must not be a guy or something from reading a myTake on here lol.

... Yes, I'm counting.

[WhateversCheapest]

@Harpesian

You have a dick
I assume you have a sense of humor
As a guy, society does not pressure you to shave. You don't "need" to.

Do you not play video games? That's fine. obviously you're still a guy if you don't play video games. I should have specified that, but that's fairly obvious.

Still, 3/4 match unless I'm missing something here.

[Harpesian]

I was thinking of it in a different way.

Yes, of course I have one but I never MENTION it. Bleugh. >.<
The humour thing; not exactly what I was thinking of.
I see where you're coming from on the shaving thing now.

Now I like video games, but I don't think of them as like a "way of life" or whatever. They're on no different level than watching movies and reading books in the sense that they're just passtimes.

So it wasn't so much what I do so much as the mentality; how I think of it.

[Harpesian]

Those are the segments of the myTake as a whole but there were certain small comments here and there as well, like "Taking risks and chances. Fucking with and fucking girls." – that's completely alien to me.

[WhateversCheapest]

@Harpesian some of it was just humor. I used strong vulgar language in some parts on purpose. That's not actually how I see the world. I'm not the player type. I just thought that was effective phrasing. "Fucking with" teasing and "Fucking" sex obviously, just a more forceful way of saying each.

Every guy is different. Perhaps I'll point that out in my next one. This was from my perspective and it's biased as a result.

When I say taking risks and chances I don't mean doing stupid shit I mean dating and being a bit of a daredevil. I don't mean doing insane things that will likely end in death. I take less risks and chances then a lot of people. Again, just the way I chose to phrase it. That sounded badass and the fucking with and fucking girls sounded badass so I chose that. Also, I wanted to make it abundantly clear that guys were the target audience for a lot of this since I knew women would get annoyed that I acted like video games were a guy thing.

[WhateversCheapest]

@Harpesian but I understand, this MyTake definitely has shortcomings. I would have specified more (I. e. not all women, not all men, some women) but I've done that in the past and I've just found it tedious. So aside from the video games point where I pointed out that women play video games too and "most" women don't treat it as a lifestyle or center their lives around it (referring to professional female gamers) I didn't specify in that way.

But yeah, being a guy means a wide variety of things. I'll add that to my next post.

[Harpesian]

Okay, cool.