Three Things About Bullying I Have Found to be True

Three things about bullying I have found to be true

1. "Bullying will NOT be tolerated" is the biggest bullshit lie the schools have EVER come up with

This is the truth. All schools will tell you this. Sadly, it is in EVERY school.Students are shoved into lockers, gossiped about, intimidated, threatened etc... several times a day sometimes. Concerned parents have gone to the principal and administation time after time to have something done and 99 times out of 100 nothing ever is. Do you really think bullying is their big concern? No, most of the time its winning the sports conference championship or how they did in standardized testing.They also try to hide the fact it happens constantly. In my opinion schools should worry more about stopping bullying, not the football season.

2. The most popular students are the biggest bullies instead of what is usually portrayed by the media.

When I was growing up the strereotypical school bully always reminded me of Roger Klotz from Doug or Helga Pataki from Hey Arnold. But, even though they had bullying tendencies they really were not the worst bullies as most of their problems were anger due to the fact that their parents were not always there or caring about their stuations. To me the biggest bullies were the "popular kids".Think about it this way:Why do you think most popular kids who seem to win all popularity conests and seem to get everything always do? Because the popular ones like that are usually backstabbing and vindictive especially with gossip.Gossip is to me the worst kind of bullying because instead of being in their face and open you are sneaking around behind the other parties back spreading lies and secrets. That is how a lot of the popular kids are bigger bullies than your Helga Pataki or Roger Klotz types.

3. Bullying at Religious events like Youth Group, Summer retreats etc.. is worse than school.

At school you kind of expect it more.But honestly I found religious youth activities to harbor just as much if not more bullying than schools do. But what makes it so bad is you would think they would be very strict and safe. Yeah right,most religous activities are way less supervised and regulated than school activities. This was way true fo me as I felt like when it came to religious youth activites I felt like the bullying and intimidation was worse because its supposed to be a time when we were supposed to feel safe and together, but most of the time was not so as the majority of the kids in youth group were jocks and I was not so really I felt out of place.

This is what I have experienced from facts. Im not sharing any detailed experiences due to the fact I really don't want to write a whole lot out, but feel free to ask me about what I experienced and I will talk about it.

#StopBullying

#Schoolpolicyisntworthadamn


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's an amazing MyTake my friend, i got a little hurt reading the part about the popular kids, WHATEVER popular means in somebodies eyes, I was considered a popular Kid in school , and honestly, I was the popular good girl who fought against the popular bullies.

    Because there are two types of popular folks, the ones that protect and the ones that bully for various reasons including the ones you mentioned.

    It is not easy to deal with bullies, i faced them right handed, and It is not easy to change their mind, it's the way they where born and raised, well now i am 28 years old, and all my popular "friends" are not so popular anymore, some ended up in the streets, some ended in jails, HELL i even saw one of the most popular guys working in a hotel washing dishes...

    Fact is, Karma is a B***, and they will get what they deserve.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It is so stupid the victim gets suspended as well when they get in a fight, makes no sense to me. I've been in situations where one of the bullies friends are nice to you (when you're by yourselves, and they seem like a friend even) but with the group they'll turn on you. Or who can forget when teachers join in on it too, knowing you won't say anything back, and if you do they portray themselves as good and make it look like you're making it up, then you get the punishment for the accusation. As in the case with the restaurant manager, I believe there were some romantic vibes going on there... usually women don't bully guys or be mean to them unless they like them in my opinion

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    • I remember a time in elementary school where these same guys would pick on this shy kid that never talked. The teacher would even make jabs about it, I guess in attempt to get him to talk. Usually resulting in him getting so mad a frustrated he would start crying, then they even lay into him about that then eventually leave him alone for the day at least... other times even with the teacher nearby we would all be walking down the hall in a group from lunch and he'd be walking along and these guys would run up beside him and trip knocking him into the wall. All teacher would say is stop playing it isn't pinball. What people don't realize that you shouldn't try to force things, it never ends well. Look at the news. People never learn. Just get by with your day without bothering anybody, how hard is that?

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What Girls Said 25

  • It's a very complex problem, and one that hits home for so many people. I think some of it is a mirror for what's going on in the larger world, which has become so divisive, angry, and judgmental. Why would our children reflect what we do as adults?

    I agree that schools do not seem to be able to address it sufficiently, and again though, these adults are no different from society as a whole. Why should teachers be the saints of the world when they bully each other in the teachers lounge at lunch too? I think it's a bigger problem.

    Yes, we need to protect our kids from it. Nobody should be harmed by someone. We also need to teach them that competition will be a part of life from here on out. How do we change it to where they can manage competition productively? I personally have had a 9 year old girl close to me who was threatened by a boy in her class with a stick around her throat. She punched him in the face, was suspended. I took her to the zoo for the day, we talked about when it's okay to fight back. And about how people won't always do what they should. Personal boundaries, and how to hold them. When it needs to go to a different level of follow through, because as an adult, what happened to her would be assault charges. I also refused to keep her out of school the next day, because while I thought the time to let her calm down and understand was great, I also tend to have a volcanic fury for injustice and double standards.

    What's the answer? I think it mirrors what needs to happen in all of society as a whole. Often times, we see religious doctrines as a smokescreen for brutal judgment, and then add fear in the mix. That's such a perversion of what it is supposed to be.

    I also have worked with local law enforcement, juvenile justice, and schools to make kids who are on probation do their community service helping younger kids (if it was for drugs, alcohol, public nuisance stuff. Not dangerous). Kids need prevention. They sometimes need a swift kick in the ass reminder that their little sibling is being hurt by someone just like them too. Sometimes they do it because it happened to them too. Sometimes there is no easy answer, and we won't be able to stop it all. But I have no intention of sweeping it under the rug. Problems don't go away. I'd rather try 50 different things, if necessary, to find a solution than keep sticking our heads in the sand.

    Nicely written, and thank you for keeping it known, keeping it in everyone's attention.

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  • i agree with this, esp. #3; i went to a religious school, and the bullying there was worse than any other place i've been. it took someone threatening to kill me before any of it was taken seriously.

    hopefully this will change in future, though i don't see it happening because people suck and always will.

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    • As a Christian I have to say religion is more of a problem than a solution to many things.

    • Religion should only ever be used to govern yourself, your own standards for yourself. Never as a ruler with which to beat other people who don't measure up to an arbitrary & shifting interpretation of judgment. It was meant to be used to control yourself only. Not to criticize others.

      Unfortunately, when you add in the element of fear, people fearing for their salvation, it tends to become horribly judgmental. Fear becomes anger, anger becomes hate, and hate lashes out. Religion can become the very thing it supposedly opposes.

  • I agree with everything you said.

    At school I was bullied but not by the most popular kids. I was actually friends with them and many people older than me. When they saw me being bullied (like held by my throats against the wall, being verbally abused and chased) at one time or another they all stepped forward for me. I found it humbling. It was sad because teachers used to walk past when it was happening. Sadly though the amount of rules around teachers means they can't step in to an active situation.

    Schools (and society) need to grow up to "solve" bullying.

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    • I was one of those kids who wasn't popular but I was respected by the popular kids. They would talk happily with me and I would help them if they asked so it was mutual. If I hung out with them they accepted me but it was a bit awkward. There were times that I would awkwardly spend time with them and they would ask what was wrong. I would say and they would either accept me for the day/week or confront the situation for me.

      I know I was lucky in that respect and teachers were quite understanding (I spent a lot of time with the counsellor) but I always felt like the kid with so many problems.

  • It's funny because bullies get their panties in a knot when they can't hurt your feelings, many people in high school attempted to make fun of me and hurt me, but I showed no reaction to them or payed them any attention. Eventually they just gave up. Bullies crave on attention, sap them of the attention they crave and they can't hurt you. :)

    I always 'kill them with kindness' works 90% of the time.
    Nice myTake! :)

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  • I wonder if it's just the schools I went to, but bullying wasn't really all that present in my experience. Sure, some people teased some people, but that's all it ever came to.

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  • My Elementary school was the worst with bullying it was the more popular kids though not all the time. Bullying was more along the lines of subtle insults and ostracization. Weird was a common insult. I had not consciously acknowledged it I would try to convince myself it wasn't a bad thing but I always knew that they were not using it in a positive way.

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  • Agree with everything you say.
    The teachers won't do a thing to help till it put's the school's reputation at risk.
    They say not to take anything into your hands but from experience, you're better off taking care of yourself.
    I remember in 2nd grade that my sister's friends kept messing with me and got to a point that I was so annoyed that I choked out one of the girls with my scarf till she cried and another girl I slammed her fingers hard in the metal door.
    They stopped and I earned my nickname of "Evil Twin" . I got away with it too because when I was reported, none of the teachers believed it because I was a good student.

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  • I was a non popular bully to 2 people which i wholeheartedly regret. One was a guy I liked and the other was a friend who I thought was annoying. We ended up being friends again.
    I was bullied and spit on by a popular guy whom I stood up to his foulplay during gym time.
    I only had the guts to tell a popular bully to stop bullying a girl at the very end of her rant.
    Teachers can't keep track of all of these events. I think its more up to the parents to teach their kids and love them. I believe homeschooling is much better because adults can keep their children in check. Children running wild amongst other children is bound to create cruelty. Some European grade schools are better as they devote more of their money and importance to education and teachers.

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  • Yup, it all sucks, people are shit. Nice take though.

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  • I've dealt with way more bullies online, generally from trolls and random edge lords who would say terrible racist and sexist shit to me. These guys certainly were not the "popular" kids you see at school. Many of them were nerdy losers who are now lashing out online. Some are just normal people who get a thrill from saying mean things to another person online.

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  • My school's bullies were the poor kids with crappy home lives. I agree tho about schools not caring. I told them I was being bullied by my stepmother who worked at the school and they did nothing. She was abusive and I had no where to turn and they didn't carw

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  • Number 1 is SO true.

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  • #1 rings true for me. It's not just limited to schools either. Even adult bullies outside of school are more and more tolerated.

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  • 100% agree with all of these. It's true. Kids and teenagers truly are the most heartless bastards...

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  • These are all true. Bullying is the worst.

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  • People have tried to bully me... Doesn't really bother me. I've never been beatup or shoved into a locker, but I don't think most kids could do that if they tried.

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  • This is a good take. #1 is true cause I see boards like "Bullying will be punished" but in reality, it's almost always ignored. In some cases even the victim is blamed and told to be a little less "emotional".

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  • The things I learn about bullying through the years is that it ll never stop. People should stop complaining and just taught the bullied person to not care about the bullying anymore.
    I was bullied in middle school and if I was just like crying and wanting it to stop. i would never go far in life. Bullied people should only stop caring about it or stand up for themselves.
    Bully aren't adult, they're immature and insecure child and you can't make them heard reasons or being mature in one night. You can only teach bullied kids to be stronger.

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  • Shouldn't you be worrying about Trump instead of bullies and all this shit

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  • All of that is true. Having been bullied.
    The worst is religious

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What Guys Said 37

  • I wasn't really ever a part of the popular kids in school but thankfully I wasn't bullied much either.

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  • And the worst part is the girl in the first picture... the people that stand around and watch/let it happen. I'd love to see a video of them video taping a fight with their phones and then getting sucker punched.. they deserve it.

    Anyone that watches and does nothing is just as bad/worse than the bullies. They are the reason for all the bad things in the world.

    The said thing is society really doesn't look down at bulling. Like you said bullies are usually popular.

    In the perfect world the "GOOD/NICE" people would stand up for each other and the bullies would be out numbered... and stop or get their asses kicked.

    I blame the parents for doing a bad job... because if anybody in my family acted like that you'd get your ass beat and wouldn't do it again. If the kid is an asshole it's because the parents are.

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    • Parents blame the schools, schools blame the parents... finger point, finger point, point, point point, point... and when everyone gets tired of circular blaming, nothing has changed.

    • Show All
    • @brain5000 First and foremost it's the Teachers responsibility as they are the person that is in-charge of the kids when in their class. If a teacher says, "it's not my job"... then they need to find a new one/different profession.

      If it's in the hallway, it's the teacher who is closest and they need to bring it to the principals attention. It's the principals job to get law enforcement involved/suspend/expel kids.

      If nothing gets done... it is possible for anyone involved to get suspended or fired. If I had a kid and was getting bullied, and the school didn't stop it immediately I would kick the shit out of the kid AND his parents.

    • Not sure, but when people hire teachers, they don't generally ask for law enforcement, legal or military background. Not to be snarky but I just don't think teachers are equipped to do that. Perhaps they should be, or someone should be, but is anyone thinking about it?

  • 1. True. In almost every school, bullying does occur. Not everyone is bullied or being the bully but there is at least one kid who is a bully or a victim.
    2. True. The most popular kids are the biggest bullies. I remember when I was in high school, I was popular and I was in the wrong crowd. All my friends in high school were a part of the popular crowd and we were not the nicest kids. I regret being part of the wrong crowd. I'm ashamed of what I done. However, I did witness some unpopular kids being bullies. I remember this one guy who kept getting ganged up by a bunch of unpopular guys in his grade... I wish I did something to stop it.
    3. True. When I was in middle school, I went to a Christian school and I was bullied. Bullying does occur in Christian schools and Christian events. This is why I never converted to Christianity and I resent Christianity so much. I went to Jewish places and they were very nice to me. I didn't witness any bullying in Jewish groups and events. In my Mosque, we have groups for children and we have religious events but barely any bullying occurs. I'm in charge of the children sometimes and I would never allow it to happen.

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  • Here's another thought about bullying.

    People almost *NEVER* admit or even realize when they are being bullies.

    I once asked the question "Who was bullied?" and got scores of replies. I asked the question "Who was a bully?" and got two replies, and one had misread the question thinking I was asking, "Who was bullied?"

    I think there's probably an excellent chance that someone in your past thinks you were a bully.

    P. S., I was bullied, and I was a bully.

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  • When I moved to Salt Lake City, from Las Vegas I was a punk rock kid, in a small town, I hadn't even completely registered before the "popular" kids stepped in...

    What those kids didn't know was I had been a competitive fighter in Vegas. I remember when I had the typical bullying situation, walking down the hall when the big jock and his two cronies step up to me. So I jumped up and just touched his nose with the sole of a combat boot. Not to hurt, just to warn.

    Then me standing there taunting them, "come on, all three of you let's go" I think that was an important lesson to me. I didn't hurt anyone, but got my point across.

    Good mytake.

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  • they can fix the locker issue. just get small square lockers.

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  • Yeah.

    The best research I've read on number 2 says most bullying is by people who are near but not at the top of the social ladder. The kids at the top are genuinely 'cool' and popular. The kids around them are more precarious, they're sort of cool but their social status is more based on their position and closeness to the top people, so they use bullying to win favor and keep others down.

    Another thing not recognized well is that bullies typically gain status from bullying. They're not all maladjusted freaks (though there are some). They bully because it actually does make them more popular.

    The bystanders have a huge impact.

    I think bullying has always been a problem in different ways, but over decades, the responsibility for ending bullying, like so many things, has been delegated towards authority. In my father's day, people didn't have as much of a 'go tell authority' attitude and had more of a 'it's our job as (young) men standing here to maintain order'. So some bullying was accepted but there was an expectation that the group enforced its own norms. Obviously that doesn't work perfectly, but the modern environment where nobody does anything and waits for teacher to fix it doesn't work well at all, and especially doesn't handle environments like online where there are -no- authorities available.

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  • It's really easy to deal with this kind of people. You just don't care about them and act as you don't even know that they are around you. Just don't hang out with them. They don't even deserve to have a communication with you.
    What makes people nervous is that they think they don't have the power to deal with such a popular person and they think that person has more confidence because he is just popular. Yeah, the bully is really confident of that when he chooses you to bully and you must show him that's not true and you are confident enough that you don't even care about him. It's not school that must stop bullying, it's the duty of someone who is bullied. So just defend yourself and other people who are bullied and start from yourself.
    When a person bullied you in a religious event, he is stupid enough that he doesn't even know he's actions are in contradiction with religion and he's showing his real personality. It must boost your confidence over him because he is failed.

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  • From personal experience of being bullied in the past I've learned that people are social creatures first, moral and logical second.

    Why do people stay friends with the popular kid even when they're acting like assholes right in the open? Usually it's because that kid is outgoing and obnoxiously loud. This makes people feel a social bond to them, feel as if they know them, even if they recognise the kid's bad sides.

    The victim on the other hand is usually shy and submissive, blending into the background. You wouldn't help someone that's a stranger. You haven't bonded with them so there's no urgency, no sense of loyalty that compels you to help. Same way that you wouldn't take the time to talk to a beggar on the street and see if they're a decent enough person that deserves a bit of charity.

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    • Excellent comment. You might be right. I wonder if also the popular kid is exercising power by attacking weaker kids. If you land on his bad side, you, too, will be crushed, belittled and ostracized?

    • @brain5000 I can't say I'm capable of going that far into detail about a bully's mindset, all I can propose is that they may very well do it like a ritual, to solidify their claim of dominance again and again.

  • Great MyTake. In my opinion, the bully must not just be beaten but destroyed (not kill). The movie, Ender's Game, demonstrates this best..."The Fight to End All Fights".

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPJEgfD1o7I

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  • I agree with the first one the most. The harsh truth is bullying will never stop in school, it just goes on. The only ways you probably can stop or prevent bullying is either:

    1. Lower bullying statistically or ratings by adding more surveillance or whatever the school decides to do.
    2. Give a severe punishment on the bullies so that people wouldn't dare ever bully anymore.
    3. Find the root cause of why people bully in first place.

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    • Me personally if I was in charge I would see bullying as a criminal offence and by that I would hit either the bully or parents in their pockets. I big time fine works wonders rather than any negative comment in a planner, detention or isolation.

  • Bullying made me turn myself into a skilled fighter , as there was no other choice. I can thank them for knowing I can still effectively protect my family !! Many years back , bumped into a former school bully at a social function , whilst in my British Army dress uniform , sporting para wings... he admitted " I would never fuck with you now !! " ..& bought me a drink too !! Good take & very true , not even KGB style surveillance & repression can stop bullying.

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  • you gotta understand the education system as a whole is occult in nature
    so they don't care

    and yes of course the most popular people bully the most it's how it goes either knock them out or ignore them your choice

    youth group is try to teach the kids most kids don't listen only a few
    there to busy thinking of themselves

    the human race is in sin so expect the worst

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  • All true especially no1. I found that nothing was done but yet when I fought back against my bullies all of a sudden I was suspended.

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    • I never understood that either. You know the whole reasoning behind that is don't you. To discourage

    • @Northerngal90 yes to keep you quiet and so the school doesn't look bad. My Dad was smart though after I was attacked by a guy on the wrestling team and his buddy they tried to get me expelled because I had some martial arts training and had broken on of the guys noses, he brought me to hospital and had me bound up in a neck brace because I'd been slammed on hard concrete and then our lawyer came with us to a meeting that was supposed to expel me and basically said we would be sueing the school for training my attacker in wrestling and for letting it happen on school grounds. They settled out of court as did my bullies.

  • I always found that in the movies I watched the popular kids "jocks" "cheerleaders" were the bullies which seems accurate to real life. I always wondered why many really popular people are complete dicks?

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    • It's because they are insecure and want to make other people feel bad about being "unpopular."

    • @danyalovettie44 huh? I don't get why the popular people wouldn't be nicer people who don't get a kick out of making others miserable. A lot of people don't care much about being popular so that's not the only way they act like jerks.

    • It's all stupid lol. I don't even care for the reason they do it. They just think they're superior to others.

  • Agree with 1&2 but have no evidence of #3 being true after loads of experiences

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  • Disagree with the article it is not the goddamn schook job to stop the bullying it is your fucking job to make it stop.

    I was bullied and it was hard and I stand up for myself. It was my fault for being weak and to still be weak to some extent.

    You dont change the world, the world is tough so rather than #stopbullying you should rather do #stopbeingweak cause the first one won't change but it is up to the weak to becomz stronger.

    Just my opinion.

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  • #1 is true.

    Won't argue with #3.

    If anything, I thought the 'popular' kids were most portrayed by the media as bullies. Like in "Carrie", "The Perks of Being a Wallflower", and Kevin in "Ed, Edd n Eddy".

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  • i used to get battered by older lads when i was 10 i never told my parents or anyone because my parents used to batter me aswell lol. so i thought it was normal used to get abused by everyone fuckin hell

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  • I was bullied by cheerleaders and band geeks for being on the wrestling team.

    Believe bullying goes even more beyond.

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