Introverted Means Having No Friends? WRONG. Please, Learn the Difference.

[Chris1456]

I keep hearing this all the time. If you go somewhere by yourself, you are a loser without friends, or people will judge you because you are on your own. But here is my thought: What if society said the opposite? That it was okay to be by yourself and not okay to be with people all the time?

I am a social introvert. I like being on my own and do my own thing, but I also like to socialize every once in a while. I keep having extroverted friends who spend every day with their friends, and whenever I meet a new bunch of people, I end up being the one who is not left out, but not as included as the others, here's why.

As a Introvert, I enjoy MY OWN company. I like having the freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I like to eat my dinners in a restaurant, go to gigs, or go for walks by myself, hell I can be a hermit and not leave my place for a few days and be happy about it. Instead of going out clubbing , I would rather stay home, have a glass of whiskey or a cup of tea and watch Netflix, play video games or listening to music while reading a good book.

The thing that I don't appreciate is when I walk on my own, eventually go to events on my own, people will automatically thing that I am just a loser without friends. WRONG. I DO have friends, people with my personality type also have friends. We just like to have our ALONE time. Extroverts recharge their batteries by being with people. We recharge ours by being BY OURSELVES. And what is wrong about that ? I honestly like our ability to enjoy our own company. I think that our ability to do our own thing without being with people is a strength, not a weakness, because at least, we can do our own thing and do what we wanna do without having to ASK people if they wanna come along. A band I love is coming near me ? Great i'll go. I wanna eat in a pub instead of home? Cool, I will just take my laptop and watch a show on Netflix while eating.

The ones I consider real friends are the ones that I understand how I work. They don't get offended if I spend a week or two without messaging them. But as soon as I feel like going out, I can text them and they will arrange something so I can catch up with them and go out and don't feel offended if I feel like going home early.

Like I said, we do have friends. Not as many as extroverts. But we chose more carefully who we wanna pick. People who will get us, understand how we work and we can have genuinely connections and deep conversations with. I would rather have a small group of friends (even if I don't have a click or squad) whom I can trust, have my back and have actual conversations with, than a huge bunch of people I barely know or who I just drinking buddies. And also people who we feel are "worthy" enough for us to spend our energy being with.

So next time you see someone by him or herself or not really talkative don't pity him because you think he/she has no friends. Just understand he/she is a introvert and we are able and can enjoy being by ourselves and not have to be with people/talk all the time. This is a strength. Not a weakness.

[Antrop]

I also like peace and quiet even though I have friends. Don't get me wrong I enjoy spending some time socializing with them. It is fun to socialize but after couple of hours I get tired and I want to be alone in my room resting playing games, watching some anime or just doing the work in peace.

Even in workplace I tend to like peace and quiet because I can focus much more easily on things I need to do. I don't have time or energy to go out a lot but I'm not regretting that. I'm glad that there are people like you who are not afraid of being who they are.

[Anonymous]

Im an introvert, with a good number of friends. I dont think I come off as a loner in public because people that see me often know i have friends even if im alone that day. The reality is after too much socializing i feel like i NEED some alone time. Its a strange necessity but it is the way it is. I accept this though so if I ever do seem like I have no friends to others, i dont really care because thats not true and im just being myself.

[jp612612]

I can tell a lot of people like this MyTake, but I find it sort of weird. You see, I'm quite introverted and it's obvious to everyone who knows me. But at the same time, I've never felt the need to justify myself and in the end, that's what this MyTake is all about. Maybe those are separate things, but somehow, as I read the above, I find the need to justify my behavior to be incompatible with being an introvert. Like, I don't care if people think I have no friends and that strikes me as quite aligned with being introverted, that is, my introversion does not stem from shyness, but rather from being so self-absorbed that I ignore the desires and interests of people that I don't know.

And the more I think about it, the more I think about how being introverted for me means that my greatest interest is looking at myself. During my divorce, I was accused of domestic violence and the counter to that is to get a therapist who runs all sorts of tests on you and declares you non-violent etc. Anyway, I admit that I loved having the therapist explain the results to me. He showed me a graph and showed how I was way, way below average in terms of violence and aggression and explained how in looking at these results, you're always looking for abnormal spikes.

Me: "What's that spike on the far right".
Him: "You're highly introverted"

I'm not going to lie, I was tickled to death that a set of tests could make that determination.

[Nyx_85]

This is totally me. I'm an INFJ and we are known as the 'social introverts'. We are highly empathetic (we want to fix like everyone's problems haha) and we tend to communicate well and come off as very sociable WHEN we want to be. However one issue is this makes people think we are extroverted when we really aren't. So when we tell people we need time alone they can get weirded out by it. When we say we are introverted they say "But you don't seem like it!" They expect an introvert to be a totally shy recluse who can't talk to anyone. That isn't true at all. But we do need a good amount of time alone to 'recharge our batteries'.

Also being a chick going places alone can be a bit harder. I mean no offense (I bet it's hard as a dude too) but it's true. I would hang out in bars alone.

[Nyx_85]

*I would NEVER hang out in bars alone.

[Chris1456]

I am INFJ as well lol

[Owlinprogress]

I feel the same, I'm also a social introvert. I don't really care if they think I'm a loner. But don't want them to pity me like you said. And I'm so grateful I also have friends like you described. I can simply just say "no" whenever they ask me to hang out, and nothing changes :)

[HurtBae1]

im introverted and have friends just a handful though because I'm very picky about who i let into my life but one your in your family, i can go out and be social with my friends but after that i just need time alone i don't feel like I'm weird for it i actually enjoy being alone its when I'm most comfortable :)

[jersos1]

This is exactly me! I am just like you, man! each and every thing that you tell here resonates with me. I think introverts are much more intelligent and powerful than extroverts.

We just don't want that attention from people.

And it's nice to meet you fellow introvert! We rock the world in silence!

[Naydyonov]

I'm an introvert and while I do generally have friends I don't have daily ones.
In the meaning that on a daily basis I have no friends.

I haven't talked to my friends in 1-6 weeks and I'm definitely good

[Chris1456]

I would advice to keep in touch every once in a while to keep the relationship alive tho ! :) I have some friends whom i really speak to but still make an effort and try to meet up because i don't want the relationship to die ! depends on who is worth it tho !

[Naydyonov]

I know, i just live kinda far away and they're busy with their own stuff so I leave them in peace

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

I'm very much an introvert, and yet I have plenty of friends. In a given week, I have more things to do with other people than I have time to do it in. It's just that doing things with others wears me the fuck out. For every hour I spend doing things socially, in which I'm really truly engaged with others, I have to take about 3 hours to be by myself and recuperate.

[steveguitar]

Love this, I do think though that a lot of introverts go through changing of friends more often that more social people, it can be difficult to find a fit. It can be difficult to make friend s with the interests we have sometimes, but eventually someone will come to understand you.

[Chrysis]

This.
Almost straight out of my head. When your next myTake is going to be about how introverted does not equal being shy, I will hunt you with a burning pitchfork because that means you're actually in there, lol.

[zagor]

WHO tells you this? I have traveled all over the world on my own and the only person who made any comment whatsoever was an elderly Polish woman who scoffed when I told her I was single. I think going by yourself can make it much easier to meet new people.

[snugasabug]

Introverts have the confidence to feed their own happiness by being COMFORTABLE enough with being just by themselves :)

[RedThread]

Yeah there's a definite difference between introvert and antisocial. Introverts can and do enjoy social interactions but it does tire them after a while so they recharge their batteries with personal time.

[depeche2015]

right, introversion just means you like to be alone and prefer it. being an introvert doesn't mean i don't want friends. we do have friends but rather be alone. we get drained by too much social interaction. people don't understand that

[Darknut123]

Well said !😁

[CoffeeGirl456]

I understand some of my friends are introvert and i do respect them dont worry at least they never start any world war.

[batwriter1979]

Me as an introvert, I like being alone. Working by myself, feeling like a rebel. Saturday nights-walking or on my Razor scooter! Yup. One drink, a cold coffee. Or now, I have my Xbox One Slim. Great writing, 1456!

[HOAAH]

This is me too. If i had a Facebook, i would have shared this. I am intp.

[meowcow]

I've always considered introverts as people who keeps tight friendships with only a few people in their life. Whereas those who have no friends are socially awkward, or sociopaths.

[Jayson101]

Why does anyone care if anyone else is an introvert? I was introverted, occasionally extroverted and I don't care if people see me that way or not. It's not important

[art84]

I consider myself introverted and don't have any friends. I know a few people but don't hang out with them as they live their own lives.

[Jager66]

Introverts have more active brains and as a result are happy with less outside stimulation.

Extroverts have less active brains and require outside stimulation to be happy.