I'm gonna start with this excerpt that I found online.
"Faking your way through life is believing that if you let people know the real you, they won't like you. The tapes that play in your head say that if people really knew what was going on inside you, they would lose respect for you. Maybe you keep trying to pretend to make others happy, including God, and you are exhausted, physically, emotionally and spiritually. While you play those roles, juggling those masks you have to wear and hiding your pain ... the pressure increases to keep pretending you have it all together. Consider the cost of our souls when we do this, the loss of ourselves ... I would never discover my true identity ... unless I began identifying and laying down my masks, and so I began a process of stripping down the defenses I had built up over the years."
I relate to this and agree with this so much. I've had my own phase of faking it just because I thought no one would like the true, raw, real me. It was stupid, I agree. And I didn't want to come across as a hot, rich, spoilt person. No, that isn't why I was faking it. I was faking it so that people love me and I confirm to the standards set by those horrible people who can't accept the true, real self of a person.
Obviously, there are times when it is adaptive to protect your true self or your thoughts and feelings.
Some people think that the situations are unsafe and it is wise to hold back. That said, if you identify yourself as frequently donning masks in "unsafe" situations (where you fear criticism, belittling, anger, etc.), it may be worth looking at how to reduce your exposure to these people and/or situations. Isn't it?
As you become more aware of the circumstances in which you don a certain mask, don't be frustrated if you can't change your behavior right away.
You've likely been doing this for years, perhaps even your entire life. Be patient and gentle with yourself. It's really important to be your real self in a world where fakeness is worshipped, and yet nobody likes people who are fake.
How long will you carry on hiding behind the facade of "ideal" person?
I'M A REAL PERSON.
I HAVE FLAWS.
I MAKE MISTAKES.
AND I DON'T REGRET THE WAY I AM.
I LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM.
And how do you become a real person?
Here are four traits of real or authentic person:
Mindfulness:
What’s really bothering you? Is it really because your co-worker is always a little late or that your partner left the cap off the toothpaste or forgot to take out the garbage? Could it be that it’s a symptom of something else that should be addressed? Do you have any responsibility in that behavior?
When we’re mindful, we’re paying attention to our feelings and thoughts. We connect with ourselves, resulting in the formation of a strong foundation for both personal and professional relationships.
And that's the first step.
Compassion:
We all know that person, the one with the constant smile on his or her face.
This person never shows any emotion and never gets angry or upset; and, boy, you have no idea what’s in his or her mind. You constantly walk on those eggshells, wondering when that shoe will finally drop, when th bomb will actually go off.
While you don’t want to be hurtful, harsh or known for those hot-headed, knee-jerk temper tantrums, you certainly don’t want to be emotionally dishonest either, Do you?
When you repress your genuine feelings it’s not only an exhausting waste of energy, but it also affects morale and motivation in any environment; after all, how can one correct something if they don’t know it needs improving?
Self-respect:
This really goes hand-in-hand with confidence, because real, authentic people know themselves so well they don’t constantly play those negative “tapes” that can cause second-guessing and doubt. That’s not to say they never have those thoughts, but they’ve created a balance in their lives so they know how to force the negative out and keep moving. They’re quietly and calmly confident and self-assured. They aren’t hindered by the paralysis of “what will people say” or “I’m not good enough” or perfectionists.
Courage:
Fear can really hold us back, because it is exactly when we stretch ourselves past our limits—even to the point of discomfort—that we grow.
Real, authentic people have the courage of their convictions and live their lives based on that information. They have a strong inner strength which builds self-confidence and the ability to face challenges and take fast action, when needed.
Awareness is everything. Don't put pressure on yourself to change overnight, and be compassionate with yourself. Trust that if you set the goal of being more real, via the dropping of your habitual masks, you will be able to do this with time. And it will feel so good! It will feel so good once you finally stop pretending.
All love,
Angelina25 <3
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