American History 101 and Business 101: Taught by Professor Donald J. Trump

Class..Class. Settle Down
Class..Class. Settle Down

Class. Settle down. I am Donald J. Trump. I am your professor for American History. Now I don't know anything about History, but I can tell you about Business. Believe me. I wrote the Art Of the Deal". It was a best seller..Believe me..

American History 101 and Business 101: Taught by Professor Donald J. Trump

Class. We will now talk about size. Size matters. Believe me. Especially in bed. Ask Stormy Daniels. I was the biggest she had! Believe me. Long Dong Silver and John Dough got nothing on me! Believe me! Ron Jeremy learned from me! I taught him. Believe me. Now why is crowd size big, because I had the biggest inauguration crowd size. More than Obamas. Believe me

American History 101 and Business 101: Taught by Professor Donald J. Trump

Now Class. How we got out Independence is important.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/05/us/politics/trump-airports-revolutionary-war.html

Paul Revere, good man Paul, Very smart and nice. He was on this hang glider. Since the airports were closed and the British were trying to come. And Ben Franklin tried getting a hold of Paul. Good guy Ben. Very smart man. He was telling them about the incoming British who were trying to land their planes..

But Ben being the smart man he was, sent a telegraph to the troops.. They were at LaGuardia AirPort. So since John McClain wasn't around to stop them, they had to find a way to do so...

George wrote to his wife telling her the inflight movie was horrible, so he opted for peanuts since they wouldn't get stuck in his teeth.

But class, seriously, believe me. Those Ramparts.. They are red glare. With those bombs bursting in air, you can see the Betsy Ross Flag still there.

American History 101 and Business 101: Taught by Professor Donald J. Trump

Now class. Believe me, this flight was important. These troops were stopped at the air port. The agents seen rifles on them, so they couldn't come. As well as Benedict Arnold and Robert E. Lee stopped them in the water

American History 101 and Business 101: Taught by Professor Donald J. Trump
American History 101 and Business 101: Taught by Professor Donald J. Trump
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Glue-Sniffer

    Oh man! How did you get invited to one of these exclusive lectures in his head?

    4 likes
  • BrookieCookie0422

    This is hilarious. I could hear DJT talking as I read this

    4 likes

Most Helpful Guys

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What Girls & Guys Said

510
  • Dargil

    I won't even bother with this or Leftists in general. You cannot be rehabilitated. You all are bringing about Civil War (bad) but we have the guns and ammo (good). Watch for your darling Antifa to start dropping like flies. This is all very cute. It won't be for much longer.

    3 likes
    • wow the butthurt is real

    • Dargil

      @MainePrincess Butt you haven't seen it yet.

    • @Dargil Tell me how that lock her up is coming along.

    • Show All
  • The English claimed all the land on Earth and a substantial section of Mars, only to find that Mars had already been purchased by Donald Trump, who then classily renamed the whole planet “Trump.”

    — Dave Barry

    I like President Trump, but a little satire never hurt anyone...

    4 likes
  • DJZest

    The hatred is almost tangible.

    Faking it to spill it all out, that unfounded rage against anything and everything rational, true and good.

    You're fooling no one but the delusional, ignorant, foolish, emotionally-led, etc.

    But keep on doing what you do.

    2 likes
    • awwww I'm sure he didn't mean to troll you into acting like a crybaby... but I'm sure you know all about being hateful and weak... just keep using your big boy words

    • DJZest

      @MainePrincess you're in the catergory "emotionally-led"

    • @DJZest did I trigger you? Hmm. GIve my regards to Chancellor Merkel.

  • WalsallGuy90

    Absolutely loved this, brilliant take on the Idiot-In-Chief :D I'm just wondering how long before the Trump apologists and far-right supporters we unfortunately have here spot this and invade the thread.

    Good show, my friend, good show!

    4 likes
  • markscott

    This is a fairy good rendition of what Trump knows about history, the art of the deal, but lying is another matter. Trump has post doctorate in lying.

    5 likes
  • differentpixel

    Fascinating, how airports were around so long ago. I never knew that.

    5 likes
  • Christina79

    Don’t forget Trump University, his casinos go “bankrupt”.

    4 likes
  • call_me_scar

    Tremendous job, next time next time write about his work out routine. oh wait he doesn't have one

    3 likes
  • R_Cakes91

    Is it weird that I read this in Trumps voice the entire time? Lol

    1 likes
  • Vesta

    Idiotic president. biggest idiotic president in the history of the u. s.

    1 likes
  • Kayla45

    This was funny, thank you.

    2 likes
  • LOL Let me bear your children!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    2 likes
  • nice share

    2 likes
  • realAji

    I love you

    1 likes
  • MaximVasyuk

    Fake

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