Unpopular Opinion: people who put a child up for adoption& have/keep kids later on in life should adpot their own child back or pay back child support

[Anonymous]

If you can make the decision to have consenual sex, then you should accept responsibility for bringing a child into the world. Even if the kid is an "accident." The foster care system is horrendous, I have met multiple people that barely survived and all of their stories involve physical/emotional/sexual abuse, neglect, constant shuffling, people using them as a check and for women, a lot of them ended up teenage mothers. How can someone shed the responsibility of a child and then later on in life have a new family without ever looking back? And expecting society to pay for and raise that childchildis?--ridiculous. There should be laws in place if you have and keep children after giving up past children, you should pay back child support to the family that took responsibility for your choices or you should adpot your own child and raise it. Too many times have I heard stories of people saying they "weren't ready" or "I wasn't with the right person"...then use a goddamn condom AND pull out, since those options are readily available compared to birth control, or don't have sex unless you fully understand that it creates a living, breathing human being with your DNA. And, if you can't afford protection, you can't afford to have sex. On any given day, there are 443,000 foster kids in the United States. How many of them have the sad misfortune of being born to 2 incompetent people f**king freely and then having the option to dump their problem? At the very least, people who have kids after fostering past children should learn the full details of what foster care was like for their given-up child. I bet a large chunk of them would be horrified at the experiences some of those kids have.

[Celtero]

I see your point but the alternatives are abortion, or being raised by parents who don't want you.

And I get that being responsible when it comes to having sex is optimal, but you'll do well to remember people are shitheads so that's pretty hard for them.

[broken_heart_at_48]

I agree I was definitely not ready to be a I was involved in illegal activities (and was pretty good at it) I had several girls I was messing with a few of them literally in the same bed at the same time. I partied every day. Until I became a dad I left it all behind me I never hit rock bottom like everyone says you gotta hit to be able to leave it alone. I was one of the ones on top always had a pocket full of money and lots of girl friends that knew what I was doing and chased me all the more. I went from that to deciding I needed to be a dad. I had to go away for a little while for some things I had already done. When I came home I got a job and worked my ass off in the beginning I have to admit I was tempted to make some money the easy way because I was bumming rides and hitch hiking and couldn't even afford shoes that fit I had a pair that was half a size too small because every penny I made went to taking care of my baby and my new instant family I ate twice a day dinner and lunch and lunch only if there was left overs from dinner I drank water from the sink but non of that mattered because I was a dad my babies momma was strung out and wasn't taking good care of my daughter I ended up getting custody of my daughter when she was one and a half (primary residence I fought for 6.5 years to get sole legal custody) and kept on working my ass off I worked 2 jobs and went to school. I started out with a record and an 8th grade education and could barely read. Pretty much couldn't read so if I could do all these assholes saying they gave them up because they weren't ready are just lazy. Maybe it's because I had seen how bad it could be for these kids to have to live like that ( foster system) all I knew was I wasn't going to just leave my kid hanging

[HedwigInABox]

That's a bad idea for several reasons:
1. People will abandon their Babies at random places for others to find instead of putting them up for addoption.
2. the child is probaby better of anywhere else than with a parent that doesn't want them.
3. Abortion rates will increase. ( not that I'm against abortion per se but it shouldn't be used as birth Control)
4. I don't think someone who gives up their kid for adoption is always a terribIe person. It could be a rape victim that didn't want to abort but also couldn't be a good mother to her rapists child.

But agree I that there should be some sort of justice but this will only hurt others more than the ones responsible

[HedwigInABox]

I think I accidently closed this for replies. Not sure

[myTake Owner]

No, no rape babies. I mentioned **consensual** sex

[creampie99]

i agree the foster system is wacked and anyone who just dumps their kid in tht is a piece of shit. BUT if some decides to go the adoption route and finds a loving couple to adopt their baby who wants a baby but maybe can't conceive then i dont think tht is wrong at all... i dont hate people who have unplanned pregnancys bc i believe everything is in gods hands and sadly some people get rapped and tht leads to an unplanned pregnancy, i just think its what people do from there is whats important. there are plenty of couples or older women who want to adopt, and end up going that route to have a family. it can be a blessing

[MysteriousDarkness]

Guess you did not think about rape victims.
What if two people gave consensual sex the lets say then the company where the woman works goes out of business and the guy gets in a serious accident. Then he has his identity stolen and his bank accounts are wiped clean. On top of that there home gets destored by fire, tornado, flood, hurricane or something else. Should they keep the baby or give it up for adoption or move in with some friend or relatives and have them mainly be the one financially taking care of the baby. I know it is extreme but could happen.

[broken_heart_at_48]

Of course there's exceptions to the rule but there's very few exceptions it's like when I would run into an old homeboy and he would feed me a bunch of excuses as to how hard it was to get out of the old life and all the things keeping him down I'd remind them who I am where I came from and the hurdles I had to over come. We'll I had no future other than prison and death I marked myself for life with ink as someone to be careful around had a violent criminal past read about as good as a first grader and only work experience I had I definitely couldn't put on application. And I got a job digging ditches and worked harder than anyone else so I could advance and kept my mouth shut the hardest thing ever was not beating the crap out of people I wasn't use to turning the other cheek

[KrakenAttackin]

This is almost always bullshit. Pregnancies by rape are the tiniest of all pregnancies, small fractions of one percent.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@KrakenAttackin
Way to make light of it.

[KrakenAttackin]

Not "making light", just calling it out as bullshit 99.9999% of time. The percentage is so small it's not worth a special exemption. Crying "rape" has always been a powerful weapon women have.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@KrakenAttackin
Rape is a serious thing you fool. I take it very serious unlike you. I have a friend who got raped and pregnant by the one who raped her.

[KrakenAttackin]

That's her story.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@KrakenAttackin
What do you mean by that it's her story?

[DizzyDesii]

My cousins mom gave her to her grandma.. then like 2 years later she starts having other children and treats them like kings/queens. She kept them but only goes over to visit her other daughter at her moms. Its so jacked up that she didn't invite her to live with her til that cousin turned 18

[Anonymous]

I was given up for adoption and then my birth mother immediately went on to have three more kids. I am forever left with the question of "why did you get rid of me"?

My adoptive parents divorced almost immediately and were shitty parents over all. I have struggled a lot in all facets of life. I have come to the conclusion that God knew me in the womb, and he hated me, and still hates me today.

[NfRealMusicFanGirl]

I am in Foster care, and it is not all bad. But yeah I agree with you, they should have to pay for their mistakes and that law should be there.

[KrakenAttackin]

I am glad you found a good place in foster care. I hope you find a loving home with people who can help you realize your full potential. The best part of life is in front of you, seize it!!

[hashtagsuburban]

Pay child support not re adopt them that conversation won't go well with the kid

[Redstang88]

Or don’t force people to have kids they don’t want and can’t look after

[myTake Owner]

Force those people that had kids to own up to their responsibility. Don't want kids? Be smarter about having sex. Thats a bullshit cop out.

[KrakenAttackin]

Yuppers.

[Lauren-green]

@ mytake owner sometimes even when you take the precaution with contraception, it can still cause pregnancy. Even with female and male contraception, accidents can happen and accidental pregnancy can occur.

[Melissa01979]

Agreed I don’t want and won’t have kids.

[myTake Owner]

I just gpt scheduled for a tubal in February! Which is a miracle considering I am 23

[Melissa01979]

Well for me it helps I’m married to woman who also doesn’t want kids. My kids are the furry kind.

[MarkusCopeland]

What does that have to do with the topic?

[KrakenAttackin]

Good. The fewer mentally ill people who have kids the better we will all be.

[SecretGardenBlood65]

Good take