Should Child support go to the child? Or should the child live with their father?

I do not like the idea of child support. We all have to be responsibly men and women. Most of the time to me it just looks like greediness.

Should Child support go to the child? Or should the child live with their father?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • MisterKer
    I have a story for this.. So in my previous marriage i was with my wife for 13 years. We have a daughter. My wife worked 3rd shift. An Older co worker basically set my wife up with her son.. so the day after x mas i returned home from work and was told i needed to leave out of nowhere but didn't want to start an argument so i left.. after spending the night in my car went to work the next morning. During the day i made numerous attempts to call my wife with no response after work i had voice message not to come home. After this went on for a week sleeping in my car i realized that i just lost everything.. shortly after i got the divorce papers.. the car my wife was driving was in my name with a loan i continued to pay for while separated.. so while i was couch surfing from friend to friends houses and trying to save for a place to live we got our court date. Obviously i couldn't afford an attorney and she managed to get one.. i ended up with child support payment of 160$ a week plus have to insure my child and my ex. Also she got to keep the car while i paid it off 300$ a month, and they garnished my wage for the support i wasn't paying through the department of revenue, From the day i was kicked out until divorce was final. She got half my 401k.. Also i got no physical custody and only half legal.. the system is broken especially in Massachusetts.. is just shows that a wife that is going behind her husband's back to date someone is rewarded in Massachusetts
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    • Cmay2220

      I'm so sorry you went through that I don't know if you are still going through it. I really can't imagine being robbed like that having your check garnish. That's some BS. I'm a woman I'm so against the way child support is use on men in this country it's really messed up and most of the time the men can't even see their freaking kid like WTF. Keep being strong man

    • MisterKer

      Ty.. The garnish is done now still pay same but my daughter is almost 16 now and well worth the investment. Just wish things went down differently lol. In my state men get crushed in custody its almost a given. by the way you seem like a real cool woman 👍🍺

    • A frucking disgrace

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  • andreasderjuengere
    When my ex back then spent it for her own conveniences: I let her run dry.
    She then felt 'forced' (?) to get herself a relatively unattractive (in shape, as well as in morals) 'provider'.
    Divorce- and Child support- laws definitely need to be re-worked.
    My view: if I pay the bill: I'll have the 'goods'; I COULD agree on split bill. Unless I'd be a complete asshole, of course... which would have to be proven.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Mädchen
    It really depends on the individual Situation.
    1. Does the father want to be a father? If yes, he should pay for His child. If He doesn't want to be in the Kids Life at all, He shouldn't. Just Like women have a Last way Out of motherhood with abortion.
    2. Is the Kid with him, Just as much as He is with the mother? If yes, then No He shouldn't.
    3. Does the child live with his mother full time and He only Sees the Kid occasionally? Then yes he shoud pay. However He should have the Chance to buy his Kid clothes, Toys and other Things it might need on His own so He knows where his Money goes. But Rent, food and all that should be calculated so he he can pay his Share. which wouldn't be that much. Maybe 80€ for food and another 100 for rent, Heat and all that.
    I don't want to bash all men but I personally haven't Met many men that actually want to be involved in their Kids Life Just as much as the mother is. My sister actually told her ex husband He doesn't have to pay child Support If he only Visits His daugther every 2 weeks. Which he doesn't. And I know many similar Stories. Anyways men should obviously still get the Same chances women do by law
    Is this still revelant?
    • Cmay2220

      Pretty fair to me good point thanks

    • I agree with all of this except the part about men not wanting to be part of their children's lives. That certainly applies to a lot of men, but I personally know more who want to be an equal partner in the parenting of their children.

  • Children should be born only in the context of marriage & divorce shouldn't happen unless "fault" can be proven, in which case, primary custody goes to the person who's not "at fault" & the partner who's "at fault" pays child support, if necessary.

    As for out-of-wedlock children... Men's Rights Activists need to stop being hypocrites about this. If men don't want to be obligated by law to provide for the children they help create, then they have to stop acting like they're entitled to custody.
    On the other hand, if the law can guarantee that fathers have custody (as I believe they should) even if the mother doesn't want him to have it, then the law can obligate that fathers have financial responsibility, even if he doesn't want it. If the law can give equal rights, it can give equal responsibility. MRAs can't pick and choose.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Liam_Hayden
    Really child custody should be 50/50. Support during that time should come from the parent who then has custody. If one parent or the other ran the home, he/she will get spousal support.

    If one parent is found unfit by a court, then real child support costs should be paid

    In any event, what should end is the system wherein someone gets extravagant child support and spends it upon himself/herself.
    • Cmay2220

      I agree I feel the child should go to the parent who is first more fit and financially stable to take care of the child.

    • "the child should go to the parent who is first more fit and financially stable"
      Yeah because who cares about the baby being breastfed for the first 2 years as recommended by doctors?

    • Cmay2220

      @mistixs that will all be figure out lol you can send breastmilk through the mail these days.

    • Show All
  • Dongtai
    The meaning is in the name. It’s money to support “the child”. It should be used for their health, food, education and everything needed to provide a child a healthy and safe life.

    It shouldn’t be used to pay “your” personal bills. It should go to the child and if the child support becomes extra cash, stow it away into a college fund.
  • Lance1965
    Child support rarely goes to the child. I was paying a $1,000 a month while the kids walked around in clothes bought at the local Goodwill and lived on crap food bought at the dollar store. My ex also got the house and the car which I worked and paid for. I don't know how it can be done but the recipient of the money should have to provide evidence is really supporting the child.

    I also knew a woman who would use her child support payments to go gambling at the local casino.
  • broncobryan
    I think child support is bullshit, it should go into an account to be used by the child or the mother for stuff for the child and receipts should be provided on demand.
  • NerdInDenial
    It doesn't matter; the majority of women would never vote to change the laws to make it fair.
    • Cmay2220

      Never give up keep fighting. I'm a woman who is against the way child support is use on men by women. We need a better system to make things fair for both women and men. More responsibility.

    • For me, there's no point. I just adapt to the laws, keep my head down, and enjoy the good things in life.

  • RolandCuthbert
    I am sorry. Any man or woman of means, should never have a child go hungry, want for clothes , shelter or an education. Period. I know there is a lot of abuse in the system. But we could clean that up.

    I think a thread on alimony would be much more effective. Because that is where the nonsense begins and ends for me. Why should anyone have to pay spousal support?
  • AynonOMouse
    No child support at all because custody should automatically be 50/50.
    • Cmay2220

      I agree

    • I agree unless one party was abusive to the child. Than the other should get custody 100% with NO visitation.

    • @kespethdude Only if it is proven with actual evidence. Not just the BS baseless claims that people do just to get money or screw over their ex. There needs to be real evidence to have anything other than 50/50 custody.

    • Show All
  • Bananaman177
    As long as women are allowed to abort their own children, why should a man be unable to abort his parental responsibilities?

    If a man is a worthless piece of shit for not supporting his children, what does that make women who abort their kids? Surely a woman who murders her children in the womb is even more worthless as a human than the worst "deadbeat dad."
  • Guanfei
    In my opinion, when child support is allowed, parents should have to open a bank account especially for it, when the money will be kept, and the parent who have to use it should have to show a proof that it was used for the kid, and the kid only.
  • Child support is a governmental scam and ideally a child's mother and father should never divorce.
  • dontgofalling
    I also don't get why when the child stays with the mother the father has to pay, but when it's the other way around she doesn't need to do nothing...
    I mean it's a goddamn financial stereotype...
  • Jackblue
    Well, a man should not go to jail if he can't pay it, and the law should make sure the mother does not squander the money, but I think it is still necessary.
  • camotedragon
    Usually it's just missuse of your money it would be better big your child lives with you
  • Well the idea is that you use the money to support the child. But you are right. Too often it's used to just get the money.
  • Massageman
    Child support should go into a trust account for the minor child regardless of the marriage/divorce outcome.
  • WalterRadio
    There are two inequities that should be changed.

    First, men should be able to require an abortion. The way it is now, it takes two people to conceive, but only one of them can change her mind. That is wrong.

    Second, whoever the child lives with should be the one who pays, neither parent should get any money from the other.

    About 10 years ago, I went out with a 19 year old anchor baby in the LA area. Her mother was pushing her to get pregnant because her welfare was reduced when the girl turned 19. and by having a baby in the house, they would have more welfare income.

    This girl was impressed with me and asked if I would get her pregnant. I politely said no. She asked, "Why not?" I answered, "child support for one." She said she would only ask for $1,000 a month. She didn't understand how rich I was, and I told her that no judge would allow me to get away with $1,000 a month. $10,000 a month, maybe.

    Child support is not fair.
  • Daniela1982
    Depends on the situation. If the mother was a crack whore than the kid should live with his dad and she should have to pay child support. Good luck with that! If his dad is a crack dealing pimp than the kid should live with his mother and he should have to pay child support. Good luck again. If both of them are drug users then grandma should get custody and both of them pay child support to grannie. And again, good luck with that. If grannie was on a fixed income and couldn't even afford to pay her own bills then the kid will go elsewhere. Finally he will be passed around so much he will have to go into therapy because he will see himself as a foot ball. What it comes down to is this. It takes about $300,000 to raise a kid from infancy to age 18, so no one should get a free ride.
  • Pipeliner87
    Tell that to all the single black women in the USA... Trying to pick up all the dead beat fathers would be like trying to get blood from a stone. You won't get anything from them.
  • As someone, who was robbed from child support money while growing up in poverty, I say this is a necessity, that the child support goes straight into the child's own bank account. There are breeders out there incubating (and perhaps also mugging) kids like I used to be for their monetary gain.

    The result of me? A greedy, "selfish", sick and childfree "monster" in the body of the modern homo sapiens, who's also a sociopath since I was socially isolated the majority of my life as a result (being bullied for it). You could say the greed was inherited from my upbringing. But at least money makes me happy :> 💚💰 Money doesn't care who or what you are, money loves you as long you treat the money right. Money is my personal "jesus" if you will.
    And of course, I'm making my own money and won't take it from the others. Judge me to no end if you will.
  • Ben228
    I think it depends on the situation.
  • Wow dass raycyst
  • jasonmattis
    Good. Keep it up.
  • ImpatiensSultani
    Dont open
  • Anonymous
    Or you could just get remarried, that way the father no longer has to
  • Anonymous
    Considering that my dad regularly beat the shit out of me, there is no way in hell I would have lived with him. Add that to the fact that my mother was disabled, there is no way we could have made it without child support. Fuck him.
  • Anonymous
    Child support only pays for half of the cost of raising the child. To be honest I ended up paying 3/4 of the cost of the years after the divorce and 1/4 my ex. He paid the required child support but to live in a safer place I paid higher rent plus I paid for all her medical expenses, etc. He was supposed to pay half but I never made him. At the time it seemed like too much of a hassle to send him the bills and get into arguments about it if he thought was unfair. We had open custody so he could have our daughter whenever he wanted. Because of his work schedule and her school activities I pretty much had her most of the time.
  • Anonymous
    "I don't think we should have child support, we should all be responsible men and women."

    Im sure this makes complete sense to someone.

    I like how people pretend they don't know that sex leads to babies.
  • Anonymous
    You're a credit to your sex, young lady. The feminazis will want your blood.