The Former Emperor’s New Clothes


Once upon a time, there was a mad emperor who was so corrupt and incompetent that he drove his kingdom into ruin. The people could stand it no longer so they drove him off of his throne and stripped him of his title. This made the mad emperor even madder. “I will always be the emperor! It doesn’t matter what the people want – it only matters what I want!”

Determined to retake his throne, he went back to the corrupt and incompetent advisors who had been thrown out with him. “I deserve to be emperor!” he cried. “Tell me how I can take back my throne from the people of this kingdom.” One advisor had an idea: “What you need is to look like the emperor again. Get the fanciest suit that’s ever been made. When people see you wearing that, they’ll immediately accept you as emperor again.” “That’s a great idea!” said the former emperor. “I’ll get the best suit that any emperor has ever worn! EVER!”

The former emperor went to the royal tailor. “Make me the best suit that’s ever been made for any emperor!” he commanded. Now, the tailor knew that the disgraced former emperor had no powers to command. But he decided to humor him. He pretended to hold up a suit. “This is the best suit that any emperor has ever worn. It’s called ‘voter fraud’.” “I don’t get it,” said the former emperor. “It’s a magic suit,” explained the tailor. “It’s invisible to stupid people. But to the very smartest it is the most fabulous and obvious suit ever worn.” “I see it now,” said the former emperor. “Voter fraud is so plain to see, I don’t know why I didn’t see it before.” And it wasn’t clear if the former emperor was lying again or if he really believed he saw the suit. That much was never clear.

The former emperor ran back to his former advisors wearing nothing besides the imaginary suit. “I got the best suit any emperor has ever worn!” he said proudly. The advisors looked at each other. “We don’t see it” they agreed. “It’s a magic suit,” said the former emperor. “It’s called ‘voter fraud’. Only the smartest can see it. Stupid people see right through it. “I see it now!” each said, one after another. “It’s so perfect!” they exclaimed. But there was one junior advisor who admitted “I still don’t see it.” The former emperor whispered to him “Did I mention that anyone who doesn’t see the magic suit will be thrown into the dungeon when I’m made emperor again?” To which, the junior advisor said “I see it too.”

The former emperor arranged to hold a parade where he could show off his magic suit. He told his loyal followers that the suit ‘voter fraud’ was obvious to the smartest but invisible to everyone else. Since they wanted him back as emperor, they were happy to oblige. So, the former emperor paraded down the street in proud nakedness while his followers yelled out how beautiful and obvious his voter fraud suit was.

The Former Emperor’s New Clothes

But all this noise drew the attention of many ordinary people. They were neither mad, nor gullible. They pointed and laughed at the naked man boasting about his imaginary suit. “That’s no emperor!” they yelled. “That’s the Court Jester!” And still the former emperor jumped up and down and screamed about his invisible suit.

Eventually, the real emperor had to step in. He had the former emperor thrown into the Royal Lunatic Asylum. To the end of his days, the former emperor refused to wear clothes, even on the coldest of days, insisting that his imaginary suit really existed.

And the kingdom lived happily ever after.

The Former Emperor’s New Clothes
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Anonymous
    except that we do have evidence of voter fraud. At least enough that the case should be heard by the Supreme Court. I'd like to hear your explanation of dead people filling out requests for mail in ballots and then mailing those ballots in after their death. It's on paper. Physically signed. Hard to call that a computer glitch, my friend. That's fraud no matter what you deranged Trump haters say to try and cover it up. :) There are also HUNDREDS of witnesses who signed statements that can be held up in court as testimony. If they are lying, it's punishable by prison time. Don't you think we should investigate these allegations of fraud so those who lied can be punished since you're so sure that there was no fraud taking place by the Dems?

    You argue like a kindergartner to call everyone names who believe things different than you do. I believe there's enough evidence that it should be looked at. I'll bet my left nut that you were all in favor of investigating the whole Russia/Trump conspiracy with far less actual evidence than what we have for this case. :)

    So the difference is, I'm in favor of investigating all credible accusations of fraud like this, (300 signed testimonies certainly merits some level of investigation to see whether or not they're committing felonies or there was actual fraud), while you appear to only be in favor of it as long as it doesn't hurt your precious Democrat/Socialist party.
    But nice story anyway. Just like the media telling us Biden won. Nothing but a fairy tale at this point.
    Is this still revelant?
    • talloak

      Keep dreaming. Why is it that none of these witnesses exist outside of alt-right conspiracy websites? I can promise you that if they did exist they would be investigated. After all, most of the state elections that you morons accuse of voter fraud were run by Republicans! Why did they conspire to cheat for Biden? Why are they preventing investigations of evidence you claim exist?

  • Ahh but your story is missing the closing chapters. The real emperor sold his people out to an oppressive regime, locked his people into thier homes forcing thier hard earned businesses to go under. Then the real emporer socked his personal armys of antifa and BLM on the people.
    Finally after many years of abuse and degradation the people began to miss the court jester. Because although the court jester wore no clothes, at least the people were prosperous and free.
    Is this still revelant?
    • talloak

      Right. Trump supporters are so extremely prosperous and free! He drove all of you into poverty. That's the greatest irony: liberals were not hurt nearly so much as conservatives by his failures.

    • Yeah that lowest unemployment level ever was just impovrishing everyone. And them lower taxes omg how did I cope getting to keep more of my hard earned money.

    • talloak

      Not only are you poorer than ever, he has made you sicker. You have the highest illness rates even before Covid-19 devastated your ranks. Trump supporters have the highest infection and death rates, liberals have the lowest (which shows the difference between the effects of stupidity and intelligence). Obama gave you health care and you hated him for it. Trump did his best to strip you of health care and you love him for it. I used to feel sorry for you poor bastards. Not any more. You deserve your own destruction. Trump called the Americans who died for their country suckers and losers. But you are the suckers and losers.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girls

  • AmandaYVR
    Hahahahaha. Best bedtime story ever, talloak.
    Maybe he can wrap the 7 milliion “fraudulent” extra ballots around him, to keep him warm. Oh wait, they belong to the other king. Wuh-wuhhhh.
    Is this still revelant?
    • talloak

      Thanks, Amanda. The graphic is perfect too. And one of a good many on the subject.

  • Cookie_Dough_Munch
    Panic! at the Disco is what brought me here and I was not disappointed. This was great
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • goaded
    • talloak

      It's getting scary that Trump supporters consider Fox a liberal network!

  • Heavenly_
    Oh wow lmao that pic is an art though.
    • talloak

      It's a good one. When I googled Trump and emperor's new clothes, I had the pick of many cartoons. The idea occurred to a lot of people over his rein.

  • Virgo31
    Great story 10/10
  • msc545
  • Y2KxD
    You are a crackpot
    • talloak

      At least I don't obey one!