"I was cheated on/backstabbed by my SO/friend. I will never trust people again."
Have you ever seen someone say this? Hell, have you ever been the one to say this? Then it's time to stop being a little bitch and making excuses.
Kambo here, about to give you some real talk and slap some sense into you GAG'ers.
(Here's a picture of a shoe that looks like Stallone, feel free to use it as inspiration or some shit).
I want you to imagine your heart is a house. Let's pretend someone knocks on the door, they seem nice, you know, all done up and shit and they smell good, wearing that stank ass cologne/perfume that you kids like to shoot on youselves these days. What is it like, Chanel or some shit?
Anyway, so you start thinking "hey, this person's cool as shit" so you end up letting them into your house. But then they end up shitting all over the carpet like a dog in heat, and now you're pissed. You start swearing up and down that you're never gonna let someone in your house again. But before you go on your weekly emo ice cream binge and wallow in self sadness, lemme ask you a real question.
Who unlocked the door in the first place? Who made the conscious decision that this person was trust worthy and worth opening the door for?
That's right. It was you.
It's time to start taking responsibility for that like an adult.
"B-But kambo...responsibility...? Responsibility is hard!"
Oh boo hoo.
(A Tobey McGuire being observed in his natural habitat, such a majestic creature).
In life, you will ALWAYS encounter people who are friends with you solely because they want to GET something from you. You, as a person, will NEVER be able to change ANOTHER person and cure them of their asshole-ism. But you can change YOU. You can change and sharpen your methods and observational skills, the valuable tools that are necessary to SPOT these kinds of people.
But most importantly, you can raise your life STANDARDS, the very rules and filtersthat people have to go through to PROVE themselves to you that they are real, and not just a fake friend or SO.
What are these rules and standards you ask? Well, I'm glad you asked (and if you didn't ask too bad, sit down and shut up, I have a very fragile sense of bravado).
A - Words are cheap. Money is easily given. But time, effort, commitment and sacrifice? Oh, that is much more expensive. And it should be the base starting point of gauging a true friend and SO.
B - Equivalent exchange. Never bend over backward for someone who is not willing to bend over as much for you. Don't build a skyscraper of loyalty for someone who hasn't even built a house for you yet. Start from the bottom, for every brick you build for them, have them build one for you. That way, if they stab you in the back, they have just as much to lose as you do.
C - Trust and love yourself before you try and trust and love another person. This is IMPORTANT, and CRITICAL to making friends and forming relationships. Never, EVER make friends or get into relationships in order to seek validation and confidence from people. Doing so will only blind you to the advantages they are trying to take from you. Human beings are NOT drugs people, stop using em' like they are. Be strong and clear of self, only then will the people and the world around you be equally as clear.
So next time, instead of clicking your heels twice and wishing upon a falling star that a good friend or SO will come along like some cheap ass lottery game that you have no control over, sharpen your instincts. Know that you VERY much have control over who you pick in life.
-P.S-
THIS A VERY BASE GUIDELINE TAKE. THERE ARE MORE RULES THAN JUST A, B, AND C GIVEN A CERTAIN SITUATION. ALSO, THIS TAKE IS MEANT TO BE APPLIED ON A STRANGER-TURNED-TO-FRIEND MEETING BASIS, IT DOES NOT APPLY TO PEOPLE YOU WERE FORCD TO GROW UP WITH and LOVE ON A BIOLOGICAL BASE. THAT IS A COMPLICATED SITUATION AND ONE THAT WILL BE ADDRESSED FOR ANOTHER TIME.
kambo out.
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