Why Am I Undateable?

[Anonymous]

I am a twenty two year old girl. I am pretty, thin, and intelligent. I have good sense of humor and varied interests and hobbies. I hang out with mostly guys and go out frequently. I've only dated one guy for less than a year about two years ago. Since that time I have not been approached or come in contact with any guy I have had some kind of connection with. I didn't date in high school and always chalked it up to guys immaturity and hoped I'd meet someone in college. That hasn't seemed to pan out and I'm very frustrated and have started thinking I'm undateable. Could this be true? I really just want that kind of mutual love and admiration that I believe most people want too. My ex gave me that classic it's me not you line when we broke up so I'm not really sure where my shortcomings fall. I'd appreciate any kind of advice or ideas..

[superdudeman]

There are a few reasons why women are single.

The main reason is because women put too high of a standard on the men they interact with.

Such as paying for stuff. If a guy doesn't pay for stuff he's not getting a date. But if he pays for stuff he's a loser. Its a double bind.

The next reason is because you are coming across as unapproachable.

Men like to know that when we approach you, you are going to be warm an inviting.

We would rather approach someone like that, than someone who is shy and is constanly looking away. SImply because it can be interpreted that you don't like us or that you are boring or that your just stuck on yourself.

The way that you make yourself a better more vibrant catch is study things that make women feminine.

The more feminine you act, carry yourself the more men cannot help but be drawn to you.

The way a woman walks, the way she gestures, are just some examples.

Most guys don't know that if you "accidentally" bump into him that you like him.

There are many more reasons why women remain single.

Ill give you one more than I got to go.

If you always hang around with one other girl, meaning its you and your girlfriend, you are going to get passed up.

Why would I want to approach you when I could approach another group of 3 girls who are hotter or just as hot as you. We know taht the other girl is going to feel left out, you are going to feel bad for her and its just going to be harder on us.

Go out with 2 other girls so the other person has company.

And don't go out with more than that either, since large groups can be intimidating for some guys.

So there you have it.

[TServo]

You sound like her. My ex. Exactly down to the last detail. 2 years ago, had a relationship with a girl less than a year. She wasn't the onlt girl I ever dated, but she's the only ex that I still think about. Although I know what her dating status was before me, (exactly like yours, I know cause she talked about it alot.) I don't know what It was like for her after me. So, I can't say EVERY detail is there. But It still got my attention.

So, anyway, I too am facing a dating slump, where I can't seem to peak anyones interest. I'm not ugly, and I've got a odd sense of humor, but it IS a sense of humor, and a lot of people seem to enjoy it. I'm somewhat of an itellectual, although I know I still have things to pick up that I don't know sh*t about yet, but you get the idea.

In spite of all that good stuff I know I got going on, I just never seem to be anyones type. I guess I should point out that this isn't really an answer to your question. I read your question, and it kinda shocked me see almost my exact same story played out with someone else. And it made me think of her and I and it was eery, so I just wanted to say SOMEthing. I was kinda relieved to see I'm not the only one with this odd problem. That's all really. Sorry I couldn't actually help you.

[blahhhaahhhh]

Well for one, its not that you aren't dateable, its the fact that, the right guy for you hasn't found his way to you yet. I may be completely wrong, but it kind of sounds like you may be saying guys don't approach you, but do yoou try to approach guys? sometimes guys like it when you approach them first. sometimes its easier said than doen, but you really got to put yourself out there sometimes, and you might end up getting what you really want. there's got to be someone out there for you, so just keep your head up, and be strong, keep tryin. (:

[Anonymous]

oh my god. I have the same identical problem as you. =[

my guy friend told me I'm intimidating and unapproachable. I've been trying to be alone in college and more inviting, like if I see a nice guy ill smile at him and seem friendly...its been better but still single =/ sigh

[l-hedoniste]

"I hang out with mostly guys"

Be careful about this. Are you meeting new guys regularly? Do they have a chance to approach you without having to deal with your male friends? If a guy's hot for you, he'll get discouraged if you're constantly surrounded by other guys.

[Anonymous]

Hard to say from your brief description but I would say...

1. You say you're pretty, thin and intelligent. If that's accurate then a lot of guys are scared of approaching you or figure you already have a boyfriend so there's no point in trying. All you will probably get in this case is a lot of jerks/players.

2. You hang out with mostly guys. So guys are probably assuming the guy (or one of the guys) you're with is your boyfriend and there's no use in trying to approach you.

[Irrelevance]

Most likely answer is you're insecure. Guys with an ounce of common sense can smell it a mile off.

[azzzy]

wow ... I would think twice bfore approaching you ... unless you give me any hints ... guys generally are afraid of easy going girls nd sometimes too friendly

[Anonymous]

I thought I met the man of my dreams but today he Told me the reason he was not putting in the effort was because he was laid back and lazy. What does that even mean?