Lets say that aging is nullified through medical technology and once you reach the age of 30, you stop aging and the only way for your life to come to an end would be death by accident, murder or untreated sickness, or any other similar way.
Would you be able to love someone indefinitely? Do you think it's possible at all? Would you still want to marry, if you knew that the "till death do us apart" may potentially never be applied? If you still decide to stay with only one person, do you think you would inevitably make it an open relationship? Or could you remain exclusive for centuries? Would promiscuity and casual dating become the norm? Would you take part in it? (if STDs became curable and a non-issue) Lol how big would your numbers be by the year 3016 if you decided to funk it out?
Oh, anyone older than 30 just stays that age forever.
If humans could live forever, do you think monogamy would be possible?
I think absolutely not, and it has very little to do with sex. It has to do with life experiences.
I lead kind of full life when I was younger. I had a job that allowed me to travel all over the world, see all kinds of things, meet all kinds of people. At some point it started to kind of "loop", giving me the feeling that I've been there and done that, even when it was something new (it still had a strong reminiscence to things I experienced before).
What didn't feel new was dating new women. They helped me discover things and see the world from a new perspective in a way that didn't require me to travel to a place as exotic as the Amazon to see. I had a girl, for example, who opened my eyes to world of opera -- about as opposite of an interest as I personally had. I wouldn't have even appreciated it if she didn't convey what she loved about it and helped me to kind of see the world through her eyes.
Each women, in this sense, helped me to kind of appreciate things right underneath my nose.
Yet I'm married and plan to stay monogamous for the rest of my life. The reason I married, however, is because I was ready to hang my hat and retire from adventuring. I was ready to get a house, build a family, have kids.
The reason I think my wife and I can stay monogamous and not get tired of each other is because we both *age*. We get older and different phases of life start to kick in as the seasons pass, giving us a fresh outlook.
Take away the aging process and I think there will come a point where we can exhaust the things we can do with each other, being stuck indefinitely in a certain age group, and only having primarily each other through which we perceive the world. I would actually want her, at that point, to be allowed to be free of me from time to time, to go on her own adventures, and broaden her experiences.
I could imagine we could still share the same headquarters, but perhaps not always feeling the need to return to a common home. Basically I think it wouldn't work in a perfectly monogamous way due to boredom, or at least not the traditional kind of marriage and shared household and income even if the two people stayed sexually faithful to each other indefinitely.
You said you'd want her to go on her own adventures. What about sex? Would you be ok with, say, a decade long break where she has sex with multiple other men (while you do women), and then she gets back together with you?
That part somehow doesn't seem quite as important to me as the part about kind of exhausting things we can do together. Such a society might be structured very differently where two people could become very close to each other without sex. That said, I could probably live with her being with other men in such a scenario. It seems like we could still kind of come back together and still be the main ones for each other, always coming back together for a while only to go our separate ways, and then come back again and go again.
In this kind of weird universe, maybe so. I mean, I'm trying to imagine as hard as possible like 1000 years passing with just me and her with neither of us aging or really progressing so much in life.
Naturally in this lifetime, definitely not, but we have the aging and all that which makes it so a lifetime together still gives us an enormous range of experiences to have solely together.
Besides, imagine meeting a 4000-year old woman when you're single and not expecting a history that involves at least 50 dicks in that past. 50 might seem almost like a "virgin". :-D
We base our entire existences off of living around 80ish years. Half of which we are for the most part considered young and deal with things like transitions and explorations of sorts.
A big part of relationships is that everything is sorted through phases. You have the early phases of learning about sex, preferences and just what you want in a partner.
Then you have the having children phase. Raising them. Dealing with that aspect of life. Obviously not everyone has children. They either extend their first phase or get to their third phase quicker.
Then you transition into your older years. Where it's all about just finding a partner in life in general. Someone to share your life with. It's less about sex and romance and more about comfort and compatibility.
With immortality, this entire phase cycle gets thrown out the window. First off, something would have to stop or slow child bearing or the planet would be massively overpopulated relatively quickly. This alone would be put a serious dent in what we know as unconditional (family) love.
If we were all locked in at around age 30 AND have restrictions on having children, we would essentially be locked into the first phase of our relationship cycle without ever dealing with the other two. We would all get relatively bored and complacent rather quickly. We would constantly seek out new thrills and new partners because youth is no longer fleeting.
Eventually, I think we would get to a point where we would grow tired of the 'burden' of love and sex and just develop a drug or procedure that would strip us of our desire for romance of any sort.
We would replace it with the constant pursuit of knowledge and other experiences and after enough time had passed where even this wasn't getting the job done, we would kill ourselves.
Basically, we live and function the way we do precisely because our life cycles revolve around living a relatively short amount of time with our most useful years of relative youth even shorter than that. If you change this dynamic, then how we live our lives and how society functions changes completely.
If we could colonize other planets (and honestly, if we are living forever, this has to be a thing we would want to look into) then that would obviously reintroduce the actual need for repopulation although I think that would still mostly be handled through artificial insemination under pretty strict government control. I'm not exactly sure if it would actually reintroduce the normal 'family' dynamic at that point, though. At the very least, it would give us the taste of exploration that we haven't had as a species in quite a while.
My grandparents were married for over 60 years. When my gramdma died, my granpa got very lonely. He sold the house and moved into an apartment and he basically became this ghost. Every morning when one of his kids call him he tells them how this morning he was woken up by my grandma and he was really pissed because she wouldn't let him sleep before realizing she wasn't alive anymore. Throughout the day when he is alone he keeps talking to her as if she were alive and sitting in the kitchen... It's sad... My grandpa is well into his 90s now and my grandma passed away 10 years ago. It's quite obvious my grandpa misses her a lot. I think after a certain point in a person's life, that other person is like and extention of oneself. Like an arm or a leg and life without them is just... impossible to imagine. Of course not everyone feels the same but I think it's very possible to only want to be with one person.
Wow, that's actually quite the story. Never thought it could be that way. And you're right, some people really are an extension of each other. Didn't think of it like that again.
But I think it's hard to answer for all 'humans' since we are so versatile and that's the thing.. Even if I was with the one person that i'm in love with now.. he will constantly grow, change and evolve as the years go by And I will keep falling in love with his new facets Also it'll be like having a partner in crime that you go through life with.. Like best friendships.. And yeah after you've dated someone for a while.. sex eventually becomes the least important reason why you stay with them..
So yes, I think monogamy will be possible.
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Anonymous
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Monogamy is something else. If you mean people being serial monogamists, dating exclusively one person, breaking up and continuing that pattern with another person, then yes. But if you mean being with one person forever, then no. I mean, let's be realistic. People are not perfect, they break up all the time, most relationships don't work out and after a while the honey-moon period is over and they start missing the thrill of it. Imagine if we could live forever what would happen... People get bored. It's bound to happen.
I think that after 100 years, you'd start to loose the part in the fabric that makes us volitile human beings, desensitized and detached from the trials of basic evolution the newbies suffer. We would become more enlightened as a whole, and would be able to grow new crops of humans in a beneficial way, for the whole. The new age that would be considered a full grown adult would be about 75... Humans would have a longer period of time to gain enlightenment, and pass it to the younger generation as a base program. On the downside, I think the older one became the more condescending they would become to the newbies here, and would get tired of all the ignorant 13-40 year olds who thought they had an inkling of a clue about life. As far as the sex... I think that yes, some would just accept that their partners wanted some "strange" and it would be no big deal if it was mutual... But for others, with sincere bonds, they would remain loyal together through the century's, perhaps millennias as one. I think there would be a greater potential to weed out corruption in the long haul, and create a society based on peace, enlightenment, and understanding aside from human ego. I think that the lines of age would Become blurred if no one aged past 30... The older, for a time, because of their vast accumulated knowledge, could, and probably would manipulate the young to get what ever they wanted... I don't think much would change in this aspect... Some would find enlightenment, but some would weild the way of power and control. Interesting question... But as it is, humans already reproduce like rabbits... If it were not for population control measires like wars, disease, and murder, this world would not be able to support our species without some serious thought and action in how to reap from nature and cultivate it without destroying it. I would speculate that after several thousand years, once humans got used to living so long, it would Be the old folks in power, and perhaps they would be evolved enough to think of the whole with foresight into the future. Again... Interesting question, but honestly, after 100-155-200-300 years I'd start to loose my effing mind... Like it would be insane depending on if we continued to evolve or not, and like harness some magic powers in our brains.
Well for starters, that is just Not the type of "immortality" I would want or desire. Just no possibilities of death from aging? Then that meant lviing forever still comes with the regular maintenance like how we currently must eat, drink water, have oxygen and air to breathe and have shelter, etc. just in order to sustain and continue to actually keep on living and staying alive.
Instead I would prefer to be completely upgraded, evolved, enhanced, etc. with very little to ideally ZERO maintenance requirements, and largely "Invulnerable" to almost everything. Such as some attainable form or version of apotheosis, but then I'd remain neutral, I would not be an aggressor, but rather an explorer.
As for loving one person forever, I don't think I ever could or would, I prefer to have no emotional attachments at all.
Perhaps, only under the conditions that if there was only other person that also truly wants exactly the same version of immortality, invulnerability or some form of apotheosis that I would want and somehow we both had it, then we could take off and go very very far away beyond earth all just to explore the whole damn universe and outer space together all just for the sake of exploring it, since I don't think anyone ever yet had consider and tried it before.
Besides, I think that it's always good to have a witness to see and experience the things I otherwise would have experienced and see. And since neither of us would ever die, I guess I don't have to feel unhappy and worry that my "partner" would eventually be gone and vice versa, no worries of losing each other any time if at all. Otherwise I wouldn't mind having a pet that "lives forever" to explore the ENTIRE universe and outer space with me indefinitely.
As for the rest, such as marriage, promiscuity and casual dating, open relationships, etc. are irrelevant to me regardless of how they turned out to be in that hypothetical future, as they are more or less irrelevant to me currently.
To answer your question, I don't know, I would most probably get married but would see divorce as an option not an open relationship.. Ps: you realize that aging is just a fraction of the overall causes of death :), so living forever is not an option, you just eliminate one cause while increasing your chance to die on accidents and/or by incurable diseases...
If you live a long life, they are pretty much guaranteed as well :) natural disasters, accidents, killings, diseases.. The longer you live the higher the chances get.
You know this was a very interesting question. I'm going to say yeah. Maybe it wouldn't be so mainstream but I do think people would still use it, because even if we don't age in appearance we age in our mind. I think that monogamous relationships mindset is more of this person is made for me. Or at least that's how I think of it.
People are so delusional and full off it. Monogamy is mainly practiced because people don't want die alone and its easier raising kids with two parents.
@O3america well I don't think that. I just don't want a whole lot of romantic relationships honestly and truthfully. I also just can't wrap my mind around that. Like if I fall head over heels for a guy and maintain that love I wouldn't even think of these other dudes. I know that, this would be hard but hey that's life right.
This is the thing everyone is definitely different. You would get all sides of your question. Why? IT'S HAPPENING TODAY! Some people think 4 years is a lifetime in their heads, and other people worst. And then there's the actual devout people. They actually mean it. And if you question their "devoutness" then you don't and probably won't ever understand how they could truly love and want someone forever. It's or of your scope. At the same time... why sleep with so many other people? Eventually sex will turn out to be just that sex, now love. Come on you're talking about love, love is sex and more, it's a word with sex as a period in a whole novel. When you find the right book, you'll always be attach to it, and never get bored. Same with a movie, or a song. For monogomy you just have to have the right other person, or devotion to staying with them. How devoted are you?
I would say I would be pretty devout to my girlfriend/wife. But objectively speaking, I just think it naive to believe that I could be with the same exact person for, not years, not decades but centuries if not milenia. There is the chance that the feelings would eventually fade, as you can no longer experience new things with the person you love. Eventually you'll just grow to tolerate them by the time you're 300 hears old.
The same way some books, movies and songs that used to be favourite, are now forgotten if not outright disliked because you over-watched, re read and re listened them multiple times by now.
Ok if you live forever what is so special about that. Think of you life like a limited edition baseball card or something then think of all the ones continually printed. If the card is always around life isn't as special if its forever. Its more like a life sentence to inevitiably growing weary in mind and killing yourself. If you are limited edition (as in, at some point your life will end) then life will seem more like a "gift" for some people ratner than a life where you're sentenced to being you forever. Shorter life spans dont make people special but they make the illusion your life actually is special, more believable.
Lots of questions there, I would keep it there as an option, you see some couples happy together after 50/60 years. The vows are really a matter of choice like marriage itself. Open/Casual relationships increase, possibly. Do I want to live forever aged 30, honestly I don't know, part of the appeal is that it is a one time thing, your life, I have a slight fear of getting incredibly bored - Would you have to work forever, pay bills, how do kids fit in? - On the sci-fi/realistic side of it, over population must become an issue, do we have to have culls at 200 years old.
Of course it would. The challenge in living forever would be constantly finding new challenges in life to overcome. You would become bored and even frustrated with life if everything was the same. New sex partners would not be a solution to that. Sure, a new sex partner would provide a new rush, kind of like getting a new car, but within a short time you'd return back to the dull monotony of having nothing to do again and it wouldn't matter who you were having sex with.
This is the same problem people make in relationships even without living forever. They run out of things to do because they never set any goals for themselves. Sure, having someone to have sex with is great, but what's even better is having someone to share life with. Do you want to raise a family? Start a business? Travel the world? Whatever it is you want to do, you do it together with your partner. You and your partner go out and experience life together, but you don't become each other's lives.
You'd still be YOU. It's like futuristic therapy, Again Either Way I do believe in love. Hell if you are okay with it have an open marriage. Some very good family friends have a VERY happy relationship and are in an open marriage
I'd stay a 100 years with one guy.. and then we'd say goodbyes.. and begin dating again to find someone for the next hundred years.. there can be a lot of casual dating too.. 😁😂
Hahaha 😂😂 you can say that.. I might not be able to get what people in relationship are saying.. that they CAN live with one person forever.. It doesn't seem realistic to me.. okay you love someone.. and you spend a good 70-80 years together!!! That's such a long time.. and even if they do stay together.. there would be too much monotony.. same routine again and again.. they still might love each other.. (I would love the person I spent so much time with as well) but that doesn't mean you'll still have an exciting life going on. It'll be just meh.. everyday
It may be possible for some, but I honestly don't think that I'd WANT to be monogamous if I could live forever. I'd probably want one constant partner, but I think that I'd want us both to be with other people whenever we felt the need /desire to.
It is romantic to think that you will love someone forever but.. eh well I admit, I think it would be hard for me to love the same person for hundreds of years. It would be so boring... Tho maybe I would stay monogamous if he was so interesting for me that I would love to explore new things about him till the death.
Then I'd live him before I fall out of love, in that case I'd miss him again after a while. I've done it before when I noticed that my love towards him faded. Or maybe I'd end up with 100th partner when I was 1000 years old. Good question :)
NO! Holy shit. But if you're really that curious, the only proper way to watch it (in my opinion, anyway) is with a couple of robots and a guy floating around in space. Go to youtube and type: "mst3k manos" into the search bar and you should be able to watch it with some decent commentary from the Rifftrax guys. I'd link you, but the site says I can't post urls whenever I try.
Whats the difference between fifty years and a hundred? The fact is those who manage to get past the down point in marriage (usually between 5 to 10 years in, usually around when they have children) report havign higher levels of happiness then they did before the down point ie higher levels of happiness compared to the very begining of the marriage. So yes. Its a mental thing not physiological.
Can you love your child forever? As I said whats the difference? So yes. Do I think every one could? well no, a marriage takes communication and dedication to each other so if they don't have that then they won't last past the 5-10 year mark let alone a millenia.
@O3america How so? Your children leave before the spouse does. I mean obviously their is a difference but I don't hink the sexual aspect is a relevent difference. The fact is that is the only thing any one really can argue about ie not being able to have sex with whomever they want. However if you have managed to adapt, as statistics shows happens if you stay within the relationship long enough (thanks to neural plasticity) then that becomes a nonissue.
The scenario is not possible because the universe itself would end... there is no forever.
However, monogamy, sure that can survive. That's easy because once you've lived a few decades you realuze that the last thing you want in life is the hassle and drama of multiple women.
y'all are so funny. Just the thought of monogamy is SICK. No one specie on Earth isn't monogamous. It's against nature. I'm not saying cheating is OK. But I think "open relationship" is much better way. I keep seeing here on GAG people asking our sex life is down, what to do, blablabla. I'm saying open relationship is the answer.
I didn't say it makes me sick. I said the thought is sick. I never met any couple whose relationship is without cheating. Even my grandparents were together 60 years and they were cheating on each other. I believe in true love. I just don't believe it can lasts forever.
If I love someone, it doesn't mean I'm not looking in another girls. Because I love her, I want give her as much enjoyment as possible. And the same way it's working from her side. But me and her, we're soul mates. We can have sex with anyone, but we love and support each other. We would die for each other.
Most couples, even those who've been married all their lives, they've all cheated once or twice. It's an ugly truth.
So... to assume an infinite life... sure you could have a monogamous relationship but being in one that never falters, that would fit in some sort of mathematical infinite improbability equation of which I have no knowledge.
Think about it, after you've done all that you can or could do, with there being no possibility of anything new to do or create, people would be driven insane or the boredom would be so great it would drain the fun, the challenge out of life.
I completely agree. That's why I don't understand how, in the case of this particular question, people can be so sure that they'd be together with someone forever.
I agree to some extent, the only exciting thing would be new technology and the potential chance to explore other solar systems beyond the earth. But after long enough I'm sure even that would get boring.
I'd say 1000 years might be long enough to hold my interest, think about how crazy the technological advances would be after 1000 years, it would just be cool to see what kind of things that are possible. But longer than that, ehhh
We would need a COMPLETELY different approach to reproduction if we did live forever. I wonder if that would have an effect on monogamy itself. Would you have 1 child per generation? Or all of your children up front, and then never have kids again? The dynamics of those two alone could end with a multitude of possibilities. Do you move on from your spouse once your one kid is 30, and do you take another spouse to raise another child with? Do you have all your kids reach 30, then monogamy ends?
For some, yes. That could make the relationship even more beautiful. :-)
For those who reject monogamy in this eternal scenario my guess would be that they're probably incapable of it regardless of how long they live. If you don't appreciate the concept and have accepted it only as the de-facto option among limited choice who would want to be with you anyway?
But what if one were to accept and abide by it at first, but having only one such person in life after multitudes of decades could eventually become tiresome. It is not something you can forsee with absolute certainty.
Pretty much nothing. You consume resources from this planet until you die. There hasn't been anything new aside from the unknown variable of how the universe began, Nihilistic as hell eh? @LaFemmeFatale
".. take... as your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part"
time to live up to that promise o' married ones! :)
Yep, would be definitely impossible. its bad enough with the decades plus of seeing and being with the same person... many would just take the easy way out if monogamy was forced lol.
Yea. I think a lot of timea people settle with someone who they get along with just so they dont die alone. Id have to search longer and be a hundred times more pickier with who i settle down with.
It's a romantic idea but I think it would inevitably become and open relationship EVENTUALLY
although on the other hand if you're in a relationship for that long you may get so used to eat that you lose the desire for anything else.. So maybe...
Also a possibility. The craving for something else may not be guaranteed. Maybe it is as you say that people would get used to it and lose the desire for variety.
of course you could still have only one partner at a time xD that´s what monogamy means. you can still break up with them and look for another one. that´s how it is now, so nothing will change.
It doesn't sound possible so much even under current circumstances let alone eternity. I hope it was though. If its possible now , i think it would be possible then.
Again my boyfriend is just that fucking hot and awesome. Plus being in a LDR for 4 years now, you know what it feels like to go a long ass time without being able to physically see them and touch them. So leaving at any point you would remember what it's like without them and compared to all the dues I have dated in the past. No man has ever been as awesome as him nor someone I can trust. Why would I ever want to give that all up and get to losers that wouldn't give a shit about me and I wouldn't feel comfortable with them? I would have to be the most stupid idiot on the planet to do that.
Even if humans could live forever, the sun is going to go out in 5 billion years. Not sure if humans will be able to survive that or not since things could still kill you in this scenario. Then you also have when our galaxy and andromeda will collide. We also don't know what will happen to humans after that if we were still around that time.
@O3america I'm horrible at giving details but I'll try. If it's on the internet he can find anything majority of the time, he's a cocky son of a bitch but in a good way, he's hilarious, doesn't care what people think about him, he likes dark sick humor, he's bluntly honest, he's really good with computers, the rest is just how I interact with him.
I have dated 12 guys before him and none of them were as awesome as he is.
@O3america Thanks to how he's black and white about most things, it makes it easier to trust him. Along with the bluntness since you know they would never bullshit you.
This will undoubtedly be possible within the next 70 to 300 years. That said, death by misadventure would probably limit our lifespan to 1000 to 2000 years.
Although I wouldn't say that pessimistic, more like realistic.
You may be able to last a few decades but I think eventually you'd grow tired of eahother.
Also instinctively I don't believe we are 100% monogamous. More likely serial monogamous where its natural tondesire a new partner after the children have reached an age where they could fend for themselves. Supposedly thats a driver for the "10 year itch" people start to experience in marriagw.
I will say, while I'm a hopeless romantic and would like to feel the same way, another part of me is saying that after some time... things would probably end. I only say this because people change over time. in the span of just a few years you could be a completely different person.. what about a century? I don't know I would LIKE to think yes, but its just that one part that is saying.. nope..
Not in this lifetime. NOT even if we were immortal. First, I don't share and have NEVER shared my partners. Nor will I allow myself to be shared.
Let me be clear, I want a 'dom'. Don't get this confused with a man who does whatever he wants sexually, or a man who just liked rough sex, or the sterotypical one where a dominant (NOT a dom) has multiple subs.
I mean, a man who not only has physical, but mental/emotional control over me. Takes the time to condition me, my body, to react to everything he says and does.
It takes time to build that trust, that level of control, but the connection is intense. The 2 men who have taken time to build this with me, were 'dom'.
They'd send something as simple as "I'm turned on" or a keyword/phrase [[which I won't say, because I'm still conditioned to be aroused by hearing/seeing them]].
Allowing a man to have such a HUGE amount of control over me. It takes a SERIOUS amount of trust, and that takes time to build.
** Taking the time, energy, and the emotions to do all of that, why in the hell would I want more than one person? Why would my partner? I should meet all of their needs **
You're 23 and you had thousands of conflicts with your family alone. If this were your boyfriend we were talking about, by the time you'd reach a thousand, you would have had more than 50k conflicts.
so conflicts to u means break up? that's a recipe for a short relationship. unless it involves cheating, i'd work on it until one person gives up. and tht's not gonna b me 8 times out of 10.
I have no idea, to be honest. I'm a monogamous person myself but I think it would be naive of me to think I could be with the same woman for eternity. Anyhing could happen.
I don't have to anticipate failure to know that it is, statistically speaking, pretty much guaranteed to happen if I have practically infinite amounts of time.
Anything is possible, but in this scenario it just isn't practical. In my mind one of the best products of monogamy besides children, is building a bond with another person. It's amazing what two people can achieve when they have this connection and work together. That all goes out the window when time becomes infinite. Eternity gives you the opportunity to establish this bond with everyone on the planet, even the ones u wouldn't give the time of day. With an infinite amount of time why wouldn't you want to create new experiences. When people are lying on their death beds. They say I regret the things I didn't do. I don't understand how possibly everyone in the world would agree that variety is the spice. With almost anything but not people, people are the best and most interesting objects on the planet.
Call it a gut feeling? And statistics. There are so many people in the world and with infinite life we'll just keep on growing in numbers. It's only reasonable to assume that at least SOME of them would prefer monogamy.
Metaphyisical/spiritual concepts: I know twin flames is an angelic concept. Angels (and demons) in particular have a male and female aspect to their being (like Baphomet), they have a good twin/bad twin thing going on as it's part of their nature. It is said that an demon is only an angel in reverse. SO if they can live with their other flame for eternity than humans wouldn't be any different. Humans were said to be originally androgynous and then we were split apart.
The bible has many verses indicating this. Let us consider satan. Satan desired god's place and rebelled... and he was a only an angel, a son of God... he also took other angels with him. Now, think of all the other known "gods"... how much worse could things be if they existed?
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