Do you believe humans were meant to be monogamous? Why or why not?

[HawkPerception]

Monogamous

Polygamous

[DaisyM23]

i mean for most of human history it's been a matter of survival which meant you reproduced with multiple women to populate your society - monogamy in the west only came with christianity and the need to preserve bloodlines although illegitimate children and multiple wives and mistresses were common - plus polygamy in asia, africa and the americas... it's accepted and limited in islam, polygamy was common in basically every Asian monarchy (multiple wives, harems etc) and in African tribes - it wasn't necessarily seen as cheating if it was very normalised and common and just a part of everyday life - and of course polygamy as a whole has been accepted as one man and multiple women not one woman with multiple men as the male lineage is what was considered important - the concept of love was only materialised in what, the 18th century, with romanticism? marriage was to do with carrying on bloodlines and preserving it, in helping with work, for money, for alliances, LOVE on its own was never a priority, people would be lucky if they even LIKED their partners so there was no real use for monogamy - plus in other animals, polygamous practices are more common than monogamous, i wonder why it shifted and changed in humans (i guess if some mass disaster happened, there'd be more need for polygamy...)

[ApplePie409]

Great question, but with all due respect, the average person on this site doesn't have a clue who the vice president is. The scientific answer is, NO. The warm and fuzzy answer is, Yes. I read a fascinating anthropological study of why women hold all the cards in regards to sex. This began a million years ago. Without going into details, women hold the cards, because men handed them the deck. Men handed women the deck, and then wonder why women are holding the cards. Have you ever heard of "Lady's Night" at bars? How did this even become a thing? This happened a million years ago.

[shoeboxcerealcard]

I disagree, humans are meant to be whatever they choose. The problem is, most people don't choose. If you don't choose, instinct will choose for you. That is why you believe humans are meant to be poly because 99% of the population doesn't understand how to choose the life they want. If we didn't have the ability to choose then you would be right but we do have that ability. We're not like the other animals who don't have this ability.

If someone is poly or cheating and they don't want to, it is because they don't actually know how to use this ability we all have. If you don't use it, you're subject to your base instinct like the other animals. It's why people are rarely successful and rarely go after what they really want. Success is not instinctual. Survival is.

[HawkPerception]

@shoeboxrealcard Are you poly yourself? You sound to hold people that are poly in high regard

[ApplePie409]

@shoeboxcerealcard

Don't shoot the messenger. Take your personal emotions out of it. This is a scientific question. There are over one million different animals on Earth, and only about 3% are monogamous. This wasn't my idea, it's just the way it is. 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce. That's a pretty dismal percentage.

[DrPepper12]

Historian here. The evidence is in from all sciences and it's not debatable. Polygamy is our default. Monogamy is a recent social construct since we invented agriculture and men wanted to make sure they passed their now fixed assets to legitimate heirs. When we were nomadic there was no need for knowing lineage and moreover, it was better that the group didn't know for sure so it would guarantee help & resources for all offspring. Monogamy is a lie.

[RebelinSteel]

It’s a social standard, a lot of pre Roman societies were poly, the romans and the early church started enforcing mono. Society changed to allow mono to be the most preferred method or rather the Christian society pushed it. If there was no social requirement, you would likely have a mix along the lines of Celtic society and some would be mono and some poly.

[sawno]

The answer is obvious to me, it's both. Especially for men both are valid strategies, and it depends a lot on the social norms and culture to. Imagine a culture where men fuck girls but don't stay with them, that doesn't necessarily have to be a disaster if this same culture has the habit that all men collectively support the children of the women. You could raise society as a society.

Monogamy lends itself more to individual parenting styles, and it's personally my preferred one. Including sexually, I value a very deep strong connection over fucking a lot of girls.

[NamerOfStars]

Being polygamous only works if we're far more communal than we actually are. Human babies require an enormous amount of attention for a ludicrous length of time. And it's a HARD requirement; a baby chimp would be easy prey for many, many creatures, but they can at least MOVE and find food on their own. Humans? Not a chance.

[DrPepper12]

Excellent answer! 🎯💯👊🏻

[Sonorous]

I do think someone could say that we humans prefer to at least be serially monogamous. But stable & highly productive societies require more strict monogamous standards. Standards that we could generally hold ourselves to well enough on paper at least. Cheating will still be more rampant than it will be reported to be. Just comes with our nature. So I believe we aren't meant to be anything specifically. I like to think we're kinda free in what we prefer. Adaptable creatures.

[dustybiker2]

It's hard to generalize. Humans are designed to be higher intelligence. With higher intelligence comes higher chances of mental illness and instability. With those comes defense of actions, yada yada..

Put all that aside and you do see both genders who are happy to be with one person for the rest of their lives, at the least one at a time.

You can't define humans past the most basic shapes anymore. There are too many of us.

[FreyaRed]

Human offspring need very long time of care until they become mature. Usually animals with offspring which need long period of care like whales are mostly monogamous or a group of small herd with one mature alpha male. Polygamy like among bonobos is rather rare in nature

[itsclearlynicholas]

Often I think not. However STIs/STDs, and HIV HPV, now those things make the balance shift more back to monogamy. Yet the number of eggs and number of sperm that humans have each to their respective bodies, sure is greater volume as they say, so suggests people just "pump and dump" lol 😂😆

[BCRanger10]

Humans are better off being monogamous. It makes for more stable families and environments.

[NathanDavis]

we are what we are... and also what we want it to be... both to the individual level as well as the social one

if we are meant to be something, that is to be humans with choice

[normalice]

We were "meant" nothing as that would suggest a creator with a plan to "mean" it, and I've seen no evidence that that is the case.

[slatyb]

They aren't meant to be anything. "Meant to" implies that something was created for some purpose. We weren't created, we evolved.

[Dargil]

Culturally monogamous. Biologically, harems. It was the necessary reproductive strategy back on the early hominid stage. Like gorillas now.

[Cheapskate]

Those pale ass skinny hipsters in that picture make me want to be asexual.

[boobliker]

it is nice to think we only need one partner but we do need variety in our sex lives and other things

[OtterMan68]

monogamy has been the norm for most of human history

[DrPepper12]

Sedentary or nomadic human history? We were nomadic AND polygamous until about 15&20K years ago

[OtterMan68]

@DrPepper12 what proof is there of polygamy prior to recorded history

[DrPepper12]

Genetic alleles, "junk DNA", hereditary conditions and female mitochondria for starters. The multiple human species cross breeding. Archeological evidence, creation myths, seasonal migration patterns influencing demographics. Take your pick.

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

Yes because of STDs lol. To be fair they were created for a reason.

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

Oh yeah and does having a bunch of bastards everywhere sound like a good idea?

[Kingofkings1992]

there’s not something that we were meant to be. Just do whatever works for you personally

[Billlewis]

Monogamous for men, poly for women.

[ALLURING24]

I have no idea. But it is really a good question

[wiltingrosepetal]

Yeah, I'll say so