Badly explain your profession?

[Anonymous]

This has been an online trend recently, but I haven't seen it here yet. In case you don't know how it works exactly - you explain your profession in a bad way.

Example: I cook for a living so my explanation would be - I take dead plants and animals and burn them

Your turn?

[Izumiblu]

My job is to pretend to be an engineer, act like i know what im talking about even when i have no idea and make sure that that dinner plans are properly coordinated.

[JenSCDC]

I get excited by people dying.

(I'm a life insurance actuary who spends a lot of her time studying what the industry euphemistically calls "experience".)

[crazy_eyes]

I lie to people and pretend I'm someone I'm not. I'm an amateur actress, in case you were wondering.

[Anonymous]

I arrange zeros and ones into patterns that most people could never comprehend. But it turns out that these patterns make their computers and phones useful.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

App/Software engineer or hacker extraordinaire?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes!

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Cool job

[dogbert444]

I'm studying electric heating. The fact that these heaters are also adding machines that do calculations is purely a by-product.

[dogbert444]

Thanks for MHG!

[El_Muffidore]

I walk all day collecting your stupid steel on wheels filled with purses, canes, diapers, condoms and the occasional feminine hygiene product. I fucking love my job

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Shopping cart jockey?

[El_Muffidore]

Yeah, that or cart monkey

[sassygirl13]

I give toxins for people hoping they won't die of them

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Cancer treatment?

[sassygirl13]

all medications really

[SuccessfulHornDog]

nurse or pharmacy?

[sassygirl13]

clinical pharmacist

[SuccessfulHornDog]

That's a good job, congratulations

[sassygirl13]

thankx :)

[WhiteSteve]

I oversee millions of dollars in annual sales of foods and beverages I wouldn't put into my own body mostly to a demographic other than my own👿

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Bar and restaurant supplier?

[WhiteSteve]

@SuccessfulHornDog Grocery retail supply, Hispanic and Caribbean foods. Sodas and fruit drinks that are loaded with sugar, and look at the side of a can of corned beef sometime, jfc, I can't believe one serving doesn't kill you, haha.

[HappypersonT]

I go to a holding facility for hours on end to multiple fluorescent-lit rooms with others of my kind, suffering slowly.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Student?

[HappypersonT]

@SuccessfulHornDog Yep good job

[Razzle-Bedazzle]

I give some people pleasure , but to others pain 😜

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Massage therapist?

[Razzle-Bedazzle]

@SuccessfulHornDog

Beauty Therapist haha

I give them pleasure with massages or other treatments, but pain when they want waxing treatments or epilation 😂😜

[guy532]

I spend the large majority of my day learning about the different ways that people die

[Bleh-___-]

Do you have to guess these lol
I pretend to be someone I'm not to sell stuff

[WaterRat]

I make horrible or boring things look important and pretty.

[Littlett25]

I tell you where to plant your ass when you go out to eat

[NerdInDenial]

I go out on trips on a ship, and I tell people what to do.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Admiral Nerd or Nerd Admiral?

[NerdInDenial]

@SuccessfulHornDog You give me too much credit; I'm just a lowly Lieutenant.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

That's higher than the rest of us

[Lucifer_666]

I talk to random people over the phone and help them understand each other :D Probably no one will understand what I do

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Some sort of Satanic interpreter

[JSmuve]

I sit on my ass and stare menacingly at people as they walk by.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Psychotic security guard?

[ZellRocx666]

I live by studying so my def would be--
I look at words and write them

[Anonymous]

I put bullets on people who do bad, while wearing a uniform, a body armour, and a balaclava.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Nice !

[thecarrera]

I play with lives and drink coffee.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Game designer?

[thecarrera]

😂😂😂 Yeah, Technical Artist! 👌

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Love gaming!

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

I use PowerPoint to take your money.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Office monkey in a financial/insurance company

[RJGraveyTrain]

I'm an office bitch.

[SnowHearth]

I help people achieve deadness

[John_Doesnt]

I make the blinky thing your using work.

[cupidkisses]

I brainwash