Why are women so obsessed with their careers?

[archer86]

We've seen this just way too often in the past twenty-five years or so. A young woman has a goal in her life: sports, job, education and so on. Seems like each one of them fear the idea of dating because they think men will control them, change their goals or distract them. The result is that many of these women will not date at all. None. Whether or not they hate men is not the issue, they just avoid men at all costs. By the time they do gain fame and fortune, they still don't want to date and if they do, a man better be perfect. Immortality isn't good enough.

This is completely different for men. I was in college with a full load of credits, working a job, playing varsity sports and STILL found the time and the desire to chase the women(not saying I was successful though).

Please elaborate on this

[toulouse]

lol hey.. mm well I don't know if I can help illuminate anything for you, but I can share my experience :) I've basically been against dating since I was about 6- that's when I decided anyways. At that time I had a far more narrow view on what I thought the implications of romantic involvement were, & I do not fully hold to the same views now- they went as follows. :



#1. Only lazy people get int relationships because you sacrifice time of productivity to compromise with others, & the only way you could actually be hard working and deserve to be in a see a relationship is if you were really too busy to see each other. #2. Only weak people get into relationships. Because of course if you are strong you dot need anyone else. #3. Only people who don't love each other get married. if you really love each other you don't need legal proof and the legal aspect is fir money power status or some other sort of deal. #4. If you love someone you live with them up until the time you or they interfere with your or their work at which point you must part or you can or live up to your full potential #5 Is rather vague and more intuitive then conclusive, but it is the one I still agree with, the others may not be very reasonable. #5. I was/ am not not permitted to date/ really tbh even liking someone makes me feel guilty, until I had proved sufficient competency and obvious accomplishment in w/e it was I was/ am engaged in at w/e time it is I start to think about a relationship.

So whether it be school ,career, work, research , travel, acting , writing, I had to be working , producing& focused at a level satisfactory to me, with a firm idea of what direction I was headed in ,before I would allow myself to contemplate being with someone at all . ( I've not reached that point yet - I'm only 19 and have barely begun school :)

Nothing at all to do with being against men- id ay 95% of my friends are guys &even if I wanted to date I don't like the idea of being in a relationship just yet. There is a certain comfort zone of focus I get into, and while becoming close with someone, and having them as part of your life can be beneficial and def intriguing- for better or for worse, it is disruptive. For me the issue is that I will spend time in or for the relationship,rather than exploring life and discovering things of myself and how in what way I can make a contribution to society during my life time.

I'm young right now and this is when I lay down the foundation for the rest of my life,& I'm taking it seriously and no reason guys can't wait a few years. Relationships dating etc have never been a central part of my life, and for the most part not even natural one. I'm very friendly and have lots of friends and I can retreat when I need to- without feeling guilty- it seems to work well its a good balance for me & of course, its not a guy issue. If I was a lesbian it'd be the same thing. It's physical and emotional time and fluctuations I avoid not the male of the species :)

[CatherineTheSoSo]

Because when sh*t hits the fan it is the woman who is stuck with stench of fecal matter; this is especially true if kids are involved (YES THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS.)

If you marry early before your career starts and twelve years down the line you're divorced and with three kids...then you're SOL.

If you marry mid-career and give it up to have a family, then twelve years later he divorces you and leaves you with the three kids...then you're SOL.

If you've established a strong career and then find a husband then maybe, even if he does dump you 12 years later, you still have enough work experience to get back up...You're not /as/ SOL.

Maternity leaves is a killer in the career market; if you're married then the chances of you getting maternity leave is even higher. If you have children...Well, mothers are expected in PTAs far more than husbands.

So even in this modernist/feminist world some women found themselves donning on two hats: career-women /and/ mothers. Some can manage, some eventually decide to just pick one...

[avella_Dec]

on the flip side, I am quite capable of taking care of myself and/or being in a relationship, but it also seems if a woman is capable and intelligent, men don't want to be in relationships with them. they want the uneducated, hot, and obedient. That is simply just two different kinds of women there.

[archer86]

Seems like there are more than two kinds of women in the world. Just look at all the young women I see in college every day. I see all types. It is quite regrettable that NONE of them are old enough for me! (sob) HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[avella_Dec]

yes, that was just a generalization. I realize the world is quite a bit more complex... trust me though, hot isn't always all that. But to each his/her own, right?

[kidaphon]

It's not so much obsession with their careers mate, it's more the fact that modern society these days allows women to propel themselves into more successful positions in society. If you rewind a few decades, back before feminism became an issue that women burned bras about, the majority of women would have been living under rather invisible oppression which limited the things that they had to pursue. This would then naturally leave them with a lot of spare time - time which they probably used to socialise.

There are varying degrees of independence with women these days, but the hardcore variety are usually not interested in men at all because they see men as a hindrance to their pursuit in life. Either way, you should not be worried that women aren't behaving like they used to. Most women would still bear some semblance of maternal instincts which passively compels them to seek a mate and start a family - this is something which fortunately does not happen for guys, unless you are happy to be enslaved by a woman and have your liberty shaped to her liking for the rest of your life.

[toulouse]

" Most women would still bear some semblance of maternal instincts which passively compels them to seek a mate and start a family - this is something which fortunately does not happen for guys, unless you are happy to be enslaved by a woman and have your liberty shaped to her liking for the rest of your life."

-- Uhh lol If it only happens to women, as you say, how do they find guys to do the family thing with them?

[Universe]

I'm exactly that way.

And it's because I've heard many horror stories of women just like me getting into bad relationships which distracts them from their path--the fear is real. Now obviously some have gotten with good men but it just seems easier not to take the risk.

My parents are definitely a big factor. They are the type to emphasize getting a job and going into a good career so that we can all live on our own and not depend on anyone else for the rest of our lives. But it's not just for me and my sister it's also my brothers who also aren't dating until they've completely finished school...so it's not "completely different" for all men.

Right now I'm perfectly content being single. I don't see why it's so horrible that I'm not dating anyone. It's just a different path I've chosen and I'm not trying to hurt anyone this way. And if I never end up being with anyone is that really that bad of a thing?

[shades777]

then wait till your barely desirable to settle down, ha

[brunettebelle]

Because we can have sophisticated jobs and don't have to be pressured to get married, have babies, and clean your f***ing house. We are embracing it, there are men who are stay at home dads.