Girl I like invited me to Thanksgiving dinner with her family...

Well thanksgiving's coming up and this girl I like invited me to have dinner with her family. It'll be me, her, her mom, along with her older sister and boyfriend. I'm not seeing my family so I figured why not. Thing is I don't know if should stick with it or cancel (she asked me yesterday)

She was like ''normally I'd do this with john-her ex-but I'm not gonna do that now and I don't know who else that'd go''.

We are however just good friends (unlike how her and her ex started). I figured it'd be a good chance to make a good impression and be better than her ex--but now I'm thinking its not such a good idea--since I want her to see me as more than a friend--not just a fill-in, yknow. She keeps saying 'if you want' when its brought up about me going, so its like on me if I go--although I know she wants company to go w/. Plus she and her fam are vegetarians and I'm not--so I'm really puttin myself out there on this one if I go.

I guess I need insight from both sides. Would going hurt or help my situation? I know her well enough to say there's maybe some interest but not enough to see me as more right now--shes pretty used to me--but always blows me up when I start distancing myself or opting to hang with other people or chicks rather than her and seems to show that interest again--which is pretty much why she invited me to this thing.

Or should I cancel with some excuse. Help:/


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hm, well. First off, canceling with some excuse is lame. If she's known you long enough she'll see right through it and it won't help you at all. That being said, I don't think going is going to help you in the way you are hoping it will. I don't know how long ago mr. ex left the picture but she certainly doesn't seem over it...which makes you rebound cuddle buddy if you try anything at this point. If it's a mixed bag for you and you are that confused I'd say get the dirty laundry out in the open. Tell her that you'd like to go but it seems like she's not really that interested in you coming and that you feel more like a seat warmer than an actual friend being invited over. She is acting wishy washy which usually means one of three things. Either she's interested but too confused and or hurt right now to put herself out there or she's a flake who is stringing you along or my personal favorite...she isn't really interested but she has no clue she's sending you mixed signals. That happens more often than you might think.

    • Well her ex (of like 3 and half months I wanna say) or what her motives for inviting me are--intentional or unintentional--arent really my concerns. just the situation at hand. Should I take a chance (her parents have already dubbed me an honorary member of the fam for the night) or just flake and give her an excuse (nothing lame, just something that lets her know--sorry but it seems a little unecessary for me to go

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Be honest...the truth is always the right path. Tell her you will think about it because you don't want to be anyones replacement and your not sure why she's asking you, and make sure you add that she may not be consious about it, but your not a vegetarian so if you do attend to that dinner, its because of her. period.

  • you never know, she might like you that's why she's asking you.

    if you cancel on her, you will be sending a signal that you don't like her.

    then that may ruin the chances of you proving to her you like her.

    then you guys will never date...

    I say just go on the Thanksgiving date to show her you like her and to be nice to her as a friend.

    besides you said you weren't going to be with your family.

    • Yea that's definitely on my mind. I figure if I want her to possibly see me as more, I might just have to take a chance do something like this to really make her see my potential. This may be the kick I need, but its always in the back of my mind that if I go--she'll just see me as that dependable friend type. I appreciate what you said tho, very true

What Guys Said 2

  • The way I see it, free food. Probably cold, sh*tty food, unless her family is comprised of expert-level Vegitarian chefs. But it's still free.

    If you see yourseldf slipping into the Friend Zone, going to this dinner isn't helping your chances with her. But canceling is definitely going to hurt your chances. So you're kind of stuck. You have to go.

    You may just want to get a feel for what you might be to her before you go acting out after dinner. Nonetheless, don't use tomorrow to dig yourself a bigger hole and don't portray yourself as someone who only has platonic intentions withthis girl. Say her mom asks you if you're seeing anyone, joke about seeing her daughter. Stuff like that.

    Godspeed, John Glen.

  • If you really like her, this could be a good chance to express your feelings after dinner or so.. and a good chance to score points with her family.