Why are men harshly punished for being feminine when women aren't for being manly?

[Legendary_Shark]

I'm by no means saying that men should be appreciated for having highly feminine traits or that women should be punished for being manly (in fact that's already been happening since always, tomboys are often looked down upon) but not as much as it's in case men, men who show a bit of feminine (not actually feminine but alleged feminine traits like emotional sensitivity etc) are harshly punished by society, belittled & looked down upon... Why are these two similar things handled differently by society?

[dantetheexplorer]

That's easy.
Because women are still seen as "less than" men. You can think of "less than" as weaker, inferior, socially below, etc. The thinking behind that is: "why would a man act or behave or dress in a manner of a woman (the weaker/inferior/socially below sex)?" whereas the corollary to THAT: "Of course women want to act or behave or dress like men - who wouldn't want to be like the stronger/superior/socially above sex)."

There's even a song with the lyrics "Why can't a woman be more like a man?"

[N192K001]

Across cultures, women are generally valued for what they are and their intrinsic properties/nature/capacity (i. e. birthing the next generation). Men are valued by what they do.

Hence, a woman being a woman and even doing thing associated with men is okay, even praiseworthy. Meanwhile, men failing to do apparently men's things for women's, while unable to generate life fails as both a man and a woman, and is hence doubly despised.

This is what I've gathered on the matter so far.

[Gotcha_Writer10]

Who do you hang around with hun? Most girls would love a guy more emotionally adaptable with themself. And depending on what you mean by emotionally feminine, we actually appreciate it. And girls get just enough hate when we act to masculine too, heck my sister joined the varsity boy wrestling team and was the only girl, and got a lot of flack for it by other schools. But her team loved it lol it's really who you associate yourself with that make the difference.

[Legendary_Shark]

I'm talking based on my general experience, especially on this app, how so many dude keep on advising the other 'to be a man', coming to the 'emotional', that's another thing I've seen on here, especially from opinions by men how they've always mentioned "women are emotional, emotions are more of woman's thing, being emotional is being feminine, whatever) If you read the description, I've clearly mentioned that emotions are "allegedly" feminine, it's not my view to see them as feminine, also I've clearly mentioned that masculine females are punished too but that's nothing like what men face for being feminine (or allegedly feminine?)

[Gotcha_Writer10]

Oops read it wrong lol my bad... though I wouldn't say men have it worse than we do will being judged in that concern. I'd say the whole lot have a shit list in store for going against the long written rule of our roles in this world. As historic as they may be. And I don't really see people judging that harshly rather than the occasional fossil hating on a person. But then again, people should also take in consideration not to give to flying figs what people think of them.

[Ellie-V]

Guys bully each other the most on this particular thing. For reasons I have no idea why. But I think they hate seeing each other “immaculated” mainly because they don’t understand and also because a lot of guys see everything black n white as if every guy is only supposed to be one way.

[SngBirdy]

Yeah this is true. Girls are just unattracted to feminine men, but guys actually mock and humiliate them for being like that.
Even though i dont do that, i have to admit i have less respect for feminine men too. I dont treat them badly and i dont think much of them, but i definetely dont see them the same way as a confident, masculine man.

[Legendary_Shark]

What you tryna say Ellie?

[Ellie-V]

@SngBirdy I’ve seen girly dudes with plenty more confidence in themselves than their basic counterparts.

[Ellie-V]

Miss Legendary, I’m tryna say people should feel free to be themselves without getting bullied for it. People can have opinions and objections but the nasty ridicule and slander is just not okay.

[SngBirdy]

"I’ve seen girly dudes with plenty more confidence in themselves than their basic counterparts." doesn't matter for us guys. We'll still have less respect for them

[Ellie-V]

@SngBirdy that’s fine. Just don’t bully them

[englisc]

It's because weakness in men has never been respected. Throughout history men have been expected to be strong, they had to be in order to be useful, and we still have the same programming we had thousands of years ago when we lived in small tribal groups. This is where gender roles come from, they aren't just recent social constructs. They're biologically ingrained.

When you look at it from that perspective, everything was about survival and replication. In order for a tribe to survive you need enough women to have and raise children, and strong men to provide for them whatever they needed and to protect them from rival tribes.

Where women got their value from was in their ability to reproduce. All they had to do was survive until sexual maturity and have children. They were valuable because a tribe without enough women to have children wouldn't be able to sustain itself.

Men on the other hand were valued based on what they could do - how strong and courageous they were, how well they could hunt and fight (competence). If a man was weak, cowardly and inept, what good would he be? He'd be a burden. He'd be eating the food and doing nothing to earn it. This means that the other men would lose all respect for him. They would either shame him into upping his game, or he'd be cast out.

Honour has always been a big part of masculinity. If a man was weak, cowardly, inept, and unwilling to change that, that would be viewed as being dishonourable. In fact in many cultures such as the Norse (Viking) culture, if you insulted a man's honour by calling him "ergi" (effeminate), he was allowed to kill you.

This is why men don't respect weak men today, especially those who are wilfully weak. Women it doesn't matter so much, they can be tatted up feminists and they can still have children. An effeminate man is good for nothing.

[Berethor]

Men things seen as more default/general, while women things seen as for women only, furthermore masculine traits tend to make a male or a female more competent.

tvtropes.org/.../MenAreGenericWomenAreSpecial

tvtropes.org/.../RealWomenDontWearDresses

[Udbhav_Bantwal]

Cause there will always be a double standard with men and women, even though this is not exactly like a double standard, it's the closest word to it, women or girls can be tomboys and they are sometimes even praised but men or boys who are feminine or do feminine things always get negativity...

[Anonymous]

Well it depends on the trait.

Women are expected to be sweet, pretty and sexually loyal. Failure to exhibit those things is punished. A sweet pretty girl who gets covered in grease fixing car engines is fine. A muscular woman who has slept with 200 guys for fun is looked down on.

Men are expected to be tough, competent, sexually virile. A guy who does those things and also likes fashion or cooking or whatever is great. A guy who is timid and sensitive to the point of being weak is reviled.

[SngBirdy]

Women are punished for being manly, but not in the same men are punished for being feminine

[Browneye57]

The women are simply ignored. The more they try to be like men the less attractive they are to them. They're laughed at behind their back. Cuz no matter what a woman does to be manly, she NEVER will be. Even if you sew a dick on her - she's still not a REAL MAN.

Girlie-men? A total fail. :)

Q: What do you call a sex-change operation from woman to man?
A: Addadicktome

:)

[TayTay21]

Double standards. Men are held in a different light, like they can't appear frivolous or weak.

[Anonymous]

The dishonesty of women like @Ellie-V, who claim the source of this issue is men, is astounding. Effeminate men are unattractive to women, and that is driver behind all of this.

[OpenWine]

we actually have a trans ftm at work we call her air pump but not when she is there because that would kick us out of work (liberal values). so women who wanna be men just take a dry spell to the pussy

[Anonymous]

Because women are allowed to do whatever they want men are not, and apparently men are the privileged ones 🙄

[ATuairiscean]

I think this concept is changing and I hope fast

[facialhair27]

Very good question. Gave it a thumbs up

[Anonymous]

cause we're taught to "be strong"

[Anonymous]

Because it's gay