How do I stop being envious of other people?

[Rangers]

I'm often very jealous and envious of people around me who are happy, in a relationship, have friends, financially stable, special, disease free, have a passion, and hobbies. All of those are things I don't have and likely will never have, which is where it starts. People constantly ask me "don't you have anything better to do than be jealous of other people"? My honest answer to that is no, I don't have anything better to do. How do I stop being envious of people who are better than me?

[SavageSushiRoll]

Here’s a little thing that has helped me. My sister is a fitness model & yes for a long time I was jealous. It sounds bad when you put it out for the world to see but we all get these jealous ticks from time to time & some people won’t admit it but I applaud you for realizing that you want to fix something in your life. For me the best medicine was to get rid of social media off of my phone for a while and just focus on what made me happy in my life. I was always compared to my sister by my other sibling as well as my own mother ( sometimes even people who I thought were my friends ) . At the end of the day you have to do a “detox “ or a “cleanse “ from social media. Hide all of the apps on your phone or temp delete them. Go outside and literally just do the things that you enjoy & if you don’t know what you like then do a bunch of stuff until you find what you like. It’s not an overnight miracle to suddenly be jealous free , but if you focus on what makes you happy as an individual then nothing can stop you from living your best life. Learn to love yourself ( but not too much or you’ll end up like my mom ) but really just learn to enjoy your own company & then you will grow as a person.
Good luck 🍀 sending positive vibes your way 👌🏻

[MaverickAngel]

Make it your life goal to achieve whatever it is you see in them (money.. looks.. fame?) - for yourself? You can even learn from those who have achieved- so rather than jealously its admiration you spread around

[Rangers]

Here's the problem, those aren't attainable for me

[MaverickAngel]

Not even one?

[Rangers]

No, they aren't

[MaverickAngel]

Why not? (serious question- not trying to put you on the spot)

[Rangers]

Because I have big disadvantages that can't be overcome

[MaverickAngel]

So you will probably disagree with me but I saw your post about cystic fibrosis. I was diagnosed with lupus/cipd recently. It got so bad I couldn't walk. I'm on treatment now and am slowly improving but can't do what others take for granted (run... get physical). I have frequent low-grade pain which I've learnt to live with. To manage my condition I've changed my diet to completely healthy- helped a lot but food is no longer a life pleasure. I also recently got divorced. Having said that. I'm the top performer consultant in my company (achievement done during my hospitalization) and I've found a new guy who loves and accepts me through all this. I also look better than ever (nobody would guess what I've been through and most people dont even know). I refused the lemons and fought for my own destiny. It's harder with a "handicap". But I'm not cutting myself any slack. And I want let people put me down or unfairly compare me or make me feel bad. I know a super hot blonde whose healthy and wealthy (has it "all") but everyone treats her like a brainless and cheap trophy... and she let's them. she's accepted her lot in life. Handicaps come in all shapes and forms and some are harder to work through than others - but its really how you deal with them that counts...

[Rangers]

My lifespan is half that of a normal person, quality is dramatically worse, and many careers (like the military) won't even let me try due to my condition and they think there's no way I could pass the exams, so they refuse to give me the opportunity to try. And what I have can't be cured, even if it could, damage is permanent.

[direfrog]

You're on your way to becoming a covert narcissist, also known as a gamma. That's a personality type that everyone hates and if you don't fix it, it will ruin your life and the life of others too.

Good news is you're able to recognize that you do have a problem, which a true narcissist could never do. So you can fix this.

Go to Youtube channel "Vital Mind Psychology" and watch this guy's videos on covert narcissism.

Also google "Alpha Game: Graduating Gamma".

You can search for help using "narcissism therapy" although you will most likely find therapy for victims of narcissism. You can try therapy, too.

You need to build confidence. Try to find something you can get good at, it can be anything as long as you can be proud of it. For example go to the gym or do some sports, stop being fat and/or scrawny. Anyone who isn't disabled can do that. Sell your xbox and buy a bicycle. Eat properly. And never talk when you are angry.

[Rangers]

I've tried improving my body, but nobody can help me get there because it doesn't function properly due to a genetic disease.

[AndyFo]

Stop selling yourself short would be a good start. Just because people are in relationships and have things you don't have does not make them better than you. You have to learn to accept yourself for who you are and love yourself instead of watching other people and wishing that was you. Once you accept yourself for who you are, than you can start taking steps towards the things you want in life.

[Rangers]

They have a passion, they can attain it, they have tons of money, a loving family, friends, a relationship, hobbies, healthy, disease free, and a life. That makes them better than me.

[AndyFo]

Someone once said and I quote "Your greatest enemy is but yourself". I don't have passion, it was ripped away me from a long time ago. I don't have money, I was born into poverty, I don't have a lot of friends because I live in a life where everyone stabs you in the back. I don't have a relationship because all people look for in my experience is whatever gives them pleasure. I do not have a life most would consider interesting. All this and not even once have I considered myself inferior to anyone else. Ones worth is not defined by what they have or don't have, its defined by what one does with what they do have. Everyone has something to give, something that makes them who they are, something no one else has. There is always going to be people in this life who have more and some who have less, that is just reality.

[shimmeryns]

When you are content and happy with your own life, you actually feel happy for others' success and happiness.

[MzAsh]

Improve yourself. Find something that you are passionate about and master that thing. Work out. Hustle and make your own money. Get your own hot chick.

[Rangers]

I've tried, I've gotten nowhere

[MzAsh]

You’re 18. It took me until 33 to do it.

[Rangers]

I have half the lifespan of a normal person due to my genetic disease

[MzAsh]

What is your disease?

[Rangers]

Cystic fibrosis

[MzAsh]

I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you continue to do the best in life and value yourself and your own accomplishments rather than compare yourself to others. You deserve that much.

[Cask23]

Develop practicing the art of gratitude.

Everyday before bed write 3 things down your thankful for. It could be big things or something stupid and small.

Eventually you'll develop a gratitude mindset where you realize how blessed your life is and don't bother with comparisons.

[Rangers]

It's not just what I have, it's what I'm unable to achieve the things that others do easily.

[Anonymous]

I have a cousin on my mothers side, who people do admire, tell him constantly he’s attractive, tall, gets daily requests all over social media, be hit on etc. while I’m just another normal looking chubby guy. Yes I do get jealous from time to time because these are the things I’d love to witness myself.
You have to note that not everybody is as happy as they seem. How can you know they don’t have any disease? How can you know they have a perfect relationship? How can you know they are really truly happy? We people like to show off and pretend that we have our life in our hands but that doesn’t mean everyone is equally happy just because some other guy has a bigger wallet in his pocket. As long as you know which feet to put in which shoe, you can achieve anything.

[LittleJoy]

You do have hobbies or better things to do but you can't see them and figure them out because you are focusing on others and what they have. First thing you should start appreciating what you have and try new and different things so you can find out what are your hobbies, find what are your main goals in life and start working on achieving them. Also there are many books out there to help you to improve yourself and your skills so you can be better than others. Good luck

[TripleAce]

The only way is to proactively care less
to understand what type of energy it projects on you... how it takes away from other more positive thoughts
we only have a certain amount of will power in a day to handle stuff

[pageturner]

Start practicing mindfulness and being grateful for what you have.

[Dkc123]

You are what you are but just to let you know.. There are people who are and will be envious of you too.. 😬😅

[bill_towers]

There is always a bigger fish.
Push your own potential as far as you can and respect yourself.

[SunnyCaliGirl]

Start loving what you have already and not what you don't have.

[elly91]

The day you accept that the grass isn't necessarily greener on the other and you start worrying only about yourself and you that no one is comparable to another...

[Rangers]

Most people would laugh at that

[Lyndil]

Hey, it's normal... maybe you're just somewhere where you don't fit it and then rant about how lucky other people are... but if you're in a place like wherein you're luckier than others then you wouldn't feel that way...

[Rangers]

I can't think of such a place, and I'd be a very miserable place

[LuWe22]

Don't compare yourself, get a Hobby and focus on yourself

[Rangers]

It's not even me that compares most of the time, it's other people that do it. And you know saying that is just another way of saying everyone around me is better than me, which is why I shouldn't compare myself to them, right?

[Ordinarygurl_]

Focus on what you have not on what you don't have

[idk777]

My advice would be to read up on stoicism.

[Notabadguy]

Focus on yourself and people will envy you

[Anonymous]

Focus on bettering yourself

[Kurodo]

Become them

[thechesseman]

Be better.

[Rangers]

You're probably one of those Dark Souls players that tells people to "get good" when they ask for help.

[thechesseman]

Something like that.