How can you stop being jealous of people with a perfect life?

[Anonymous]

Im jealous of some of my highschool classmates and some of my friends their life is good. They have good job they are rich now because they post too many pictures of them vacationing in different places and then they have money they have loving boyfriends that they post on social media while me I can't even get a job lol I mean Im still poor Im still the same no progress I dont have a boyfriend used to like a guy who ghosted me and I still live with parents.. no savings.. I guess this is in Asia so its normal to live with parents. Just jealous because I think they are luckier than me.

[MarkyMark2006]

Nobody has a perfect life, just perfect pictures. You see the pictures of your high-school friend and her husband relaxing in Aruba. What you don't see is that the reason she is so relaxed is because for the first time in 6 months she KNOWS he didn't pork his secretary today.

You see the family photo of your ex boyfriend and his wife and two kids, what you don't see are the lonely nights she spends alone, or the weekly therapy sessions the kids go through because he works fir the railroad and is gone for a week at a time, and when he's home he just wants to sleep and the rule for the kiss is "don't wake daddy"

You see your old beastie with her fiance behind her smiling with his arms around her 8 month belly. She's afraid it'll belong to the black guy she didn't tell him she cheated on him with. He's afraid it'll belong to the black guy he secretly knows she cheated on him with because he knows he won't be able to handle it and will leave her.

You don't see the fights, the therapy, the bruises, the depression. You see the moments they choose to share. Nobody puts the dropped balls in their highlight reel.

[Sonorous]

I think you mean envy. But what will help is to not surround yourself with things or people that might make you envious or jealous.

I do believe envy & jealousy aren't inherently bad emotions. What matters most, in my opinion, is how much they harm or help our lives & how they impact the lives of those around us. So if tuning in to their lives isn't helping you in some way, then maybe don't do it?

Also, I wanna say not to underestimate just how shitty life can be &/or feel for even more privileged among us. We're all human. We all suffer. We all will die. And novelty is a fleeting luxury for all of us.

[Rei13]

You’re still young. I travelled a lot in my twenties into my thirties, but there are a lot of people that I know that didn’t start going on adventures until their thirties. I know a girl that worked three jobs to be able to save to go go on crazy vacations, but you wouldn’t know how hard she worked just looking at her social media. Besides there is no timeline for that kind of stuff. Nothing is going to change if you don’t change it. If you want to go start saving now. If your job doesn’t pay enough apply for ones that pay more or if unable to do that pick up a second job. You can do it and make memories of your own

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Everybody has their problems…

Nobody’s life is perfect,

To live means to find happiness in struggle.

We all have our struggles, some little some bigger, but we all do.

Yeah, I would love to have a husband and three children.

Wear a blue summer dress and be busy loving my life.

But that’s not my reality and I’ve got to love what my reality is…

Or live in misery which I don’t like thinking about.

[Account]

I am unable to relate since I never compare myself with others nor can I relate with the socially acceptable idea of what it means to be "successful" . I haven't felt envy towards anyone so it is one of the things that I don't understand neither emotionally nor mentally.
But then again I was brought up in a way that aided me into understanding and building my own set of standards for my life not the other people's standards, therefore the only person I was ever truly viewing as competion, was myself.
The others are doing their own thing.
I don't know how to help you to get in a similar mindset perhaps a therapist could help. As for me, envy and avarice are not among the "sins" that I indulge in.

[Sonorous]

It is impossible to not compare ourselves with others. The brain does it by default.

[Account]

I don't understand how you can speak on behalf of every human being, but I will let that slip. Let me ask you, how can you compare yourself to someone else while you don't even share the same experiences, the same education, the same upbringing, the same opportunities in life or even the same wants? You compare them based on what? What they have? Their end result? What does that even have to do with you? Isn't that unfair? Let alone envy them, since by envying them you are unfairly harming yourself.
The only way I could understand this would be if you compared yourself with someone based on a certain skill they had or if they won against you at a certain game, but still shouldn't that make you think: " I am gonna master this and be better than the part of myself that lost yesterday" or "I will eventually master this" rather than "I am gonna be better than them"? Anyway that is what I think and it is fine if you disagree.

[Sonorous]

I stand by what I said.

[Pinay_ako]

First of all, no one has a perfect life. That’s the problem. You believe everything you see on instagram or Facebook that people are living their best lives meanwhile most of that are just filters, a facade… You can be happy too. Just stop comparing your life to others. Start there!

[Anonymous]

Nobody has a perfect life. They just want everyone to think that. To my friends, my life seems perfect, because my family and myself seem to have the whole package; and yes, I’m beautiful, intelligent, kind, articulate, from a wealty family…I have designer clothes, like Carrie fisher in sex and the city…a fabulous wardrobe, lots of friends, talented, dating offers from really attractive, interesting men.. and I’m also totally disabled by my depression and anxiety disorder. Living on the pension. I’d swap half my looks or money to be perfectly healthy and able to work and live alone. I rarely complain, so it seems like I’m always happy. I’m not. The song Richard Cory by Simon and Garfunkel pretty much sums up how my life looks to friends who think they’ve got less and the darker side of things from my perspective. Except I don’t commit suicide like the guy in the song.

[ProbablyClueless]

Just remember the sage words my buddy's older brother once imparted to me: "no matter how hot she is; somebody, somewhere is sick of her shit."

All you have to do is switch out "she" and "her" with gender neutral language. Because this really does apply to everyone. No matter how perfect someone seems, there is someone, somewhere that has had it up to the neck with the reality of dealing with that person.

[Asker]

Alright guess some people seems like they have it all but they dont

[ProbablyClueless]

Yup! No matter how good it seems like they have it. It's just one of those things. You're seeing the highlight reel, not the behind the scenes.

[electromagnetic]

Don’t be. No one life is perfect. I’m sure there are components of your life others would dream of having.
I always say I’m fortunate to have the best guy, the best holiday trips, the best job, the best experiences but I don’t have both my parents and sometimes, I get envious of that. But others have both parents and would die for the ability to be flexible in their job so they can spend it with their family, or go on holidays with them.
we can’t all always have it all.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I've always believed you make your own luck. Be smart, be courageous, take a chance or two.

As someone once told me. You only get one life in this world, don't live it like it's a rehearsal!

Another thing I've heard is people on their death bed regret what they didn't do, far more than what they did wrong!

Once you start living the life as you want to live it, you won't give those people you are jealous of another thought!

[BCRanger10]

By knowing that no one has a perfect life. Okay, so they take expensive vacations, they have boyfriends or husbands and kids, they get lots of likes on social media and whatever else. What you see on social media is just a snapshot of real life. They just have the things that you want, but those things come with their share of struggles and disappointments as well.

Why are you having such trouble getting a job?

[JacobJordan]

Choices make all the difference. Women who wind up with lives like that started when they were in high-school (with their high-school boyfriend) or right after in there early 20s. My wife for example we met when we were early 20s she hasn't worked or had to in almost that entire time. And I retired from working in office almost 5 years ago. Now we are in Europe with our children and living our lives

[IslaTheWitch]

If you want to have something, you have to work for it. So grit your teeth and do whatever is needed to achieve what you want. Change career path, learn new skills, develop soft skills.

[lorenzomichael]

Listen honey I wouldn't worry about it to much. Don't believe anything you hear and half of what you see. You just do you whatever makes you happy. The boyfriend will come along, and it's okay to live with your parents for a little while until you get yourself together. And while that is going on, you should spend a lot less time worrying about other people and a lot more time concentrating on yourself.

[Smashingdoozy]

Everyone goes at their own pace. Plus you're only seeing what they choose to show you. For all you know they could be fucking miserable.

[DryGermanGuy]

„All these neat little houses on these nice little streets. It's hard to believe that something's wrong in some of those little houses."
- Carl Bernstein, All the President’s Men

[sheikalana]

Be grateful for what you have and fight for what you want. Whining about other people's lives and being jealous of what others have is just pushing you away from what you want to achieve.

[Anonymous]

What you see is what they want you to see. You don’t see the arguments, the messes, the ugly parts of life, because nobody ever shares those online. It may help to take a break from social media for a while.

[Danzigdawson]

No one has a perfect life. It's just a social media illusion.

[Unit1]

Perfect life 🤔? Yeah, that is how it is when people are born rich.

Get rich. Don't expect jobs to make you rich, even having 2 jobs at the same time.

[JayBones2469]

What you see is fake. Spending on a credit card for an instant post is worse than not going and not being in debt. Focus on yourself and achieve what you can. What someone else eats doesn't make you shit.

[laly520]

there is no such thing as a perfect life

what u see isn't the whole truth, whats hidden says more

[dustybiker2]

Nobody has a perfect life.
Everyone has their own custom steaming shovelfuls.

[FreyaRed]

Perfect life doesn't exist, you're jealous about something that doesn't exist.