How can you stop being jealous of people with a perfect life?

Question

Im jealous of some of my highschool classmates and some of my friends their life is good. They have good job they are rich now because they post too many pictures of them vacationing in different places and then they have money they have loving boyfriends that they post on social media while me I can't even get a job lol I mean Im still poor Im still the same no progress I dont have a boyfriend used to like a guy who ghosted me and I still live with parents.. no savings.. I guess this is in Asia so its normal to live with parents. Just jealous because I think they are luckier than me.

MarkyMark2006 · Accepted Answer

Nobody has a perfect life, just perfect pictures. You see the pictures of your high-school friend and her husband relaxing in Aruba. What you don't see is that the reason she is so relaxed is because for the first time in 6 months she KNOWS he didn't pork his secretary today.

You see the family photo of your ex boyfriend and his wife and two kids, what you don't see are the lonely nights she spends alone, or the weekly therapy sessions the kids go through because he works fir the railroad and is gone for a week at a time, and when he's home he just wants to sleep and the rule for the kiss is "don't wake daddy"

You see your old beastie with her fiance behind her smiling with his arms around her 8 month belly. She's afraid it'll belong to the black guy she didn't tell him she cheated on him with. He's afraid it'll belong to the black guy he secretly knows she cheated on him with because he knows he won't be able to handle it and will leave her.

You don't see the fights, the therapy, the bruises, the depression. You see the moments they choose to share. Nobody puts the dropped balls in their highlight reel.

Sonorous · Accepted Answer

I think you mean envy. But what will help is to not surround yourself with things or people that might make you envious or jealous.

I do believe envy & jealousy aren't inherently bad emotions. What matters most, in my opinion, is how much they harm or help our lives & how they impact the lives of those around us. So if tuning in to their lives isn't helping you in some way, then maybe don't do it?

Also, I wanna say not to underestimate just how shitty life can be &/or feel for even more privileged among us. We're all human. We all suffer. We all will die. And novelty is a fleeting luxury for all of us.

Rei13 · Accepted Answer

You’re still young. I travelled a lot in my twenties into my thirties, but there are a lot of people that I know that didn’t start going on adventures until their thirties. I know a girl that worked three jobs to be able to save to go go on crazy vacations, but you wouldn’t know how hard she worked just looking at her social media. Besides there is no timeline for that kind of stuff. Nothing is going to change if you don’t change it. If you want to go start saving now. If your job doesn’t pay enough apply for ones that pay more or if unable to do that pick up a second job. You can do it and make memories of your own

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Accepted Answer

Everybody has their problems…

Nobody’s life is perfect,

To live means to find happiness in struggle.

We all have our struggles, some little some bigger, but we all do.

Yeah, I would love to have a husband and three children.

Wear a blue summer dress and be busy loving my life.

But that’s not my reality and I’ve got to love what my reality is…

Or live in misery which I don’t like thinking about.

Account · Answer

I am unable to relate since I never compare myself with others nor can I relate with the socially acceptable idea of what it means to be "successful" . I haven't felt envy towards anyone so it is one of the things that I don't understand neither emotionally nor mentally.
But then again I was brought up in a way that aided me into understanding and building my own set of standards for my life not the other people's standards, therefore the only person I was ever truly viewing as competion, was myself.
The others are doing their own thing.
I don't know how to help you to get in a similar mindset perhaps a therapist could help. As for me, envy and avarice are not among the "sins" that I indulge in.

Pinay_ako · Answer

First of all, no one has a perfect life. That’s the problem. You believe everything you see on instagram or Facebook that people are living their best lives meanwhile most of that are just filters, a facade… You can be happy too. Just stop comparing your life to others. Start there!

Anonymous · Answer

Nobody has a perfect life. They just want everyone to think that. To my friends, my life seems perfect, because my family and myself seem to have the whole package; and yes, I’m beautiful, intelligent, kind, articulate, from a wealty family…I have designer clothes, like Carrie fisher in sex and the city…a fabulous wardrobe, lots of friends, talented, dating offers from really attractive, interesting men.. and I’m also totally disabled by my depression and anxiety disorder. Living on the pension. I’d swap half my looks or money to be perfectly healthy and able to work and live alone. I rarely complain, so it seems like I’m always happy. I’m not. The song Richard Cory by Simon and Garfunkel pretty much sums up how my life looks to friends who think they’ve got less and the darker side of things from my perspective. Except I don’t commit suicide like the guy in the song.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Just remember the sage words my buddy's older brother once imparted to me: "no matter how hot she is; somebody, somewhere is sick of her shit."

All you have to do is switch out "she" and "her" with gender neutral language. Because this really does apply to everyone. No matter how perfect someone seems, there is someone, somewhere that has had it up to the neck with the reality of dealing with that person.

electromagnetic · Answer

Don’t be. No one life is perfect. I’m sure there are components of your life others would dream of having.
I always say I’m fortunate to have the best guy, the best holiday trips, the best job, the best experiences but I don’t have both my parents and sometimes, I get envious of that. But others have both parents and would die for the ability to be flexible in their job so they can spend it with their family, or go on holidays with them.
we can’t all always have it all.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I've always believed you make your own luck. Be smart, be courageous, take a chance or two.

As someone once told me. You only get one life in this world, don't live it like it's a rehearsal!

Another thing I've heard is people on their death bed regret what they didn't do, far more than what they did wrong!

Once you start living the life as you want to live it, you won't give those people you are jealous of another thought!

BCRanger10 · Answer

By knowing that no one has a perfect life. Okay, so they take expensive vacations, they have boyfriends or husbands and kids, they get lots of likes on social media and whatever else. What you see on social media is just a snapshot of real life. They just have the things that you want, but those things come with their share of struggles and disappointments as well.

Why are you having such trouble getting a job?

JacobJordan · Answer

Choices make all the difference. Women who wind up with lives like that started when they were in high-school (with their high-school boyfriend) or right after in there early 20s. My wife for example we met when we were early 20s she hasn't worked or had to in almost that entire time. And I retired from working in office almost 5 years ago. Now we are in Europe with our children and living our lives

IslaTheWitch · Answer

If you want to have something, you have to work for it. So grit your teeth and do whatever is needed to achieve what you want. Change career path, learn new skills, develop soft skills.

lorenzomichael · Answer

Listen honey I wouldn't worry about it to much. Don't believe anything you hear and half of what you see. You just do you whatever makes you happy. The boyfriend will come along, and it's okay to live with your parents for a little while until you get yourself together. And while that is going on, you should spend a lot less time worrying about other people and a lot more time concentrating on yourself.

Danzigdawson · Answer

No one has a perfect life. It's just a social media illusion.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

Everyone goes at their own pace. Plus you're only seeing what they choose to show you. For all you know they could be fucking miserable.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

„All these neat little houses on these nice little streets. It's hard to believe that something's wrong in some of those little houses."  - Carl Bernstein, All the President’s Men

sheikalana · Answer

Be grateful for what you have and fight for what you want. Whining about other people's lives and being jealous of what others have is just pushing you away from what you want to achieve.

Anonymous · Answer

What you see is what they want you to see. You don’t see the arguments, the messes, the ugly parts of life, because nobody ever shares those online. It may help to take a break from social media for a while.

bolverk · Answer

No one has a 'perfect life', and if it looks like they have a 'perfect life' it is either a complete sham or they are working damn hard to make there life as good as they can get it to be.

Unit1 · Answer

Perfect life 🤔? Yeah, that is how it is when people are born rich. Get rich. Don't expect jobs to make you rich, even having 2 jobs at the same time.

JayBones2469 · Answer

What you see is fake. Spending on a credit card for an instant post is worse than not going and not being in debt. Focus on yourself and achieve what you can. What someone else eats doesn't make you shit.

laly520 · Answer

there is no such thing as a perfect life what u see isn't the whole truth, whats hidden says more

dustybiker2 · Answer

Nobody has a perfect life.  Everyone has their own custom steaming shovelfuls.

FreyaRed · Answer

Perfect life doesn't exist, you're jealous about something that doesn't exist.

exitseven · Answer

Nobody ever posts on facebook that they have a crappy job and they have a boyfriend that beats them up all the time.

gorydetails · Answer

Don't compare the story of your life to the highlight reel of others. Get a job, Get some money.

soe11 · Answer

Should be improved quality life. Compete with others. Continue striving in education and employment.

noohair · Answer

Social media is fake, no person posts the truth. My father told me to worry about my own like and don't compare myself to others. Happiness come from within.

Massageman · Answer

Stop? I can;t start. There is no such thing as a perfect life.

Nerdvana · Answer

Comparison Is the Thief of Joy - Theodore Roosevelt.

jahaims · Answer

No one has a perfect life. Water your own grass instead of wishing you had someone else's lawn.

Anonymous · Answer

how often do you have regular Sex? do you get it? they also don't have issue like yours... still have some issue... if you are interested let's hangout in DM

WillL89 · Answer

No one’s life is perfect. They can portray it like it is on social media etc… but it’s not.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Know that no one has a perfect life. Problem solved

SolitarySolace · Answer

Stop comparing yourself to them

Anonymous · Answer

I know the feeling

Gabriel-Chicanito · Answer

Bettering yourself.

Rangers · Answer

You can't

whistlingwh0res · Answer

Be yourself

How can you stop being jealous of people with a perfect life?

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How to stop being jealous of other's happinesses?

How can you stop being jealous of people with a perfect life?

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How to stop being jealous of other's happinesses?

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