How to rid yourself of misogyny?

[Anonymous]

I don't know if it came on the past few years, or it's always been this way, but I've noticed myself getting more and more bitter and resentful towards women over the past few years. I had a rough childhood, and my mom was pretty bad to me, and I think that might have something to do with it. And I've been bullied and been single my whole life. So I'm paranoid. And I'd be lying if i said i wasn't resentful that I willalways be alone.

Generally I try to be alone now, But my problems with women have affected my life a lot beyond just the occasional bullying and mean comments i get from certain women.

have trouble working with women because I think they will bully me or try to get me fired. I left my last few jobs without making a single friend and in enormous emotional distress because I was so sure the women I worked with were talking shit and trying to get me fired... Which they may have been, But in fairness, sitting by myself and answering everything with a personality andcherr that are very obviously fake doesn't endear me to many people. Whenever there is a woman around, I pretend like I don't notice her unless she addresses me, because i think I would creep her out or she would lash out if i initiated conversation. I don't go to the gym or to parties or socialize, because I'm so sure women hate me and spit on my back and want to hurt me.

Idont like men either, But men just ignore me, whereas women actively try to hurt me sometimes. I've tried taking gender Studies courses and bias training online. I've read a lot of feminist literature and essays. I've tried a lot. And intellectually, i know misogyny is stupid, but i still can't shake the rising hatred And frustration. Publically And vocally I've always been anadvocate For gender equality talking points. But privately it's all poison. For now i just remain alone, travel alone, work online, see few people. But it's lonely. And either this lifestyle will end in suicide or some worse form of insanity.

[John_Galt]

I’m sorry your struggling man... I just treat everyone as an individual. Even if it’s true that every woman you have ever known mistreated you, the next woman you meet isn’t any of those women. So treating her as if she is, is unfair to her and it’s bad for you.
Also women pick up on every little social cue. They notice stuff that men wouldn't, even if they tried. So it’s possible that the women you meet are uncomfortable around you, because they sense how uncomfortable you are around them.
If I was in your position I would talk to a therapist first off. “Both a male and a female one”. Just to see if I could work through the anger and resentment from the past.
Then assuming that went well... I would practice talking to women. I would start very small, just saying hello and smiling at someone. I would do that everyday until it felt normal. Then when I feel totally comfortable telling someone hello and smiling at them... I would Start practicing small talk and just do it say after day until I felt comfortable doing it. So on and so on.
But I’m telling you women have a 6th sense... if your angry or uncomfortable around them, it’s going to make them uncomfortable. So dealing with that is probably your main hurdle.

“just think of it like this man... whatever you decide to do to improve your life. The pain of changing can’t possibly be worse than the pain of staying the same!!! So just embrace it and walk right into it”!!!

[Asker]

No. not every woman has mistreated me, But it's my expectation. At most, often it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, where i tense up, they can feel my unease, which makes them uneasy and they might just be suspicious of me. Didn't mean to make it sound like woman kind is out to get me, But i totally did. Sorry. And i Didn't read the whole response And realized that is exactly what you just said lol.

That little behavioral psyche prescrip is pretty good simple advice. I could do that. Thanks for taking the time to post such a thoughtful response!

[John_Galt]

No problem man! I hope everything works out. Let me
Know how it goes!

[Anonymous]

I am in a very similar boat in all honesty.


My mother was emotionally and physically abusive to me as well and I met a lot of women who were indifferent or overly hostile growing up.



I’m just someone who minds my own business now and I used to think a lot like you, it’s severely watered down but I just can’t get out of my head that women aren’t capable of cultivating a sense of humor or aren’t authoritarian by nature or that their compliments and acts of kindness are disingenuous. I can engage in conversation with them like normal (and not panic) now thankfully but I don’t dare try to joke with them unless I know them enough. I also get into fight or flight if any girl is angry nearby for any reason, even if she isn’t angry at me, but I think I am getting better at that.


I think you have already started the healing process by admitting it is a problem as if that you hope your knee jerk reactions are wrong. If you have accepted it as normal then it will be a lot harder.


I have been to therapy about related mental issues but I wasn’t sure how to articulate the women problem to my therapist so nothing really got done.


I think what really kicked me into gear is when I found the YouTube channel Dr Shaym. He is an anti-sjw youtuber who posts various content exposing this kind of behavior not necessarily from women it mostly them and he (sort of) calmly rationalizes their arguments. It made me realize that not only is this behavior not normal (or at least it shouldn’t be) but that women are human and can absolutely be wrong about a lot of things.


I hope that helps.

[NaultD]

Empathy. Just able to be in another person's shoes. It's virtues for a reason and people take a life time to really understand another person but that is the best way to live a better life in our world.

[Asker]

I am very empathetic towards womens issues. The reason i don't like or trust women is because I'm afraid they're going to hurt me.

[Asker]

Not physically, But hurt me emotio. ally Amd socially (i. e. Try. to destroy my reputation or relationships)

[NaultD]

Not empathy to issues (thats still a good thing) but the actual person in front of you in any given moment.

I'm a giant dude personally and i understand that affects everyone around me. I talk softly and move softly. Sometimes i mess up and hurt someone, i apologize. We learn and we get better.

So you interact with the best of intentions without pre judgment, you fail miserably and even embarrassing and the thing to do is apologize and try to learn and do better next time. It sucks and it sucks and it really dosen't get better BUT you get better and better. That's what makes life better. The hurt is all the same but leaning from that hurt is the path to a better life.

[Asker]

Thanks that's very good advice

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Try your best to treat people with respect and being decent and 95% of the time people will treat you the same way and your misogyny will begin to disappear.

[Asker]

I don't treat people bad. I just try to avoid them. No one knows I'm a misogynist. They just think I'm an eccentric weirdo.

[RenegadeSailor]

Read the Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi, lots of good info there.