Do you think it's bad to avoid LGBTQ because you don't like them/ feel uncomfortable around them?

Question

On a recent post about the Bible ( Christianity ) I stated that I didn't like them not just because of religion but also because I felt uncomfortable around them, I don't like them and they just look weird to me. When I was little I was assaulted by one as well so that didn't help matters either. I have no problem with the LGBTQ doing as they please, however I just don't want to be bothered buy them. I don't want to be force to like them either simply because its homo or trans phobix

tiffany_g · Accepted Answer

Most people would put me in the B section of LGBTQ. Well, people who have no regard for their safety put me in the LGBTQ mishmash. The truth of the matter is that I won't associate with someone who says they're LGBTQ. Those are the activist types, and I want nothing to do with left wing activists.

I don't have to be part of a coalition to be bi, and being bi doesn't mandate that I become part of a coalition. My trans friends aren't LGBT, and I don't blame them. The LGB portion demands that the T portion fights for them, then when it's all said and done they leave them hanging during their own battles. Some even go so far as to say that they don't belong.

People have seriously told me that I can not be LGBTQ+ because I oppose prenatal infanticide. That was the best news I received, because I don't want to be part of them. They can't tell me that I can't be bi, after all.

The women I date, the trans friends I have, the bisexual men I date and their boyfriends aren't LGBTQ+. They get up, get dressed, go to work, relax with a hobby, just live day to day life like anyone else. The only differences are who they go to bed with/want to go to bed with and some of my lady friends can write their name in the snow.

The ones who have to feel like they're part of something bigger, that you have to have specific views before you're allowed to date a member of your sex or transition to the other gender, I want nothing to do with them and I make no apologies for it. Deride me for it and I'll simply double down.

And Jasco, you need to stop this line of thinking: "Like I said I agree its bad, I am sorry." You have no obligation to force yourself to like anyone. You have nothing to apologize for. You don't want to hang with me and my boyfriend because I'm actively seeking a girlfriend and he has a boyfriend of his own? That's fine. You just do you and let me do me.

The only obligation you have to anyone is a basic level of civility. You see me flirting with a woman you just keep going about your business and don't say anything. You see my friend Stephanie in the men's room (yes, she still uses the men's room as much as she hates it because she respects that other women would be uncomfortable with her using the ladies room, though if it's single occupancy all bets are off) she's just there for the same reason you are. You don't have to chat with her, you don't have to hold the door for her on her way out, just don't say anything to her. She's heard it all before.

As long as you're not attempting to actively interfere with people living their lives never feel bad about exercising your freedom of association, which protects your freedom to choose who not to associate with as much as it protects your freedom to choose who you do associate with. Never let anyone bully you into feeling bad about who you genuinely desire to not be around.

janellie1917 · Accepted Answer

This is just a matter of exposure. You had a bad experience and now you’re having bad feelings about people you hardly know. Watch videos like buzzfeed and social YouTube channels that show you different types of people and their personalities/opinions. I hate republicans and though I’m christian or spiritual/believe in God, I hate most Christians too. I find them hateful, ignorant and ungodly most times I see them post something or when words leave their mouths. However, I’ve been watching these videos and talking to them and found most just don’t have exposure. The church is strict, their parents are strict and they know nothing about the real world. I can’t blame them for that. So my hatred has lessened because I understand them to some degree. I understand wanting to follow the Word of God. I understand how hard it is to stand up to what you’ve been told you’re entire life. I understand. Now if you would take some time to understand LGBTQ+ members and know them for their soul and not their sexual orientation, it’d be different. And you’d be surprised whos queer or gay on the street or at a party and you wouldn’t even know because you’ve stereotyped them all. As soon as you get to know them, itll be more comfortable. You might change your mind completely.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

We are all shaped by our life experiences, and the things that happen to us when we are young have the most profound and longest-lasting effects. Don't apologize for being human.

I am not racist but I am not attracted to black women. When I was entering puberty, the public school system was beginning forced busing to desegregate the schools. All of the traditionally black schools were closed and those students sent to traditionally white schools. The black students resented their schools being closed, they were probably scared about going into white schools, and they came to my school angry, hostile, and ready to fight about anything. They scared me. At a time when I was beginning to experience sexual attraction, every black girl in my universe was meaner than a pissed off rattlesnake.

Is it any wonder that I am not attracted to black women? And that is not something that I can simply sit down, think about, and change. It is so embedded in me that it is not going to change. I have dated Asian women, native American women, and Hispanic women and had no problems with feeling attracted.

So. . . if you are uncomfortable being around LGBTQXYZ people, you don't need to apologize. You have no obligation to like any group. You are obligated to follow the law, which means that you cannot discriminate against them in employment or housing decisions, etc., but you are not obligated to be friends with them.

I'm sure that you are aware of many black people who are more comfortable living around other black people and not in substantially integrated neighborhoods. Don't they have the right to live like that because that makes them more comfortable.

This PC/woke world has gotten WAY out of control! You're good!

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I don't avoid them because of their... proclivities, orientations, or whatever you want to call it. I actually know some gay, lesbian and even (genuinely) trans people who are really cool. But if they act like weirdos, I choose not to be around them.

Lesbians tend to be rather humorless. Genuinely trans people try to act normal, not like flaming transvestites. Some gay guys act normal, some act like weak, helpless little girls, some act like cats in heat, but some are really cool funny. I mean, they can say things in a quintessentially gay way that's hilarious. It's like, you know how black people can say something a certain way that makes it funnier than hell, whereas, if a white person said the same thing, it wouldn't be funny at all. At least that's how it is from my perspective as a white guy. I used work with a lot of blacks (it seems so stupid to rever to people as black or white, but whatever) in an insurance office. Some of us were really good friends. But those girls could move their neck from side to side and say "Nuh uh" or "Oh no he didn't" in a way that made me want to die.

So anyway, I judge people as individuals, not by stereotypes.

ladsin · Answer

Not necessarily. Nobody has the right to your time and you’re not obligated to like anyone. It would be “bad” if you treated somebody poorly based on their inalienable characteristics, or life choices which happened to differ from yours, but just not hanging out with somebody is nothing to be upset about.

Ez-Bri-Z · Answer

... ok. I literally can't believe I am about to do this, but here we go...

No. I dont think it's bad if you want to avoid us if we make you uncomfortable as long as you can be respectful when it is unavoidable. I will say however if it is noticeable that you are intentionally going out of your way to avoid us that it can be a problem as well.

I think that it really sucks that you can't just find ways to coexist with us, but I preach equal rights all the time on here and you have the right to not want to accept us and I will defend it. Now if you start saying we should all be killed or something then you lose me, but trying to avoid something you are uncomfortable with is alright.

I pose this question to you as a counterpoint though. Would you be comfortable if people avoided you for the way you dressed, the color of your skin, the people you call friends, the neighborhoods you come from or just random things that seem innocuous to you, but to them they see as egregious? If your answer is yes, then carry on I suppose. If the answer is no, then maybe reevaluate your position on LGBT folks. In the end, we are people just like you.

sofiec · Answer

That's trauma/PTSD, not 'not liking them'. You have a reason, and because of that, you can identify and treat it. You were assaulted, and so you have a fear that it might happen again, and have connected that identity/label to the offender.

If you get attacked by a dog at age 5, the same thing happens. I had a lot of problems with some things too, and I grew up very religious, and breaking those habits of being indoctrinated into finding others immoral because they choose to love in their own way was very difficult until I met and was able to understand and recognize that people get hurt by anyone. It's not LGBT that hurt you. It's just one awful person.

Many women feel this way around men, and it's called misandry or whatever. It's just trauma. It's okay to have trauma; it's not okay to translate it into bigotry. If you want to talk or something I can probably explain anything you want to know about LGBTQIA+ and the plethora of other letters, since I specifically tried to learn to be a liaison and understand how to describe feelings in ways that doesn't just call you a homophobic trumper or whatever.

Don't think of people as LGBTQIA+. Think of them as people, and things feel a lot different. Labels are there to advertise yourself; they do not control or determine your personality. Only you do.

Anonymous · Answer

I would avoid anyone that I didn't like or feel comfortable around. This would most likely be due to their personality.

I personally don't care if someone is lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender etc. but the people that identify as those often adopt personality traits that I despise such as demanding that I call them by their pronoun (which is clearly irrational as I could just call them by name instead of being forced to believe that they are whatever they choose to call themselves), and such as being open to using mob mentality to get their way and taking over institutions such as universities to brainwash people into following their philosophy (which isn't even a rational one).

Often, members of the LGBT activists' characters are defined by their sexuality (which is the biggest things that annoys me) and there's nothing else about them but they never fail to demand respect. Why am I obliged to respect these people? I refuse to respect them in the same way I refuse to respect a "Karen" or a supremacist.

For the LGBT that are not like this, I acknowledge your existence and I have absolutely no problem with you (in fact I admire you in a way for disassociating yourselves from this group).

NathanDavis · Answer

How would you feel if you read the same post but instead of LGBTQ, it read "black people" or "Mexican" or "Muslims" or "Christians" or etcétera.

would you think that is bad, to feel that way about absolutely everyone, in any group that is perceived as different?

Ditto626 · Answer

Well I don't avoid them because of religious beliefs but there's a lot of vocal LGBT (primarily the T ) that are saying some pretty outrageous stuff and basically making the younger generation hate them. They're not all bad but the very vocal ones are hurting their community and losing them support because if you're a straight male or lesbian and you wouldn't date a transwoman because she has a penis then apparently you're a transhpobe/biggot. We've really come full circle when a person's sexual preference is now a choice and not who they are. Oh the irony.

This is why the Super Straight and Super Gay memes were so popular a few months ago because of the nonsense some members of the LGBT spew out.

Toast792 · Answer

I'm part of the LGBTQA+ community. If people want to avoid me because of that, I don't really care. But I might be a bit biased, considering I avoid basically everyone anyway. But really, you don't have to agree with us, or our worldview, as long as you don't come after us and try imposing your religion/worldview on us. Just remember we are people, and you should still treat us with human decency, even if you don't agree with everything we stand for.

DocJones · Answer

Here's the way I try to treat people different than me... I treat them according to their character. I know what you're saying about not being forced to like someone, but I think you would be much better off trying not to judge someone based on anything other than character.

One good way to help yourself be a better person is to think how you would feel if someone disliked you based on your skin color, hair style, clothes you wear or any other meaningless thing. It is possible to stay true to your values and beliefs while also having some empathy for others. You never know, you just might make a great friend when you least expect it.

You don't have to like someone because they belong to a certain group, but you shouldn't dislike them for that either.

suisuiola · Answer

First thing that stood out to me is you said 'they just look weird to me' I didn't know people in the community grew an extra arm and eye as soon as they come out of the closet...

There's no problem with having beliefs and feeling some type of way about the community. That's fine, if you think sexuality matters a lot.

I'm sorry that you had a bad experience because of someone from the community, but that doesn't mean everyone is the same or everyone has a crush on you.

Bratsondanielle · Answer

I don't know if it's bad. Some people like, Some don't, Some don't care at all (myself included) it's a personal matter

I mean the ones that totally overdo it and crossdress and make sure everyone notices... that's too much for me too

Generally I tend to shy away from all this craziness lqbgtg and blm and all the social justice warriors etc etc

If they have a problem... well, it's their problem

I couldn't care less

nevernevernever · Answer

This is a tricky question because obviously you can't help your feelings. To me the important thing is how you treat people. You are going to run into LGBT people. It's just a fact of life. You're going to have a coworker, friend of a friend, person in your social circle, whatever, be LGBT eventually. I think if you make an effort to make sure you're treating them how you would anyone else even though you're uncomfortable with them there's nothing wrong with being uncomfortable

Hyped_up_on_coffee · Answer

No one is going to force you to date a gay person. Most of them usually back off. And with trans women I would simply politely tell them you are not in to them if they show interest in you. Its because the activists are a bit nuts and insist anyone who isn’t attracted to trans people is a transphobe. So just use disgresion . They are people , they don’t all think the same but all of the activists go entirely too far in trying to change culture

Anonymous · Answer

Not necessarily. I mean I’m sure a lot of them feel out of place already because of society and if I was uncomfortable around them I wouldn’t want to make them feel extra bad. I believe people deserve to have a circle they’re comfortable in. If I know I can’t give that to somebody I’ll probably avoid them. Or at least avoid getting close.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, and I think this is something you should try to get better at, it is more an irrational fear than anything and you might end up in situations where you can't just avoid people, like at work or college.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Yeah let’s everyone go back to hating people. wow it’s amazing how progressive the US is, stunning.

ManHater · Answer

To think if you are in a class are there are a lot of FAGs in the class and you get up to the front of the class and have your ass to them. You know very well one of them has his hand on his crotch grabbing it and looking are your well formed ass. I sympathize with you. You have to watch these homosexuals they will ass rape you if given the opportunity.

Anonymous · Answer

We MUST avoid them, in the aspect of showing that we WILL NOT participate in these kind of activities, nor will we approve of these activities, nor will we promote these activities. So it's NOT bad to avoid this unGodly agenda.
And if the only way to avoid the agenda is to avoid the PEOPLE involved in it, then so BE it.

kingofthellamas · Answer

Not really. As long as you are willing to accept that other might not want to be around you because you are black and they don't like that, / feel uncomfortable around you.

Karz101 · Answer

Yes this is wrong on so many levels, unfortunately you feel how you feel but also think you need to do some soul searching because this is absolutely unacceptable I am
Sorry this is just MY opinion ❤️

Sweetener_ · Answer

No it's not bad. I too can't stand them, especially since most of them are pretty aggressive and too close minded.

sixtyeightplusone · Answer

you don't owe them a friendship, The same as any other race, sex, religion, etc. People want to be around those who they share things in common. You can't "try to harm them", but it is everyone's right to be with whom they like. Just like not everyone want to be around gun loving southerners, it's perfectly fine

Anonymous · Answer

Well dude if you can't be arohnd LGBTQ people then your going to have a tough time at work. Unless you work a very male dominant profession.

But yeah it's bad to actively avoid them, i mean how would you feel if i actively avoided you bc you were black? Makes me sound like a dick, also take the bible with a pitch of salt. The Bible also says not to wear mix fabrics and a man rapes someone's daughter he's to pay the father and marry the rapist.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm conservative and don't mind the LGBT community.
they're nice people that'll never fuck with you.
the bible does have negative things to say about them that book was written in a time when gays were executed for being gay. we've learn to live in peace with everyone. if you feel uncomfortable around them don't talk to them. simple as that.
I'd rather live around gays then hardened criminals though, those bastards cause nothing but problems.

The_Maphio · Answer

Most gay people are not vocal nor showy about their sexual preferences.  The obnoxious ones well, they are obnoxious. Of course you should dodge them. Clowns belong in a circus.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, the feeling of not liking them is called homophobia. It is exactly like when someone is racist.

OneManOnly01 · Answer

Yeah I’m also kinda creeped out and intimidated by them. I don’t like to be anywhere near them

Jaylaaa2000 · Answer

Would you feel it's wrong if someone avoided you for being black because they find it uncomfortable to be around black people?

TheFlak38 · Answer

You avoid them because they openly behave like the degenerates they are with no consequences. If they behaved like normal people (as some of them do) you wouldn't have such a problem.

pokerbot · Answer

That's discrimination. I prefer to avoid everybody.

Agape93 · Answer

I’m sorry I make you uncomfortable and that you got attacked as a kid

genericname85 · Answer

no. most actually lesbian, gay, bi, trans and queer people do avoid that community, cause it's full of toxic assholes xD

Anonymous · Answer

No, not at all. You can't control your comforts and discomforts. There's no rule, either in government or in nature that says I have to like LGBT people. I see it no different from not liking snakes or heights.

Iron_Man · Answer

Don’t be sorry it’s bad what they’re doing trying to control the world with their BS Trying to shove it down our throat

Anonymous · Answer

No, I’m not like them and don’t associate with them so I don’t have to like them either, they live differently than I do and can do what they want but I don’t need them shoving their ideals on me either

AA-DRE · Answer

I am striaght I do feel uncomfortable around the lgbt community. Not my thing as long as you don't put them down or discriminate against them your fine.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Perfectly normal not to be around those nasty weirdos..

Anonymous · Answer

I had bad experiences w my lesbian friends. They touched me everywhere but they tried to keep it lowkey but still it is harassment. They act like it’s an okay thing to do just because we are the same gender but i fucking hate it

Jack9949 · Answer

Its perfectly alright. Most black people feel the same way you do. And even a good number of white people like myself

RCLJT · Answer

I don’t “ avoid” anyone, I also do not make any effort to seek them out, socialize or get to know them. That is MY personal choice.

JamieLoves · Answer

No.. they’re creepy. We like who we like. Accept it

Dchrls78104 · Answer

It's not a bad thing as you describe, but instead actually a good thing. Real Christians do not mix with such people.

Anonymous · Answer

Nah--that's totally fine. Just hang out with whomever you want to hang out with. Live and let live is a totally fine approach to life.

sheikalana · Answer

What exactly don't you like about them? LGBTQ+ people are humans just like me and you.

jshm2 · Answer

No. But you're probably a bad person anyway.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

As long you aren’t hateful and rude, then no. You can avoid whoever you please.

Zaneprodigy · Answer

i am againist lgbtq+ but i have met a trans and bi girls (on fandom) that are realy nice to me

Juxtapose · Answer

I'm bi but utterly harmless unless you assault me.

NorthwestRider · Answer

Lol you are triggered by them? That's sad

NikolaiIvanov · Answer

I avoid even looking at them.

StunningANDbrave · Answer

No I don't, I don't like them either.

_Just_A_girl_ · Answer

no since they also avoid people like christians.

BLMUSER · Answer

Yes, I believe it is bad.

princeofromance · Answer

No, It is your choice, and your choice alone.

standardguy · Answer

You needn't love them. Just treat them as humans

OddBeMe · Answer

No, they’re already avoiding you.

UnknownUser01 · Answer

Do whatever makes you comfortable.

Lyndsielee666 · Answer

Erm…

upsettispaghetti · Answer

Yeah, it kinda is

Justneedtokno · Answer

Nothing to avoid

Smashingdoozy · Answer

Yes.

Do you think it's bad to avoid LGBTQ because you don't like them/ feel uncomfortable around them?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do you think it's bad to avoid LGBTQ because you don't like them/ feel uncomfortable around them?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.