Girls - how serious is it to be accused of being a gold digger?

[Anonymous]

If you learned that a guy may have implied you are one, if you had feelings for him, would they go away? If not, would that kill any chance?

About a year ago I was talking to my friend about the girl I liked/like, he made a comment regarding gold digging. I told her but I don't know if she misunderstood or if I mis-worded but she got the impression that I called her one. We really didn't talk much about it back then and I didn't think it was a big deal

We started getting close afterward and I asked her out but I was turned down. That caused a lot of drama between us, which is still sort of there to this day.

We were talking the other day about what happened and she just brought up the gold digger comment. I completely forgot about it but she said that it really hurt her and that she's still sort of upset about it

Even though I didn't mean it at all (since I know she isn't), could that have been the reason I was rejected? I mean, it was a year ago and she's still upset about it

[Anonymous]

yeah I would reject you too.

if a guy thinks you're a gold digger most likely he doesn't trust you and probably doesn't respect you...so logically the only reason a guy would deal with a girl he didn't trust or respect is because he just wants sex from her. so yeah I would just not deal with that guy because I wouldn't trust HIS motives from me. sometimes you can apologize all you want, but you can't take words back. besides how does she even know you mean your apology? for all she knows you could be lying. if I were you I'd just move on

[Asker]

the thing is, we became even closer friends after it happened

Is there ANYTHING I could to to let her know I'm sorry? I mean, I didn't even call her one and I just feel horrible about it. She said its in the past and its over and done with but I just want her to know that she isn't one

[pr3ttybr0wn]

I wouldn't trust him if he called me a gold digger. I know how angry guys get over women they consider gold diggers so I'd assume the only reason he's trying to pursue me now is to use me or humiliate me. most men don't see gold diggers in a very good light, so if a man thinks I'm one there is no way he could view me positively and I doubt he'd treat me well either. I say you should just move on because you probably did kill your chance

[nermalinda]

If she liked you, and thought you were calling her a golddigger, then she would be really hurt and offended. She probably thinks, "why would a guy who thinks I'm after his money ask me out now? He probably just wants to use me."

[Asker]

So you think it may have killed my chances?

Since I apologized just a few days ago, if so, you think she may give me another?

[nermalinda]

If you really want to date her, then you need to talk to her about it. Tell her you really want to give it a chance, and see what she says. If she's not interested, then you have to accept that.

[Asker]

Well, I pretty much let my feelings out to her (made another question regarding it link ) so I'm just hoping that's enough lol

I'm hoping with my apology that it may be enough for her to reconsider :/

[slipslender]

i'd be hurt and insulted by such a comment. I wouldn't forget it either...so it's a pretty serious accusation in my book.

[Asker]

but if the other person didn't mean it and sincerely apologzied ( sent like three texts just downright apologizing for it lol), would you forgive them?

She's like the complete opposite of one and I've felt horrible ever since she said it

[slipslender]

if it was just a misunderstanding, then yes, I'd definitely get over it.

[Asker]

Would it kill any interest you had or would maybe have in a guy?

And I don't know if she knows that I'm truly sorry about it. I sent the text but I just don't know if that's good enough. She's a great person and I've just felt horrible about it since...

[slipslender]

without the apology, yep, it would kill any interest... but it seems like you sincerely apologized, so she really ought to move on.

[Asker]

would you perhaps give the person another chance?

[slipslender]

of course.

[Asker]

afterwards, she said that she really didn't wanna talk about it anymore and that its in the past and over and done with

does that sound like she's gonna get over it or that she accepted my apology?

[slipslender]

hmmm...sounds like she's mostly over it... I think a small part of her still feels offended. but don't bring it up anymore since she doesn't want to talk about it anymore.

[Asker]

I don't wanna

I'm just wondering if had partly to do with my rejection

[slipslender]

maybe...i can't tell you for sure :/

[Asker]

yeah

I just find it really weird that she's still hurt and upset by somethingg that happened a year ago

[slipslender]

clearly, the gold-digger comment struck a chord with her. maybe someone's called her one before. or maybe she really hates the idea that a friend viewed her as one- even though you explained that it was a misunderstanding. who knows.

[Asker]

I just feel really horrible about it

She's a really nice person and she's done a lot for me :/

[slipslender]

:( sorry...

[bel42]

my interest in the guy would definitely diminish. I most probably would try to avoid being around him.

[Anonymous]

I would be pissed if someone called me a gold digger.