Redirecting ad honestly as possible, how attractive is kindness for you in relationships 1-10?

Question

For me it’s a sheer 10 it will trump pretty much any other trait. I get used to people being abut sh! tty or like wheee they are tying to be kind but it’s a chore. Once in a while you cone across a truly kind person where you can see the joy they get in just being at peace with people & it is so beautiful. Kind of intoxicating.

I do not mean weak or ineffectual. Kindness in my opinion different than “being nice” comes with wisdom and strength inherent within & it isn’t arbitrarily doled out in any situation that calls for something more.

Anyhow, I think it’s kind of tropes like everyone wants someone kind but very often not what people end up going for - which is curious. And I’m saying after the facade is broken and whomever was pretending to be kind really isn’t. I don’t think that in itself drives everyone away tho logically, it should.

Tho I suppose shouldn’t be surprising as there is a general social incoherence regarding what seems good snd preferable with what we gravitate towards, and perhaps this is learnt…Stuff we are chastised as children for going to other children is encouraged once we reach adulthood. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Select gender and age to cast your vote:

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“REFLECTING AS HONESTLY AS POSSIBLE”
(Not redirecting)

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Lliam · Accepted Answer

'10'! You said it very well. For me, a kind nature is essential in a partner. I cherish the
kindness and care that my wife constantly demonstrates toward me and our cats and also other people and animals.

I'm a softy when I witness acts of charity and kindness toward others. For example, I've heard stories about someone at grocery check out (maybe an elderly person or frazzled single mom) realizing that they don't have enough money for what they need. They start to go through the items and return some. But the person behind them in line tells the cashier to put everything on his/her bill. I've seen incidents like that change someone's life. It fills me with emotion.

I've seen people "pay it forward" and have a huge effect on the person behind them who, unbenounced to the benefactor, were in the midst of severe hardship.

I went to renew my passport a couple years ago. Outside the office, there was a bedraggled woman with a shopping cart full of her belongings. She was very upset and obviously mentally unstable. Her younger male friend was trying to calm her but she was being abusive toward him. I don't know if he was a relative or what.

I went into the office. She came in and the officer at the door stopped her and said she had to leave. She had obviously confronted the officer before I got there. I forget what her problem was, but she was desperate. But she was out of control and abusive. The officer remained calm and professional. He wouldn't have been unjustified in calling the police to have her removed. It was that bad.

I felt sorry for the lady but also felt that the officer's behavior was exemplary.

Her friend tried to explain the woman's problems to the black officer.

I was called to the counter and was transacting my business. After a few minutes, I saw the lady being helped at another window. I was amazed. The officer had had pity on the poor wretch. Once he calmed her down and got her to behave, he actually arranged for the clerk to help her.

When I was leaving, I told the officer that he had done a really nice thing. He told me that she had called him racial epithets earlier. I shook his hand and said that I had never seen such professional behavior. It was over and above.

Most people in uniform would have been forceful. But this man was a human being.

When I got home I wrote a letter of commendation to his boss.

Any act of kindness - being pleasant to a store employee or acknowledging the existence of a homeless person with a greeting - can make all the difference to someone.

One never knows what others are going through.

ChiTown33 · Accepted Answer

If it's not 10 to me it's pretty close. I was raised to believe all women are ladies and act as such. I love my parents but they really set me back with teaching me that lol. It took a little time but I righted the ship and unlearned that. And If you're an unkind person I want nothing to do with you. The problem I have is sometimes discerning if she's a mean person. Or if she's been delt a whole lot of grief in life. Life can beat you down, but never let it make you bitter. Either way I've learned to protect myself first now. It's a shame that we have to be this way. 😔

letuswaltzforthedead · Accepted Answer

Kind and honest are the two most important traits in my opinion. I wouldn't befriend someone who I cannot trust, much less date. I can tolerate someone who isn't kind, depending on why, but it's barely a difference. If honest is a 10/10, kindness is a 9.8/10.

SoftCliff · Accepted Answer

10

A lot of people nowadays are harsh and selfish, so kindness, empathy and compassion are admirable and important qualities to have. They have positive benefits - for health, self-esteem and happiness

bigmatt98 · Answer

100% a 10 that’s why I take someone to dinner for a first date I want to see how they treat a waitress or an employee of a function it shows a lot about there true character

mickmrly · Answer

I like to be as reasonably kind as I can be and ai would hope to meet a lady who is also as kind as they. And be. A relationship shouldn’t be about competing mercilessly, like so many things in the modern world. A spouse/date should be your best friend and you should also be their best friend. We will all spend up to around 90-100 years on this big rock called the earth and it can be hard place to be sometimes. Having someone to tag along with you won’t solve all your problems, but they will make the journey of life nicer if they are the right person.

TadCurious · Answer

I agree with you Vivant about the importance of kindness. I gave it a 10 in your poll. 😊🙋‍♂️🐕

Andres77 · Answer

Completely agree…kindness affects every other aspect in a relationship.  the lack of it is a huge red flag and showstopper.

Grond21 · Answer

Kindness is huge. Really really important. Is somebody's not kind that I am not interested in them

ZackBan · Answer

It's beyond attractive. If one of a twin of girls was kind she would instantly be more attractive than her identical twin.

That being said I tend to reward kindness with kindness and if I'm not physically attracted to the person as well as mentally I would do her the favor of not going forward with a relationship because then I'll be lying when I call her beautiful

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I think it's EXTREMELY attractive!! That's why I often fall in love with girls that don't actually like me and aren't interested in me at all.

Part2603 · Answer

Sorry Vivant, but bitchy girls really do it for me. 😂

Jerre · Answer

I voted F. A person has to be kind if they want to be my friend. Kind to me, other people and kind to Charities.

TallAnon · Answer

I mean, obviously I want her to be kind to me, lol. That seems like the bare minimum to me.

exitseven · Answer

It is very important. My wife works in healthcare and has a lot of elderly patients. She always gives 110% to her patients. You have to be really kind and giving to deal with all the hard luck cases. That really impressed me right from the start.

MysticDevice · Answer

Its pretty important but there can be such thing as too much kindness. Or kindness towards those who probably don't deserve it. Rare occasions, yes, but still a possibility.

Its hard to explain what I mean so I'll just leave it like that lol

Rania05 · Answer

I don't expect a return when I'm kind so I come out kinda of dazed when I'd get some really sweet kind words or some simple gift.

MementoMori_ · Answer

If I had to pick a single quintessential trait in a girl that I find most endearing, it would not be the oft-cited honesty, but kindness.

NathanDavis · Answer

14/10...  true, genuine and authentic kindness... that's always a bless, for me

RealMarek · Answer

After being in a relationship with a mean person, I found kindness to be an essential part of attractiveness.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Kindness is a 10 for me in a relationship, I like a girl with a great personality.

Philyouup · Answer

absolutely a must. kindness is beauty to me.

humanearth · Answer

I'm a 10 on that to

Jennz6 · Answer

I have to be at least an eight or nine

Redirecting ad honestly as possible, how attractive is kindness for you in relationships 1-10?

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Redirecting ad honestly as possible, how attractive is kindness for you in relationships 1-10?

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