Why don't unhappy people keep their problems to themselves?

[Anonymous]

I'm unhappy because my child has ADHD and ODD. His behaviors are never normal and challenging. I'm bitter and angry as hell. However it's not other people's fault I'm in this situation. I try to keep my bitterness and unhappiness to myself.

What's up with others putting their issues onto others?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Oh yeah, just push down all your negative feelings and resentment. Suppression is super healthy.


As a side note, if you resent your child you’re eventually going to - if not already doing so subconsciously - take it out on your kid. I agree, that’s not anyone’s fault that your child has these conditions and struggles with them right alongside you trying to support them, but you can’t expect that you can handle it without support for yourself. You need people to listen to you vent, to validate your feelings. I’m willing to bet part of the reason you don’t tell anyone is because you’re afraid of looking like a bad mother for complaining about your kid. You’d be surprised how many parents struggle with parenting in general, plenty complain about their kids and it doesn’t mean they don’t love or care about their kids. I’m sure your kid complains about you as a parent, most kids do anyway. It’s not a bad thing to say “I hate dealing with this part of my life.” Nor is it a bad thing to ask for help on occasion. Hell, my manager has a 5 year old she brings to work with her because she can’t afford daycare and we’ve helped her hide from her kid during her shift on occasion. It sounds like support is what you need more than just suppressing everything because you fear being a burden or being seen as a shitty mom.

[DishLady]

Pent up feelings and struggles lead to health problems. There are healthy outlets for these things -- support groups, friends, etc. One shouldn't put the responsibilities of these burdens on the shoulders of others, however sharing them with the correct people can help you gain a better, more positive outlook on a problem or challenge you're experiencing.

[Sonorous]

There could be a myriad of reasons & ways that someone could not keep their problems to themselves, so I cannot simply or fully answer this.

[Avicenna]

If someone has a problem, it shouldn't be kept secret. But it should be brought to those who can help.

[HelpfulWoman]

seek therapy for yourself.
your issue of bottling it up doesn't mean others can't share within the correct context.

[In_Trance]

Ummm...